


A Dolphin's Tears

by Sheela



Category: seaQuest
Genre: AU, Angst, Dolphins, Families of Choice, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-01-22
Updated: 2002-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 65,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheela/pseuds/Sheela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sort of first season Alternate Universe. On a new mission the crew discovers that Lucas's past isn't exactly normal - not at all! But will they be able to deal with the consequences of this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tanja Zöllner](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Tanja+Z%C3%B6llner).



> This story was strongly inspired by the novel "The Music of Dolphins" by Karen Hesse, to the point where I ripped of characters and early plot points.  
> I apologize for this. I think younger-me just didn't know any better and found it simply a great book. Back then the idea for this story was jumping up and down in my head and wouldn't disappear. The only way to get rid of it was to write this story.

_I'm swimming out to them, out into the murmuring ocean. As I reach them, their circle opens to let me in then closes again. The dolphins surface and take a breath, let themselves float half asleep, one eye opened the other one closed._

_Full of joy about the new day I'm whistling and splashing towards the bright sun. The dolphins awake and whistle, too. Within a moment they are totally awake. Their sounds are filling the ocean. We whizzing through the waves of morning. We're laughing and laughing, clear the dolphintones are twirling in the sea._

_My dolphinsister grabs a gull's feather which is swimming on the surface. She dives into the depth, comes up again and jumps through the air. She gives the feather to another sister who in turn dives with it and surfaces again. Their wild game is twirling me around in the waves._

_While we are playing, the older ones are searching for food. They hurl their earsplitting whistling into a swarm of silver fish. While my dolphinfamily is swimming through the thick swarm with their snouts wide open, I'm climbing out of the sea._

_I stand on the small beach when I hear a sound that is drowning out the whistling and clicking of my eating dolphinfamily. I hear a sound that is pressing the air. It sounds like a gigantic heartbeat. Airplane. I can see it far away in the sky. A distant, warning tone._

_I turn away to eat shrimps, sappy roots and sea grass._

_The airplane comes closer. The noise is roaring in my bones. My dolphinmother feels danger, my soft, beautiful mother with her wise eyes. I can hear her; she is calling me back into the sea. I want to go to her. I'm afraid of the airplane. But first I have to find water and drink and I have to give my mother more time to eat. Because of me she isn't eating enough._

_I'm making my way to the other side of the reef. There are broad rocks where the rain is assembling in big, deep sinks. Today there is a lot of water. I'm cupping my hand and drink. The water is cool and somewhat salty. When I can't take anymore water with my hands I'm slurping the rest with my lips._

_While I'm drinking the airplane comes closer. It's no longer a distant shape. It comes too close. It does not look like other airplanes, more like an ugly fish with rotating fin on its back._

_Something is falling down from above. I want to hide. The wind coming from the airplane makes my long hair fly. The angry air is hitting me. The earth is trembling and sand is whirling around. I feel the desperate whistling of my mother, but the tone gets lost in the roaring of the airplane._

_And then a man jumps out. He runs after me. I'm climbing deeper into the mangroves. But the man is too big, too fast._

_I cannot escape._

* * *

"Tell me again what we are going to do in this area, sir." Commander Ford addressed Captain Bridger while they were walking down the hallway towards the canteen.

"We are on a research mission to examine the local plant life and microorganisms, Commander." The older man responded with a slight grin. They entered the canteen and lined up to get some food for lunch. "Relax, Commander. It won't harm you to have some free time. There's nothing bad about some quieter weeks."

They took their trays and went over to a table where Otiz, O'Neil and Lucas were sitting. O'Neil and Otiz were discussing heavily about which football team was going to win the next game, Chicago 2005 or Florida Alligators. Lucas was silent, staring at his food. The Captain and the Commander greeted them and sat down. Soon they joined the discussion, until Bridger noticed that Lucas so far hadn't said one word. The teenager only played with his food instead of eating it.

"Hey!" Bridger put his hand on Lucas'. "What's up, Lucas?"

"Nothing." The boy answered in a monotone way.

"Sure. And the seaQuest is an airplane. Now tell me, what's wrong, kiddo." Bridger insisted.

Lucas stared at his hands. Why did the Captain have to ask? But Lucas knew he wouldn't stop digging until he had his answer.

Bridger was still waiting. He knew when he would push the teenager to much, he would reach nothing at all. So he showed patience.

Lucas sighed and blinked back tears. "I was notified that an old friend of mine died a few days ago."

"Oh. I'm sorry, kiddo." Bridger put his hand on Lucas' shoulder trying to comfort him, but he shrugged it away.

"'s okay." He whispered. "It's just... she was like me, in a way..." He stood up and quickly left the room. Bridger could only look at his retreating back. He knew the boy needed some privacy.

Dr Kristin Westphalen sat in the moon pool area, bent over a sample of a newly found sort of alga. Lucas came in and began working on the vocoder. Well, he pretended to work but to Kristen it was soon clear that Lucas was only playing around with the equipment. His expression gave Lucas away. Normally when he was working really hard, he would shut out everything surrounding him and concentrate on his task. But now his attention was wandering around, he would look around in the room or go over to the pool to stroke Darwin every few minutes.

Finally Kristen decided to give the boy some real work to do and called him over to her.

"Lucas, come here." She shouted lowly. "I want you to take a look at this. I think it's going to interest you!" Obediently the teenager walked over to the doctor and looked at the sample through the microscope.

"It's a sort of alga." Kristen explained. "It seems to have about the same effects as penicillin. It kills all kinds of bacterium in its nearness. We are to examine it further. That's why we're heading to a group of islands near Cuba. What do you think? Lucas?" He was looking at the surface of the pool, his gaze was empty. Lucas seemed lost in thoughts. It was only when Kristen waved her hand in front of his eyes that he snapped back to reality.

"What?!"

"Lucas what were you thinking of? You were miles away from here!" Kristen asked a little bit concerned. "Are you alright?"

"Huh?" Lucas simply couldn't concentrate. His mind kept wandering to Shay, his death friend. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking."

"About what?" The doctor probed.

"Dolphins." She smiled; she should have known it. Lucas had seemed to have a special bond with Darwin from the beginning. "Do you think Darwin is happy aboard the seaQuest? We have no chance of really knowing. Do you think dolphins can cry?" he asked her silently. Kristen was about to answer when Lucas continued. "Actually it doesn't matter. Nobody would see a dolphin cry as they live in the sea. Nobody sees a dolphin's tears. But does that mean that they aren't there at all?" Without waiting for an answer Lucas walked away and left the area.

Kristin was stunned. She hadn't expected this – how could she have? Never before had she seen the boy so... pensive, lost in thoughts, so down!

Captain Bridger entered the room from the other side and stepped to Kristin's side.

"Hey, was that Lucas?" he asked.

Kristin turned around to face him, still thinking about the strange conversation. "Yeah..."

"What were you talking about?"

"I'm not really sure." Bridger gave her a quizzical look so she tried to explain. "I was showing him some samples and informed him about our next research mission and suddenly he asked me, if dolphins could cry. Then he said something strange, he said: Nobody sees a dolphin's tears. Do you understand what he meant?"

"In a way, yes; I think." He responded. "Lucas told me at lunch that an old friend of him died a few days ago. I think it's his way of dealing with his feelings. To talk about dolphins. Don't worry, Kristen. He'll come out of it soon. Especially when he hears about our new mission."

Lucas entered his small room and locked the door. He never locked his room, not even when he left it; he didn't think it necessary. But today he locked his door. He didn't want anyone to come in unexpectedly and see him cry. Nobody sees a dolphin's tears.

And cry he did. He threw himself on his unmade bed and took out an old photo. It showed two young kids, a boy and a girl, of about eleven years sitting next to each other on the floor of a room. The boy was smiling, his blue eyes were gleaming and he looked directly at the person who had taken the picture. The girl, however, wasn't smiling and didn't look to the camera. She seemed totally off and lost in her own world.

* * *

_I'm going to meet another girl._

_The girl is small._

_The girl is different, not like Doctor Beck and the others._

_The girl is different like me._

_I tell the girl my dolphinname._

_The girl looks at me._

_I say my dolphinname once again._

_The girl makes a laughing tone._

_Doctor Beck and Sandy and the others like the laughing tone._

_Doctor Beck tells the girl: Shay. That is Milan._

_Doctor Beck says: Milan. That is Shay._

_I say the word Shay._

_Sandy writes in a book: Milan says Shay._

_Doctor Beck says: Shay is like you, Milan. Shay learns how to talk. Shay and you, you can learn together. Who can show me things that we are wearing?_

_I show a picture with boots. I say: Boots. I have got boots. Doctor Beck says, boots are only for rain. My ears like to hear my boots all the time. I let my good boots talk like dolphins talk._

_Doctor Beck says: Good, Milan._

_Shay does not show. Shay does not speak._

_Doctor Beck says: Who can tell me, what you do with a fork?_

_I show a picture with food._

_I say: Eat._

_Doctor Beck says: Good, Milan._

_Shay does not show. Shay does not speak._

_Doctor Beck says: Who can tell me, what you do when you're cold?_

_I look at Shay._

_I go to Shay._

_I show Shay a gentle hand._

_Shay is a soft hair girl._

_Shay is a big eyes girl._

_Shay is a small small girl._

_I look at the face of Shay._

_Shay does not show. Shay does not speak._

_But I hear Shay, without a word._

* * *

"Oh, Shay." Lucas sighed. Tears began running down his face. One tear dripped onto the picture, on the boy's face. Lucas groaned. He missed her. He felt the taste of his tears on his lips. Saltwater. It tasted like the ocean. He missed it. He missed it so much that it hurt!

He cried a long time before he noticed Darwin in the aqua tube. The dolphin was watching him. Lucas flicked on the vocoder in his room.

"Lucas sad." Sounded the electronic voice in the small room.

"Yes, Darwin. I'm very sad." The boy agreed. "I miss my friend."

"Lucas miss pod more." Darwin diagnosed. "Lucas go back to pod?"

"Some day. At least I hope so!" Lucas said sadly.

"Lucas tell of pod!" Darwin demanded. Lucas face lit up as he began to speak.

The vocoder's error light blinked as it couldn't translate the following whistles and clicks.

* * *

The next morning Lucas was working on the vocoder again, sitting at the moon pool. Darwin was swimming around. Suddenly the dolphin gave a short whistled warning.

"Don't even try it, Ben!" Lucas advised the older man without even turning around. Ben Krieg, the Support and Moral Officer of the seaQuest, was disappointed that his attempt of sneaking in and startling the boy had failed so miserably.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked curiously.

"Nobody else tries to sneak in in such a pathetic way, Ben." Lucas gave the mischief answer.

"Hahaha!" Ben's ego was truly bruised. So he tried to change the subject as fast as possible. "What are you working at?" he asked.

"On improvements for the vocoder." The fifteen-year-old responded. "I want it to be able to translate any dolphin's clicks and whistles, not just the one he is programmed for. The only problem is I don't have any other dolphin's here to test it and see if it works."

"Maybe that'll change soon..." Ben muttered.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, forget it. Come on, I was supposed to pick you up for a senior staff meeting. Just image the icy look Commander Ford will give us if we're late again!"

"You mean, if you are late again!" Lucas teased.

"What ever! Now come on!" They quickly walked towards maglev.

The two of them entered the staff room. Of course they were the last ones to come in and Ford sent Krieg his famous look. The senior staff consisted of Commander Ford, Lieutenant Commander Hitchcock, Security Chief Crocker, Lieutenant O'Neil, Lieutenant Otiz, Doctor Westphalen, Ben and Lucas. And of course Bridger.

When everybody was assemble and the talking had stopped Bridger began.

"As you all know we are heading to a group of small islands between Florida and Cuba. We are to examine the local plant life. But that's not our main mission."

From here Kristin took over. "About six years ago a little boy was found in this area, living with a dolphin pod. I've got an old article from a newspaper." The doctor began to read out:

_"On an island near Cuba: Wild human child found_

_MIAMI, Florida, December 23. "At first I thought, he was a mermaid." Lieutenant Monica Stone says. "His hair fell to his knees and he was covered in sea grass." But then, after further reflections the crew of the coastguard helicopter noticed that they hadn't discovered a mermaid, but a human child._

_It happened on a routine-observation-flight in the area between Florida and Cuba, over the Cay Sal Bank. The team, consisting of Monica Stone, the pilot Nicholas Fisk and the mechanic Gary Barnett, has never before had flight like this particular one._

_After they had seen the child for the first time, they radioed to Miami and waited for permission to land. Already in the air they videotaped the boy. "Gary let a rescue box fall down on a parachute. In rescue boxes there are food, blankets and dressing material. Most people run directly towards it. But this boy ran away, hid in the mangroves. He moved in a very strange way as if the ground was moving under his feet. Gary got out and ran to him with his hand outstretched."_

_"He was behaving strange" said Barnett. "More like an animal than a human."_

_As soon as the boy was aboard the helicopter he was wrapped in a blanket. "He gave shrill screams, like a gull", said Stone. "His breathing was strange, every time the air burst out of him, as if he was controlling his breathing consciously."_

_Monica Stone, academic for communications speaks English, Spanish and French. But the child wouldn't or couldn't react on any of these languages._

_Regarding the height and physical appearance of the boy, it can be said that his age lies between eight and eleven years, said Stone. He weighs about forty kilos, while his hair makes about ten percent of the weight._

_"Most refugees we're finding look like they have been to the sea for days. They are dehydrated. But they still look like humans", said Barnett. "This boy, however, had real salt crusts. Taking the state of his skin – everywhere on his face and body he had circular scars – he must have been living in the sea for a very long time."_

_"Milan (that's what the team of the coastguard named the boy; Milan means miracle) is doubtlessly a human, but in a way he is different, he has something of nature about him." Said Stone._

_During the short flight to the mainland the desperate boy was hitting against the window of the helicopter with his cheek and screamed. Barnett put his hand as a pillow between the boy's head and the hard helicopter's wall. The screaming drowned out the noise of the motor, was shrill like the screams of an animal._

_"It seemed as if he wanted to shout something to someone down there." Said Stone._

_Stone poured water into a cup and offered it the boy._

_"He touched the water with one fingertip, then he put the finger on his tongue." Said Stone. "Slowly he stretched his open hands to me which he had formed to a watertight vessel. I poured the water into it and he drank it."_

_"He had something special about him. From the first moment I saw him, I felt the urge to be there for him, to care for him. When we landed in Miami he was obviously exhausted, but at least he had understood that we didn't want to harm him. Before we handed him to the authorities, he bent forward and regarded me with one eye, then he turned his head slowly and looked at me with the other eye. Every time I think of it, I'm stunned by the way he searched for contact to us, how he reacted to us. I have never before seen anything like that."_

_The boy is now to come to the care of a private institute for psychical health that researches cognitive abilities and nervous system."_

The room was silent. Everybody was touched by the story. Most of them remembered having heard of it, but after the child had come to a private institution nothing had been published about him anymore.

Finally Captain Bridger spoke up again. "Our mission now is to find the pod the boy has been living with and study it. The UEO has got great interest in how it was possible for the boy to survive in the ocean and if he could communicate with the dolphins. The institution he is in is private and therefor it denies to give the UEO any details. So the UEO has decided to find them out themselves."

Doctor Westphalen's eyes were sparkling. "Just imagine the possibilities!" she said. "Maybe we could really learn how to talk with the dolphins. We wouldn't need the vocoder anymore!"

"Do you want to make me unemployed?" Lucas asked wryly. All heads turned in his direction. "What?" he asked unnerved.

"I had expected you to react a little more enthusiastically, Lucas." Bridger said. "Aren't you impressed?"

"About what?" Lucas asked. "It's just another wolf's child. It's not the first case and probably not the last!"

The senior staff was virtually stunned by Lucas' new attitude. But Bridger stayed calm and patient, blaming the boy's behavior on his loss.

"The boy must be about your age, Lucas." Katie Hitchcock stated.

"Yeah, he and about another 80 million boys on this planet!" Lucas grumbled.

"Still I want you to find out as much as possible about this case. Go and take a look at their files and make some copies for the UEO." The Captain ordered him. Lucas was about to protest, but Bridger silenced him with a wave of his hand. "I'm making this a direct order." He said. Then he addressed the whole crew. "We are finished for now. You have your orders. We'll reach the area in about seven hours. Dismissed."

Lucas quickly left the room and practically ran to his quarters. Nobody had noticed how pale the boy had gone during the discussion.

"Lieutenant Hitchcock, please wait a moment." Captain Bridger stopped the woman when she was about to leave the room with Commander Ford. She stopped and came back.

"Sir?" she asked awaiting his orders.

Bridger waited until everybody else had gone out before he continued. "I have some more orders for you. I want you to work on the computers and see what you can find out about this boy Milan, the institute and the results concerning the boy."

"But, Sir", Hitchcock was stunned. Could it be that the Captain was becoming slightly senile? "You just ordered Lucas to do so!"

"I know, I know. But I think you noticed that Lucas isn't in his best form. He might be rather distracted now and maybe miss something on his search. So I would like to make sure that we don't miss anything important."

"Aye, Sir." Lieutenant Hitchcock hesitated before she dared to ask. "Sir, what is it that distracts Lucas?"

The old man sighed. "I guess I can as well tell you the few I know. Yesterday Lucas was informed that an old friend of him died. I don't know anything else about it. I trust, you understand now and treat Lucas with some caution."

Aye, Sir." Hitchcock went out. She felt for the young boy. It was always hard to loose someone you cared for. She made her way to the Bridge to begin working on the computers wondering who Lucas's friend might have been.

* * *

Lucas dropped on the bed in his room like a stone. Why? Why now? He asked himself. It had all been going so well during the last months, since he came aboard the seaQuest. Why had this to happen now? It would ruin everything! Maybe he could keep them from finding out, he mused. If they didn't get the information they needed they wouldn't reach anything and soon give up. It was worth a try! But still he ached inside. They were going to the Cay Sal Bank! He felt a huge wave of homesickness crashing over him. He tried to suppress it with all his might – nostalgia never help him; never had and never would he told himself.

Lucas flicked on his computers. After half an hour he had all the information that was available. He picked out two or three files that held almost no new information and sealed the rest with a password.

He would give the Captain some pieces that wouldn't really help them and pretend not to be able to get anything else. It could work, even if it felt like betrayal. Lucas prayed it would work...

About eight hours later Lucas stepped on the Bridge with the disc that held the selected information. He had spend the last few hours playing around and working further on the vocoder, trying to prepare himself mentally.

He took a deep breath before he addressed Bridger. "Captain..."

The man turned around and smiled. "Ah, Lucas! What did you find out?" he asked.

"Not much, I'm sorry." The boy said. "There's almost nothing published about the research of the center about Milan. And their computers have one of the best security systems I've ever seen. I'd would take days to hack into them, I'm sorry. All I have is this:" With that Lucas inserted the disc into Bridger's terminal and called up the articles.

"The boy was raised and educated by Dr Elisabeth Beck and Sandy Orlev. With them was another wolf's child, they named her Shay. Obviously Milan developed very good, learned a lot more than "usual" wolf's children. But more I couldn't find out."

Bridger sent Hitchcock a knowing glance. There was surely more to find out. "It's okay, Lucas. We'll..." The Captain said but he was interrupted by Otiz.

"Sir! There's a dolphin pod directly in front of us. It should be the one we're searching for." Otiz announced.

"On screen!" Bridger ordered. And the W.S.K.R.S. transmitted the pictures a pod of dolphins, swimming and playing around. Their whistles and clicks filled the room.

Lucas couldn't seem to get enough air when he saw the dolphins who were joyfully greeting the big something in their waters and tried to get W.S.K.R.S. to play with them. Lucas turned around and fled from the Bridge.

He couldn't hold it back any longer – he had to see them! Lucas ran to the Moon Pool and changed into his diving-suit. He didn't bother taking any diving equipment like oxygen or flippers knowing he didn't need them. Lucas entered his code into the terminal to open the aqua tube's exit to the ocean. He climbed into the pool and swam out. Home! Was his only thought. No longer did he care what or who he was leaving behind; his mind was focused on the task of leaving the seaQuest as fast as possible. His body adjusted quickly to the familiar feeling of extreme free diving.

Meanwhile on the Bridge Hitchcock called to Bridger. "Captain, I'm in the center's systems!"

"Very good! Can you give us some of the highlights for now?" Bridger asked.

"Sure, Sir, one moment please." Hitchcock briefly read some of the reports. "Lucas was right so far. Milan seems to be really smart. He was obviously very gifted with computers and soon understood everything he was told or what he read. Hmm, ah... finally the people of the institute decided to let him go to college; at the age of twelve! Just imagine! The boy has to be a real genius! They held the opinion that it would be best for him and his "integration into society" to live in a normal family. So he was given in the care a couple, both scientists. Milan was given a new name, a name he choose himself. He named himself Lucas! And the couple's name was Lawrence and Cynthia Wolenczak!" Hitchcock shouted in surprise. The Bridge's activities stopped abruptly. The whole crew that was on the Bridge was stunned. Various comments were heard, mostly along lines like "What!?" "Lucas?" "No way!" "Impossible!"

Bridger turned around to face Lucas, but the boy was gone. Maybe he should have expected that. Obviously Lucas had done so far everything possible to keep his past as a secret. But why?

At least they had an explanation for the teenagers odd behavior during the last days.

"Mr. O'Neil, call Lucas on his PAL. I think we need him on the Bridge to explain several things." Bridger ordered.

O'Neil typed on his terminal trying to reach Lucas's PAL without success. He tried three more times before he turned back to the Captain.

"He's not answering his PAL." He informed the man. Actually he informed the whole Bridge as everybody was eagerly observing the events unfolding before their eyes.

Dr Westphalen entered the Bridge and was surprised to see everybody staring either at the Captain or the screen which showed a report written some years ago.

"What's going on?" she asked nobody directly. When she got no response she addressed Bridger directly. "Captain? What happened?"

Bridger scratched his head turning to her. "Well, this dolphin-boy, Milan, that we are searching for; obviously we found him." Kristen gave him a quizzical look. "Lieutenant found out that Milan got a new name and went to college. Milan was named Lucas. Lucas Wolenczak." Dr Westphalen heavily sat down on a pair of stairs, taking the amazing new information.

Bridger hit a button on his terminal and made a call via loudspeaker. "Lucas to the Bridge! Lucas to the Bridge and fast!" his voice sounded through the boat.

"Lucas no seaQuest!" came Darwin's mechanic voice from the vocoder as the dolphin surfaced in his small pool on the Bridge.

"WHAT!?" All eyes turned to the animal and Bridger rushed to its side.

"Lucas no seaQuest." Darwin repeated. Bridger stroked his head reassuring and asked:  
"Lucas no seaQuest?" What do you mean my friend?"

"Lucas leave seaQuest! Lucas go back to pod! Lucas love pod!" The dolphin's whistles sounded through the Bridge. He seemed very content with what he had just told them.

Bridger and Dr Westphalen were trying to get over the heard and to think about what to do when the next bombshell came crashing down on them.

"Captain, you should see this!" Otiz shouted pressing several buttons. The main screen flickered before he showed the pictures the W.S.K.R.S. was taking.

It was Lucas. He was diving in a depth of about 50 feet without any diving equipment. He neared the pod. As soon as the dolphins had seen him, they came swimming towards him.

"What the hell does he think he's doing!?" Dr Westphalen shouted. "He's going to kill himself! He'll drown any second if he doesn't surface soon!"

But nothing like that happened. The crew watched in amazement as Lucas smiled and gentle stroked some of the animals swimming around him. Others of them bumped softly in his side with their snouts, greeting and welcoming him. Their whistles and clicks filled the ocean and were also transmitted to the Bridge. However, what was the most strange thing about the situation was that Lucas seemed to be talking to the dolphins directly! He whistle through his nose. Finally he began moving towards the surface to take a breath. One of the older animals swam under him and began effectively to bring him up more quickly by pushing against his foot. The pod surfaced and continued to whistle and click. Several of the younger dolphins began jumping through the air tempting Lucas to join their game.

Lucas was more than happy. He was finally home again! His pod had welcomed him willingly, happy to have their lost member back. They hadn't forgotten him after all this time! He felt their sonar going through his body. His brothers and sisters were eager to play with him but he put them off for a while. Then Lucas got a very familiar, wonderful feeling and turned around. There she was: his beautiful mother with her wise eyes. And next to her was a new face. His mother had got a new child, a sister to him! Lucas quickly swam to their side and began stroking them. His mother welcomed him back in their pod and introduced him to his sister. Then she gently pushed him upwards indicating he had to get some air. Lucas smiled – his mother always knew exactly what he needed and was watching out for him. He broke the surface and took a deep breath, savoring the feeling of the fresh and clean sea air. He was truly home!

Back on the Bridge Lucas' friends weren't so content with the current situation.

"What are we to do now, Captain?" Hitchcock spoke everybody's thoughts.

"Honestly, I don't know." Bridger sighed. This whole situation was giving him a headache. Why hadn't Lucas told him?

"Well, we can't very well leave him out there for very long! He would die!" Dr Westphalen declared.

"But to me it doesn't look like Lucas intends on coming back any time soon." Ben said indicating to the screen. It showed how the pod slowly but clearly began putting distance between themselves and the seaQuest.

"We have to bring him back!" the doctor stated. Everybody looked at Captain Bridger expectantly. The old man sighed and nodded.

"You're right." He took a deep breath. "Commander Ford, Lieutenant Krieg and Lieutenant Chan, get yourself diving equipment and then go out and get Lucas back on the seaQuest. But don't in any case hurt him or any of the dolphins!" the Captain ordered.

"Aye, Sir!" As the three rushed out of the room he heavily sat down on his seat. Dr Westphalen handed him a glass of water which he gulped down quickly.

"Take some deep breathes. There you go!" She advised him. "We don't need our Captain breaking down now in such a situation."

Bridger rubbed his eyes and groaned. "I think I'm becoming old. But I've never before seen anything like this"

"How could you have?" Dr Westphalen asked. "I think nobody of us ever has or ever will seem something like this again!"

"Captain! They are out now and on their way, Sir." Otiz announced. The W.S.K.R.S. view showed the three officers diving towards to the pod which didn't seem to notice the danger until the three humans were to close.

Ben grabbed Lucas leg and pulled him down. The boy whirled around to see what was going on. His friends were giving him hand signs, indicating he should come back into the seaQuest. Lucas shook his head violently, showing clearly that he didn't want to go, and tried to break free of Ben's grasp. But the older man was too strong. Lucas lashed out with his hands and feet trying desperately to come free. He gave a strangled sound coming deep from his throat and suddenly all the dolphins began attacking the three intruders. They didn't bite or otherwise try to seriously hurt the humans but bumped into them to drive them off. The three of them fought hard to keep the angry dolphins away, but they were fighting a lost battle. Finally Ford pulled out a small instrument and pressed a button. The dolphins squirmed as the ultra-sound tone hit their sensitive ears and finally swam away from the humans. Only one of the dolphins still tried to defend Lucas but this one too had to give up eventually and made its retreat. Lucas still was dashing around, trying to escape. He succeeded in kicking Ben in his stomach. In pain the man let go off him and Lucas quickly took off. Ford gave his group a short sign and they rushed forward to the boy at the same moment. Ford grabbed his arms and twisted them behind his back while Chan grabbed Lucas's legs and tied them together, stopping the boy's kicks effectively. At the sudden pain that shoot through his arms Lucas threw his head back and screamed. Well, he tried to scream but as he still was underwater only bubbles of air emerged of his mouth and he swallowed a lot water. Lucas coughed heavily. Ben took out a small oxygen cylinder and held it to Lucas's mouth. The boy took some deep breathes before he spat out the instrument again and started to try and lash out again. But it didn't help him much now. Against all his struggle the three brought him back to the seaQuest.

Seeing this Bridger jumped up. "Commander Hitchcock, you have the Bridge!"

"Aye, Sir!"

The Captain and the doctor rushed out and quickly made their way to the Moon Pool for this was were the group would emerge.

They had just reached the pool when movements in the water signed the return of their men. And right the next second the group broke the surface. Lucas was still fighting violently against his friends. He struggled and tried to break free.

"Lucas, please calm down!" Ben shouted but it didn't help at all. Lucas began to scream shrilly. The tone he produced hurt in his friends ears. Among the screams were also some whistles as if Lucas was speaking like a dolphin. He tossed his head from side to side, trying to get away. It hurt Bridger to see his protégé like this.

"Captain, help us!" Commander Ford addressed Bridger as they pushed and pulled the struggling teenager to the edge of the pool. "I don't think we can hold him much longer."

"Bring him here!" Dr Westphalen ordered pulling out a syringe. "I'll give him a sedative to calm him. Otherwise he's going to hurt himself or one of us." The man brought Lucas to were the doctor and the Captain were standing and she injected the boy directly through his diving suit. Lucas struggled some more and kept on screaming. Then he whistled and automatically the vocoder sprang into action. It could only translate one word that Lucas repeated again and again.

"Mother! Mother!" It sounded through the room and even though the vocoder didn't give the word any special accenting or loudness it was clearly the sound of a fearful child shouting for his mother.

Finally the sedative began working and Lucas body went limb. Soon he was asleep, but even then his face seemed troubled and the trails of his tears could be seen.

Dr Westphalen felt her own tears on her cheeks at the sight of the young boy. He seemed so lost and helpless, tied up and held by three strong men.

"Let's take him to Med Bay." She said. "Is anybody of you hurt?"

The men shook their heads. "Not really, though he was kicking out really hard. We maybe got some bruises, nothing serious." Commander Ford said.

They heaved the sleeping boy out of the pool and Bridger lifted him up in his arms to carry him to Med Bay. To the Captain it seemed he had aged about ten years today.

* * *

Hours later Lucas still hadn't woken up. He was lying in a bed in Med Bay with his hands and feet tied to the beds frame. Captain Bridger sat at his side and watched the boys sleeping form. His sleep was troubled, he tossed and turned as far as his bonds would let him and mumbled in his sleep. Bridger could only make out a few words sounding like "No! No don't! Mother!"

Bridger turned to Chief Crocker who entered the room to look after his old friend and the young boy. Midnight had passed hours ago and the Captain still refused to leave Lucas.

"Chief, are those bonds really necessary?" he asked for about the twentieth time hoping to get a different answer this time.

"Hell, Cap, you know I hate this as much as you do! But I can't change it! We have to keep some security regulations. And there's a high chance that Lucas will try to escape or do something even more stupid when he wakes up."

Bridger sighed. He had been doing this a lot lately. "I know, I know, you're right Chief, sort of. But still I simply hate it!"

"Can I do anything else for you, Cap?"

"No, thank you. Go back to the Bridge now and tell the crew that Lucas's condition hasn't changed yet. Oh, and tell Krieg to come in. He's been sitting outside the Med Bay ever since Lucas was brought in here. He can as well come in..."

Crocker gave a short salute and after a last glance on Lucas left the room. Ben Krieg came in a few moments later, happy to be finally allowed to see Lucas. The boy had become one of Ben's best friends aboard the seaQuest. Ben regarded him almost as a younger brother. And now he was more than concerned after seeing Lucas's behavior. Ben stared at the boy a long time, his eyes lingering on the bonds that held the boy. Sighing he took a chair and set down on Lucas bedside at the opposite of Bridger. The two men were quiet for a very long time. Finally Ben spoke up:

"I can't believe we didn't know of... this. I mean, why didn't he tell us? Didn't he trust us? How could we not see this?" he asked.

"Lieutenant, you know Lucas as well as I do, I'd say; so you should know that Lucas isn't very open with his feelings or telling about himself. And if he didn't want us to find out about his past we would have almost no chance of doing so." Bridger paused. "But that's no real excuse. It's justified to say that here on the seaQuest I'm one of the closest people to Lucas, together with you and a few others. And today I had to discover that I'm hardly knowing anything about the boy really. Maybe..."

Bridger was interrupted as Lucas began to move again. He tossed his head from side to side and moaned.

"Lucas?" Ben asked hopefully and took his hand into his.

"Come on kiddo, it's time to wake up!" Bridger put a hand on the boy's shoulder.

Suddenly Lucas's eyes snapped open. His gaze was empty. He stared up and looked around in the room, trying to remember where he was and what he was doing here.

"Kiddo? Are you alright?"

Lucas tried to lift his left hand and found he couldn't do so. He looked at his hands and saw the bonds. That second everything came crashing back on him, all the events of the last few hours. Mother! He began to struggle and pulled on the bonds trying to get free. But the bond was too strong. Lucas started to panic; he wanted desperately to get away. He screamed shrilly and tossed from side to side.

Bridger and Krieg were shocked to see the boy's reaction. The Captain grabbed his shoulders and tried to hold him down and calm him, but in vain. Lucas only struggled even more. He was pulling on his bonds so hard that his wrists began to bleed.

"Call Dr Westphalen!" shouted to Krieg while he fought to kept Lucas from hurting himself any further. Krieg ran to the door shouting for the doctor.

"Doctor! Dr Westphalen! You must help us! Quickly! It's Lucas!"

Even with his hands and feet tied down Lucas put up a heavy fight. The Captain didn't see any option and in an attempt of waking the boy from his freaking state he slapped him across the face. This often helped people who were in shock or unconscious to come out of it. But Lucas only screamed even louder and fought harder to get away.

Only a few seconds later Kristen came rushing in and pushed past Krieg to Lucas's side. Her hair was ruffled and her clothes crumpled as she had fallen asleep sitting at the table in her bureau.

"What happened?" she asked taking the situation.

"I don't know! He woke up and started to scream and fight." The Captain responded still trying to calm Lucas.

Soon Kristen was sure that they wouldn't be able to calm him down. Afraid that he would hurt himself further she injected him more of the sedative she had given him earlier. Lucas struggled some more before off again.

Relived they let finally go off him.

"Shall I tell the crew of the Senior Staff, Sir?" Ben asked.

The Captain hesitated, then he nodded. "Yeah, tell them. I'll come to the Bridge in a few minutes, too. It's best if we set course and leave this area, I think."

Krieg left quietly. Bridger stood at the end of Lucas's bed and stared down on him. Could it really be? Was this really the young genius he had learned to respect for his brilliant mind and to love him for his gentle nature? The boy who had made fun of him when they had first met because he talked to Darwin using hand signs? The boy who played with mathematics that gave the Captain a headache by only seeing them? Could it really be that this boy, this normal teenage boy, had grown up living with dolphins in the ocean? That he called a dolphin mother and seemed to talk with them?

Bridger jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to face the doctor.

"You should get some sleep." She advised him.

"Soon... Kristin?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I did something very, very wrong." Bridger said staring at his hands.

"What?"

"I... I slapped Lucas..."

"WHAT? When? And why?" Dr Westphalen was shocked. This wasn't like the Bridger she knew to be so... so violent!

He sighed. "Just a few minutes ago. When Krieg was fetching you. I... I really thought it might help him to come out of it. But he only screamed even more. I feel terrible!"

"Well, I can't say that I approve what you did. But I do understand why did it. You didn't want to hurt him but to help him. It wasn't the wisest thing to do, but what is done is done. Stop torturing yourself and try to get some rest. You will need all your strength when we're dealing with the boy when sobered up."

"Aye, you're right, as usually. But before I try to sleep I'll go to the Bridge and set course." Bridger looked at Lucas a last time. The teenagers face was wet with tears, and even now that he was sleeping tears were forming under his lashes. Fighting hard to control his own feelings Bridger turned around and left the room.

* * *

By lunchtime the following day every member of the Bridge crew had made at least one short visit to look after Lucas. But the teenager hadn't woken up again, yet. Bridger was very reluctant to leave him, but he still had to captain a submarine.

Now Dr Westphalen was sitting in the boy's room watching over him while she was reading some of the reports that Commander Hitchcock had dug up about Lucas/Milan on her laptop. With everything she read her eyes became bigger and bigger. Obviously this Dr Beck had been more interested to learn how to communicate with dolphins rather than to educate Lucas – but with that she had had few success so far. It was only thanks to Sandy Orlev and Dr Beck's daughter that the boy had finally come in the care of the Wolenczak couple.

Dr Westphalen looked up when Lucas shifted his position, but he still seemed to be sound asleep. So she returned her attention to the reports.

When she sent a checking glance to the boy a few minutes later she was stunned: His eyes were wide open and he stared off into the distance. He didn't look at her nor moved he at all when the doctor slowly stood up from her seat. Automatically she reached for her PAL and called Bridger.

"Captain, please come to the Med Bay quickly. Lucas is awake."

This message brought quite some anxiety to the Bridge as everybody was eager to see if their young friend was alright. The Captain lifted his open hands in a gesture of silencing.

"Please calm down. I know you all want to see how Lucas is doing. But it would do him no good if the whole crew came rushing in on him. I promise I'll inform you of his condition as soon as possible. Commander Ford, you have the Bridge."

With that he left the Bridge, leaving Ben Krieg staring after him longingly. His ex-wife Katie Hitchcock walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder in a friendly gesture. She knew he was longing more than anybody else on the Bridge to see Lucas. "He'll be fine, Ben. You'll be able to visit him and make up new pranks with him soon enough." She promised him. Ben nodded gratefully and turned back to his terminal. When Hitchcock was walking back to her place she heard him whisper "Thanks, Katie." and she had to smile.

Back in Med Bay Kristen Westphalen was carefully stepping into Lucas's view as he still hadn't turned to her so far.

"Lucas?" she tried to keep her voice as calm and soft as possible. "Lucas, how are you feeling?"

He still didn't look at her directly. He seemed to be thinking of something.

"Lucas?" the doctor probed again. "Are you okay, honey?"

Lucas didn't look up. But suddenly he mumbled unexpectedly: "You're so much like them... So very much like them..."

Dr Westphalen was surprised by these words but nonetheless she was happy that he talked at all. So she tried to follow his trail of thoughts.

"Them... you mean Dr Elisabeth Beck and Sandy Orlev and the other people at the institute?" she asked trying to make him say more about what he meant.

Lucas looked up at her abruptly as if he had just woken up from a dream. He lifted his arms as high as possible in their tied state. His sore wrist were bandaged now but he was still tied to bed frame with broad leather straps.

"Why did you tie me down?" Lucas asked, changing the subject totally. "You aren't you afraid of me, now are you?"

"Ah..." Dr Westphalen struggled to find an answer that wouldn't hurt the boy's feelings to much. Maybe he didn't remember clearly what happened yesterday?

Bridger stopped outside the Med Bay to catch his breath. He had been running the whole way to get here as fast as possible. Now he tried to cool down a bit before he entered the room. He just heard Lucas question when he was about to step in. He stopped dead in his tracks. What were they about to tell him? 'Sorry kiddo, but you were a security risk?' Very sensitive!

"Well, Lucas, you see... ehm..." Dr Westphalen couldn't seem to find anything appropriate to say. So she was very relived when Bridger stepped in.

"Hey kiddo, how are you?" he asked in a forced light tone. He tried to smile encouragingly at Lucas – the heavy subjects would come soon enough. But the boy only stared at his bound hands and refused to look at the Captain or to answer his question.

"Why?" he asked quietly after some time. "Tell me why..."

Bridger guessed that he was still referring to the bonds that held him down. He sighed but decided to be honest nonetheless. "Well kiddo, listen; when you came in here you were lashing out and trying to hit everyone and everything that came near you. Do you remember?" Lucas showed no reaction to what he heard and so Bridger simply continued. "And then Chief Crocker said that you had to be tied down due to some security regulations. I'm truly sorry about that Lucas. But I h..."

"Why did you have me brought back to the seaQuest?" Lucas interrupted him in mid sentence. "Why? Why couldn't you leave me out there?" he accused them. His voice was monotone and he was still looking at his hands.

"Lucas, how could we have left you out there?" Kristen tried to reason the teenager. "First of all, we are responsible for you and you can't simply leave the seaQuest because you want to swim with some dolphins. You have some duties here aboard, too. And then, you would surely have died out there within a few days or even hours!" Had the doctor thought that her arguments would make Lucas understand their actions, she was surely proven wrong. Lucas jerked his head back and stared at the two adults in his room with a furious glare.

"What on earth brought you to the conclusion that I would die? I've been living in the ocean for more than nine years without any problems! Those were the best years of my life! It's just ever since you damn humans found me that my whole life basically sucks!" he shouted, his eyes flashed in anger.

Captain Bridger and Dr Westphalen were taken aback.

"Lucas, you can't be serious!" the old man asked unbelievingly. The boy just couldn't mean what he had said!

"I am totally serious!" he responded forcefully. "Ever since I've been living among humans I have been wishing that those helicopter team had never found me, that still could be with my family, could be happy! I hate all of you and I hate being human!" Then Lucas fell silent again and looked down. He hadn't wanted to let his anger take control over his actions react like this, hadn't wanted to show any feelings at all. If people know what you feel they can hurt you; he had learned that the hard way in his time he spent with the humans. They were so different from his family, the dolphins! Humans always seemed to only hurt each other – ironically because they didn't want to get hurt themselves. But, Lucas had to admit to himself, not all humans seemed to be like that. The friends he had made aboard the seaQuest seemed to really care about one another, to care about him, even though Lucas couldn't quite understand why. Actually the boy was sorry for yelling at Bridger and Dr Westphalen. He knew he might have truly hurt them and he didn't want to do that – first because he didn't want to be like all those other humans and then, and even more important, because he somehow loved them in a strange way. But it was too late now...

"Lucas..." Captain Bridger began but he fell silent again as he really didn't know what to say. Sadly he looked at the young boy and sighed.

Finally Dr Westphalen interrupted his musing and said in the best doctor tone she could find in this situation: "I think you should try to get some more rest, Lucas. We'll leave you alone for now."

When Lucas wouldn't acknowledge the said anyhow she took the Captain's forearm and slowly dragged him out of Med Bay. Lucas's bonds stayed attached.

The teenager sat alone in silence. There, it had happened again. His life was a total mess. This always seemed to happen to him when found a place or someone he liked to stay with. He had really enjoyed his life on the seaQuest: He had been 'normal' here. Well, as normal as a fifteen-year-old aboard a submarine could be. But now everything would change again, it already had. Lucas had seen it in the doctor's and the Captain's eyes: No longer was he Lucas, the computer genius and friend, but Milan-Lucas, the dolphin-boy who was only worth for making researches on him and his behavior.

Lucas heard a strange sound and it was only after a few moments that he recognized it as his own sobs and he felt the hot tears on his cheeks. Damn, he hated to cry when anybody could walk in on him and see him like that. Nobody sees a dolphin's tears. But then, it didn't matter anymore he mused; nothing mattered anymore.

Captain Bridger and Dr Westphalen sat in the MagLev on their way to the bridge.

"What are we going to do now, Nathan?" The doctor asked him quietly.

He sighed and put his head into his hands. "Honestly, I don't know..." he murmured. "I guess I have to inform Admiral Noyce and see what the UEO has to say to this. And we'll have to tell the crew, or at least the Senior Staff. Would you assemble them in the ward room? They need to know about this."

Dr Westphalen nodded and then left the MagLev when it came to halt in the direction of the bridge while Bridger made his way directly to the ward room. There he heavily sat down on a chair and heaved a deep sigh. An aggressive headache had begun throbbing in his head, caused by the intensive worrying about Lucas and the situation at hand. Bridger massaged his temples trying to concentrate on the task that lay ahead of him.

Soon the members of the Senior Staff entered the ward room. Their last meeting had been only a day earlier but to the Captain it seemed like it lay years behind them. So much had changed in this short time for them.

They sat down quietly. Everybody's gaze wandered to the empty chair where Lucas had sat just yesterday. Nobody said a word for a long time, simply looking at the Captain. The old man knew he should tell them how Lucas was and what he had told them, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Finally Ben couldn't stand the tension any longer and voiced everybody's question. "Captain...? How,... how is Lucas?" Various silent sighs of relief that the silence was broken were heard. And everybody turned to the Captain expectantly again.

He sighed deeply before he spoke up. "Not so good, I'm afraid." As the crew drew simultaneous breaths he continued. "Physically he's doing fine, I can assure you. But, somehow he's no longer the Lucas we knew." And he told them what happened in Med Bay when they went looking for the boy.

When he was finished the men and women remained silent. Next Dr Westphalen told them what she had read in the reports about Milan – no, Lucas. How he had lived in the institute, watched by doctors, scientist and people of the government. How they had tested him time and time again in order to find out how he communicated with the dolphins. How he had been educated. And finally how Sandy Orlev and Justine Beck had managed to get him into a 'normal' family. Which in turn had made him go on a submarine after a few years – the seaQuest. The doctor then pushed a few buttons and a vid began playing on the big screen. It showed a woman of about forty years in a white coat and a boy of about ten years; Dr Beck and Lucas.

Dr Beck was showing pictures to Lucas. She showed him the picture of a boy and asked: "What is that?" Lucas didn't say a word. "Milan, what is that?"

"Boy." He answered.

"Good. Good, Milan. What is that?" She showed him the picture of a girl. "What is that?"

"Girl."

Dr Beck showed another picture, a picture of a dolphin. "What is that, Milan?"

Lucas grew agitated. He said: "Dolphin, dolphin! Dolphin good, dolphin good!"

"Very good, Milan. Now tell me. What are you? A boy or a dolphin?"

Lucas showed one of the pictures. The one of the dolphin. "Dolphin."

Dr Beck said: "No, Milan." He held up a mirror, reflecting Lucas's face. "Now, Milan. Tell me, what are you? A boy or a dolphin?"

Lucas looked into the mirror. He looked at the picture. Quietly he said "Boy."

Dr Beck smiled. "Yes, boy. Good, Milan. You are a boy."

Lucas didn't smile. He looked at the picture of the dolphin. His eyes were distant and sad. _Boy._

The vid ended. Nearly no eye in the ward room had remained dry.

Captain Bridger took some deep breaths to gather his strength before he spoke again. "So, that's all so far. To be honest, I don't know what we do now. I'm going to call Admiral Noyce. But for now I must recommend that you try to treat Lucas as normal as possible. He's quite tense right now as you can possibly imagine."

That was too much; Ben burst out. "Treat him normally?" he almost shouted. "How shall we be able to do that? I mean... everything's changed!"

"He's right, Sir." Hitchcock agreed. Most of the assembled members nodded affirmative.

Bridger sighed; had he done anything else during the last day? "I know it's hard. But we have to try and not make it any worse. I have nothing else to say. Dismissed." Slowly the officers got up and left the room talking quietly. Only Ben Krieg stayed behind. "Can I see him, Sir?" he asked, almost pleadingly.

"Kristen?"

"Okay. But promise me, if he's asleep not to wake him."

"Aye, doctor!" with that Ben took off and hurried to the Med Bay.

Half an hour later after drinking a much needed cup of very strong, very black coffee, Dr Westphalen found him standing in the room at Lucas side, staring down at the sleeping boy. Ben seemed to be deep in thoughts. The doctor gently put a hand on his shoulder but still he jumped.

"Get some rest." She advised him. "You need it."

After a last look at Lucas pale form the man obeyed wordlessly. His shoulders were slumped and his head hung down.

Dr Westphalen took a seat next to Lucas's bed and began reading some more of the reports on Lucas from the institute. Soon she was so deep in concentration that she didn't notice what was going on around her. She didn't hear as Lucas began to shift lightly in his bed and she didn't see him slowly opening his eyes.

For a moment Lucas had to remember why he was in Med Bay and what had happened. But then everything came back to him, the whole nightmare that was his life. Lucas sighed inwardly. He noticed Dr Westphalen sitting next to him. So he could as well try and get some sort of 'regular' life back; even though deep down inside he knew nothing would ever be normal again probably...

"Let me go." The voice was not very loud and totally calm but it startled Dr Westphalen nonetheless. She jumped up, dropping the laptop to the floor, not having expected Lucas to wake up so soon.

"Let me go." He demanded again in a small voice, his gaze meeting hers directly.

"What?!" She exclaimed unbelievingly. He couldn't have said what she'd just heard.

"You heard me. Let me go." Lucas repeated. Dr Westphalen sighed sitting down and pulled the chair closer to the teenager. How could she make him understand?

"Lucas, I can't..."

"Look, knowing the UEO and Captain Bridger in particular, I assume that the seaQuest left the area of the Cay Sal Bank and is headed as far away as humanly possible. And I'm not so stupid to try to escape again and swim all the way back, only to be caught and brought back again. I know I'm stuck here until someone decides to place me somewhere else. But until this inevitable thing happens you could take these bonds off of me and let me get back to work." Lucas said, showing only capitulation at his situation. Dr Westphalen understood that he meant every word he had said – he was sure that they would also dump him sooner or later. The realization of how Lucas really thought about them hurt. The doctor tried to find an answer, tried to contradict him. But she found she couldn't stand to look in his eyes. Those deep, blue pools that spoke of trust and betrayal, anger and fear at the same time. She simply couldn't find the strength to look into the eyes of the very boy, she had been working with almost everyday for months without knowing the most important fact in his young life. For her, this wasn't Lucas anymore, this was a stranger to her.

"I... I'm going to ask Captain Bridger..." She practically fled from the room.

Lucas looked at his hands. He had seen it. It had been only for a brief second, but it had been enough. He had seen it in her eyes. The look. The way people used to look at him then. The way they used to look at what he was, not who. He had hated it ever since. And now Dr Westphalen wore that look. That mixture or curiosity, interest and pity. He hated it. But still he knew he would have to get used to it again. Get used to the look, the way people talked to him, treated him, observed what he was doing.

Lucas sighed and tried to prepare himself for it when they would come back.

And come back they did.


	2. Chapter 2

Lucas dropped to his bed like a stone. During the last hour it had taken all of his self-control not to explode and snap at everyone. Or to break into tears about the way they treated him.

Dr Westphalen had come back with Captain Bridger and Lucas had repeated his demand of being let back to work. The Captain had given him a look, as if he, Lucas, had gone nuts. After staring at him for almost five minutes without saying a word, the Captain had said he would go and check with Chief Crocker to see if it was okay. Security regulations, Lucas had to understand, he said. So the Captain left. Dr Westphalen had stayed behind and gave him a lecture about taking it easy the next few days. Then she had asked Lucas if he was up to a few tests, she wanted to run on him within the next days. She had been quite happy that he had simply nodded – however, she hadn't seen him clenching his hands so hard that it left the marks of his fingernails in his palms. Ten minutes later Captain Bridger had returned with Chief Crocker and another Security Officer. The Officer didn't take his hand off the weapon on his side while the Chief was taking the bonds off Lucas's hands – a fact that did not go unnoticed by him. Next they had given him some encouraging words and the Captain repeated Dr Westphalen's order to take it easy and do not worry, etc. Lucas had stared at his feet during the whole procedure not paying attention at all. When he was finally allowed to leave he had dashed off, not looking left or right until he had reached his room.

And now he was back. Lucas looked around in his room. Nothing had been moved or changed since he left it what felt like a century ago. In reality it had been only a day and a half. It was late, eleven o'clock in the evening, but the teenager didn't feel like sleeping. So he stood up and began rummaging through the box that held his music discs. After some searching he found what he was looking for on the very bottom: Half a dozen discs with well-worn covers. Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Wagner. Actually he had always preferred Classical Music. But Justine had told him if he wanted to be taken as a regular boy, a regular teenager, he had to despise those and listen to Heavy Metal, Rock, Grunge etc, and as loud as possible. 'It's better to keep up the right facade for the adults' she had said. So Lucas slipped a Heavy Metal disc into the player and made sure it was loud enough to be heard through the locked door. Then he took his Disc Man, put on his head-phones and let the soft symphonies of Mozart calm his mind. The coming times would be hard enough for him. Eventually he drifted off to sleep.

But Lucas didn't find much rest during that night. His dreams were haunted and he tossed and turned all the time. He dreamt of his family, his true family the dolphins, about swimming in the ocean, feeling his mother's snout on his skin. And he heard their screams when the Commander's ultra sound had hit their sensitive ears. Several times Lucas woke up, bathed in cold sweat during that night.

At half past five he got up, deciding that he wouldn't find any more sleep and might as well do something useful. So he started working on the new Security System for Chief Crocker he had made up a few days earlier.

By nine o'clock his stomach had started grumbling so loud that Lucas couldn't ignore it any longer. So he decided to head for the cafeteria and grab some breakfast before returning to work. He had made good progress this morning and was consequently quite content.

When he rounded the last corner and stood outside the cafeteria he could hear parts of the low conversations inside.

"Lucas..."

"...just imagine..."

"... living with dolphins..."

"...tried to leave..."

"...Milan..."

"...institute for wolf's children..."

Lucas's breath fled from him as if someone had punched him into the stomach. He had known it! Here we go again! Realizing that he couldn't hide in his quarters for the rest of the tour (though he truly wished he could!) he decided that he could as well take the whole dose at once. His face became a mask of stone, he wouldn't let any of his emotions slip out now. The second he entered, the room went totally silent. The conversations – all of them most likely about him – stopped abruptly, the men and women turned their heads, all eyes were focused on him, like on an animal in the zoo. Suddenly Lucas found it very hard to breathe properly. However, he kept his eyes fixed forward and didn't look left or right. He clenched his fist at his side and bit his lower lip so hard that it hurt. Mechanically he walked to the table that held the fruits and grabbed an apple. He didn't even take the time to get some coffee, his favorite breakfast, only wanting to get out again. When Lucas turned around his gaze brushed across Hitchcock, O'Neil and Otiz sitting at a table in the corner. They too were silent. The moment Lucas looked at them Hitchcock started to speak. "Lucas..." her voice was barely above a whisper. But Lucas turned away and practically fled from the room.

When he had disappeared the discussions rose again, however, in a quieter way this time. Hitchcock stared angrily at the people in the room and jumped up, slamming her fist onto the table.

"What the hell do you think were you doing?" she addressed everybody in the room. "Truly, the UEO's finest! The boy has enough at his hands right now! Treating him like a freak won't help him! The next time you see him I expect you to react with a little more sensitivity!" With that she stormed out of the room, leaving half of her breakfast untouched. She was too angry to eat now! Maybe half an hour at the punching bag would cool her down...

An hour later Lucas came down to the Moon Pool area, having finally gained some control of his emotions again – at least to the point were he wouldn't burst into tears at the next pitiful look he received.

So he began working on the vocoder project. He used taped sounds of different dolphins to test the new improvement. But he couldn't seem to concentrate like he used to. Hours of work passed on a task of which he knew should have taken him about half of the time than it did now that things weren't normal. Now his thoughts were less focused and fleeing when he tried to grasp them. The fact that he felt the science staff's gaze on his back didn't help much either. Whenever he turned to the computers he felt them tense as if he was going to blow the ship up at any second. Several times Lucas was on the verge of snapping at one of them. Yet the fifteen-year-old controlled his own anger, telling himself that it wouldn't help him if they locked him up as a psychopath.

It was mid-afternoon when Dr Westphalen came in and called Lucas over to her. Lucas had skipped lunch, not wanting to face the crew's glares yet again. The doctor made him look at the samples she had shown him a few days earlier again. While Lucas was looking through the microscope he felt her eye him critically, like a patient with a terrible illness. Having had enough of it for the whole day Lucas straightened up slowly and asked her annoyed, looking straight ahead: "WHAT?"

Dr Westphalen was startled. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Why are you staring at me like I'm an alien? You and the rest of the crew have been treating me like a bomb that is going to explode any second! I'm not going to destroy the ship when I touch a computer and I know how to use a pen properly!" His voice had risen during his angry words.

"Lucas..." Dr Westphalen searched for the right words. "We're not treating you any different. You're just a little tense..."

"I'm not TENSE!" he shouted.

"Hey, no need to get rude!" Captain Bridger ordered coming in as he had overheard the conversation. "What's the problem, kiddo?"

Lucas heaved a breath. "The problem is that you all are treating me like some sort of invalid or idiot, ever since... this happened!"

"Now, kiddo. Nobody's treating you like an invalid. It's just..."

The boy snorted. "We both know that that's a total lie! And you're the best example!"

"What do you mean?"

"When I got released from Med Bay you just told me to take it easy. Would you have done that too if I had run off to see a couple of friends of mine just like that, 'endangering' my life? No, you would have grounded me for the rest of the tour! And now?! 'Just take it easy for a while, kiddo'," Lucas imitated the Captain's tone, his voice stung with sarcasm.

Bridger had to admit to himself that the boy had a point there. Still he stood his ground.

"Lucas, even if our treatment has changed a little that doesn't give you the right to snap at people that surround you and care for you!"

"What's the matter if I do? You already think I'm nuts... And what would you do? Lock me in my room? I think I'd be grateful for that right now!"

Bridger really had to hold back his temper by now. Lucas knew which strings he had to pull to get him mad. And the Captain suspected he was trying right that at this moment. Luckily Dr Westphalen took over for him, using her best don't-contradict-me-I'm-the-doctor-voice.

"No, young man, nobody will lock you anywhere – that's for now – but you will cool down and come with me to the cafeteria now and have a decent meal. Don't you try to lie at me, I know you haven't eaten anything since breakfast!" And despite Lucas's struggle and excuses she dragged him with her to the cafeteria.

To Lucas's luck it was nearly empty at this time, only three or four people were sitting at the tables. Ben Krieg was one of them. Dr Westphalen more pushed than led him to the table were the Supply and Moral Officer was seated and made Lucas sit down. Then she went to fetch some food for him – only healthy, tasteless stuff, Lucas was willing to bet. He stared at his hands.

"Hey, Luke. How are you?" Ben asked, feeling quite uncomfortable in the situation. He wished heartily that Katie was here now. His ex-wife would surely know what to say.

Lucas gave a snort. "What do you think?" he asked wryly. "The doc just ordered me to eat what she's picking for me and I'm in for another proper-eating-habits-speech..."

"Ouch!"

"You're telling me..." They fell silent again as Dr Westphalen came back and placed a full plate in front of Lucas. He eyed his meal critically: A glass of orange juice, a whole lot of vegetables and... fish. The doctor seemed to have a certain sense of irony. Lucas slowly picked up his fork and began stabbing his food, painfully aware of the hawk-like glare that the doctor gave him.

"It's there for eating, not playing with it, you know!" she told him firmly.

Lucas sighed inwardly and lifted the fork with a small piece of fish to his mouth. Dead fish.

_They gave me dead fish to eat. They say I'm making progress. Making progress is when I wear clothes, and sleep in a bed and eat dead fish._

Dead fish. Lucas was about to eat the piece when Dr Westphalen's PAL chirped. He put the fork down when she answered her PAL.

"What is it?" – "An emergency in Med Bay. Shepherd broke his leg. It looks pretty bad." – "I'm coming."

She shut the PAL off and stared at Lucas, then at Ben. Finally making a decision she addressed Ben:

"Lieutenant, would you please see that he is truly eating his meal? I have to go..."

"No problem, Doctor." Ben agreed. With a last look at Lucas that said eat , she left the room quickly.

Lucas sighed relieved and pushed the untouched plate away.

"You should eat this, you know." Ben said.

"Ben, look, I'm really not hungry. Please don't become like the doc... I don't want to eat this stuff..."

The man nodded looking at the plate. "To be honest I wouldn't be too keen on that kind of food, too." He admitted. "Let's make a deal: You drink that juice of yours while I'm drinking the rest of this stuff they call coffee and then we'll let the contents of your plate disappear discreetly."

"Thanks, man!"

They sat in an awkward silence for a while, sipping on their drinks from time to time and avoiding each other's eyes. Finally Lucas couldn't stand it any longer and blurted out:

"Okay, Ben, enough of this. Just come out with it!"

"Huh?!" The Lieutenant didn't understand his friend immediately.

"The questions that have been burning in your brain ever since... Just ask what you so desperately want to know. It's not like I'm going to break down or like you would find a question that I haven't heard before... Just ask whatever you want to know. I'll try to answer you honestly, I promise."

Ben looked at his hands. Was he so easy to read? Yes, he had been aching to get answers to at least some of his questions. But he didn't want by any means to hurt his young friend. But then like Lucas had said, he wouldn't break. Summing up all his guts Ben looked directly into Lucas eyes and asked: "What... what does it feel like to... you know... to live out in the ocean?" God, this sounded so stupid now that he had actually voiced it. Ben wanted to apologize for it, but Lucas already answered, looking to the side.

"How am I to answer this?" he asked in a quiet voice. "What would you tell me, if I asked you, what it was like to be normal human?" Lucas finally looked up. "You could talk all day long, tell me a thousand little details, but still, it wouldn't be anywhere near complete. Do you understand what I mean?" Ben nodded hesitantly. "There are days when there is rain, there are days when there is wind. On some days there is nothing to drink. On some days there is nothing to eat. But the dolphins are always together."

Ben nodded again. "I think, I understand now; or at least to a certain point."

They fell silent again. The few people that had been in the room had trailed out. They were totally alone and sat in silence. A strained silence, but less painful than before. Then Lucas stood up, having emptied his glass.

"I would like to go now. See how the new program I installed works..." With that he walked slowly towards the door, leaving Ben alone at the table. When he had reached the door Lucas half turned around, looking back to his friend. "Oh, and Ben..." his voice was barely audible. "... thanks..." With that he left the older man alone in both the room and his thoughts.

"...and that's it so far. Now what am I to do, Bill?" Nathan Bridger finished his report to his superior and friend. Of course they were talking about Lucas. Bridger had told Admiral Noyce everything that had happened during the last few days searching for advice.

"I don't know it, Nathan. Never in my whole career have I encountered something like this before. But then, who has? My advice would be to treat the boy as normal as possible as long as there is no direct problem. But it could become a problem, as to whether he may stay on the seaQuest... I'll be seeing the UEO leaders as soon as possible about this."

"Yes, Bill, but why wasn't there anything about it in his files? It's not like it is normal to hold back such information!" the Captain exclaimed.

"He most likely altered his personal files before he came aboard the seaQuest; I mean he tried to do the same thing just a few days ago. So I'd say he didn't want anybody to know... Well, I'll try to find out about that, too. For now you'll have to be patient, Nathan. I'll be staying in touch. And Nathan... take care of the boy and watch out for him..."

"That I'll surely do, Bill..." Bridger said shutting off the line. "That I'll do..."

Lucas stared at the screen in front of him. Numbers and letters were flashing in front of his eyes. And he knew they meant something, something important, he was sure of it. But he couldn't put his finger on what it was and that frustrated him to no end. His mind seemed empty. There had been a time when things like this were nothing but a game to him. But now things were different. His knowledge seemed to fade away with every passing moment and he felt so restless. Sighing the teenager gave up and flicked the computer off. Maybe he needed to relax a little bit, he decided. So he got up and headed for the Moon Pool to see Darwin. It was only with the dolphin near him that he could find the release he needed.

Darwin surfaced the second Lucas stepped to the side of the pool, as if he had sensed the boy's arrival; well Lucas was quite sure he had sensed him – they shared a special bond in a way. *We are of the same kind...* Lucas thought. But then he mentally corrected himself – they weren't the same. Darwin was a dolphin and he was a boy. They had told him so often enough. Boy. How he hated the word.

The area was empty, it was dinnertime and so most people were in the cafeteria. Lucas bent down and stroked the dolphin's bump gently. His sleeves were becoming soaked, but he didn't mind, he never minded the water. He hadn't turned on the vocoder, he didn't need it. It was enough to feel Darwin's presence to calm him. Lucas produced some strange sounds in the back of his throat and in his nose. Darwin whistled an answer in delight.

Suddenly he gave a sharp sound. Lucas turned to see Bridger enter the room and he unconsciously took a step back, closer to Darwin.

"You two understand each other without words, don't you?" Bridger asked, stepping next to Lucas and stroked the dolphin's bump. Lucas wasn't totally sure if the man had addressed him or the animal. Lucas's tension slowly eased when he saw how gentle the older man treated the dolphin, he knew there was no need to be afraid of the Captain. But he also didn't see any need to try and answer this rhetorical question. He knew the Captain was here for a certain purpose and sooner or later would come out with it. So Lucas sat down on the stairs next to the pool and watched the man intently.

Captain Bridger inwardly sighed. Lucas was reading him like an open book, and the boy knew he hadn't come here by chance. He knew the older man too well. There had been a time when Bridger had been able to understand the teenager just like that, to predict his reactions and feelings. But now he didn't understand him anymore. At least he couldn't be sure of it any longer.

Captain Bridger straightened up and turned to face Lucas. He studied the boy's features intently: He was pale, even paler than usually, his face was like a mask of stone, not showing any emotions. But his eyes gave him away – those deep blue pools, with a slight shade of gray in them that Bridger hadn't noticed before, that spoke of so much and yet were so hard to understand; sadness, hope, despair, trust, betrayal, fear, hardness, kindness, all together were reflecting there. The Captain had to shake it off before he'd drown in those eyes. Eyes that stared at him, yet didn't seem to see him, but to look right through him.

Then the old man cleared his throat breaking the silence between them. "How are you doing, kiddo?" Hell, this was so hard! How did Bill imagine treating Lucas normally? "Did you already have dinner?" Really a great start for a conversation, Nathan! He cursed inwardly. He knew he had to try and get through to Lucas, to restore their relationship.

Lucas shook his head slowly. "I'm not hungry..." he said in a very quiet voice.

Bridger nodded. "I guess I can understand that, after the forced meal Kristin ordered you this afternoon." Then there was silence again. Bridger was biting his tongue; this was so difficult! He didn't know how to act around Lucas anymore. He had always considered himself as an expert in moody-teenager-problems, having raised Robert without problems. Well obviously you never know what you're truly worth until you are really tested.

After a few minutes in awkward silence Bridger made another attempt with a direct approach. "Do you want to talk about anything?"

"No." Lucas was staring at the surface of the pool. Darwin surfaced and gave some whistles and clicks before he dove again and swam out. "I would like to go now..." He said, his voice staying quiet and monotone all the time.

"Of course, kiddo. Go and rest." The Captain stepped a little aside to let Lucas pass by. "But you know, Lucas, if you want to talk to someone, you can always count on me. Be it day or night, okay?" The boy didn't turn to look back at him. He only gave the slightest nod when he left the area, with his shoulders slumped in and his head hanging down.

As soon as he was out of the room, Bridger sighed deeply. "Yeah, treat him normally... but how Bill?" he murmured to himself.

Lucas sat in his room, his back against a wall, staring at the aqua tubes. He had switched the lights off and music was playing softly in the background. "Soft" at least concerning the volume; the sound was a mix of Rock and Heavy Metal. It was true, he liked the soft tunes of Beethoven better, but he had found truth in the harsh plays and screams of musicians like Marilyn Manson. Because the world wasn't as happy and beautiful as all those love songs claimed it to be, not at all. It was dark and cruel.

Lucas didn't know how long he had exactly been sitting here, but he guessed it had to be about ten o'clock now. Then there was a metallic knock and the door swung open even before Lucas had completely finished his questioning "Yeah?"

Ben stood in the doorframe, staring into the dark room which was only lit dimly by the bluish light reflecting from the aqua tubes and now also by the light coming from the corridor. The Lieutenant switched the light on and came down the pair of stairs leading down into the room. Lucas had to blink, his eyes adjusting to the new amount of light. Ben tried to look as casual as possible and cracked one of his usual jokes.

"It's nice that you are willing to help and economize electricity by switching off the light; but it isn't necessary, you know..." Lucas didn't bother to give an answer to this, but Ben hadn't expected it anyway. However, the boy didn't even growl or roll his eyes, like he used to do in response to Ben's jokes, which was a bad sign, Ben could tell. Lucas looked at him intently for a moment before returning his attention to the aqua tubes. But the older man wouldn't give in so easily; not he, Benjamin Krieg, Supply and Moral Officer of the seaQuest! He took another step towards the kid.

"Enough brooding for today, Luke!" he declared. "I've got something that is going to make you smile again!"

"Ben, look, I'm not interested in any new ideas of yours to become rich or to tick off the Commander or both." He responded weakly, his voice showing no affection at all. "Just... leave me alone, will you please?"

"Nah, it's none of those. While teasing the Commander again would be fun... it's not what I'm here for now. I've got this for you..." Ben said and handed him a small package. He had intended to give it to the boy at his sixteenth birthday in a month and a half, but he had found that the present situation required some extraordinary actions. Lucas eyed the small object in his hands; it had about the size of his palm and was quite light. When he took the wrapping off carefully he discovered a small computer chip.

Ben began immediately to explain it. "It's a chip to modify your computer. The man who sold it to me said installed correctly it could double the efficiency of a computer! Now, is this great or is this great, what do you say?"

Lucas stared at the object at his hands. There had been a time, when he would have done anything to get this, when he would have jumped in pure joy after receiving a present like this. But now it didn't matter anymore to him. He wasn't even sure if he knew how to use it properly. And there were surely no instructions to it. Then Lucas realized that Ben was expecting a reaction to his gift, an answer.

"Thanks, man. I... I really appreciate this. It must have cost you a little fortune. Thank you..." he put on a forced smile, which didn't reach his eyes. Ben was relieved to see the boy smile at all again.

"You're welcome, Lucas. So, you want to test it immediately? See if that guy was right?"

Lucas smile faded. "No. Er... I'm sorry to disappoint you Ben, but... I'm really tired... you understand?" he asked quietly.

Ben had to suppress a sigh. He had thought he had really reached the boy, brought back his old self! "Sure, buddy. It's okay. So, see you tomorrow?" Lucas nodded. So the man turned to leave the room.

He had just reached the door when Lucas voice stopped him. "Ben?" He turned around. Lucas was staring at the chip again.

"Do you pity me?" he asked silently. Then he looked up, meeting Ben's gaze. "Because I don't want any pity... I'm no caritas case!"

"No," the Lieutenant agreed. "you're not a caritas case. And I don't pity you. But you are my friend, Lucas, and I care for you. As do all your friends among the crew. And that bunch of idiots that unfortunately exists who pity you aren't of any importance. What is important, are your friends, Lucas. And as such, I care for you – never believe anything else!"

Lucas didn't respond. But on his face Ben could now see the smallest smile. Satisfied he walked out of the room. And when he closed the door, he heard a silent "Thank you, Ben." emerging from the room, just before the lock snapped closed.

"You're welcome, Lucas." Ben muttered to himself. "You're welcome!"


	3. Chapter 3

It was past midday when Lucas made his way to the labs. He had awoken around nine and now felt somewhat groggy, having fallen asleep at about half past four in the morning. He had been 'brooding', like Ben would so gracefully call it, since he woke and consequently skipped breakfast. However, he wasn't intending to go to the mess now and have lunch; on the contrary, the mere thought of food made him sick.

Feeling too bored to brood any longer, the fifteen-year-old had decided to go to his work and clinch to the small hope of escaping Dr Westphalen's wrath should she find out that he had skipped two more meals.

The fact that he was more than four hours late for his shift in the lab didn't bother Lucas very much. He was fairly sure that nobody would be angry with him; he even doubted that someone would make a comment about him being late at all. The only thing that was waiting for him were some more surreptitious glances of pity and he guessed he could deal with those rather than with another five hours of brooding.

Lucas was well aware that he hadn't been to the Bridge ever since... the incident (even in his mind he wasn't able to call it anything else). But then, he was most likely not too welcome there anymore, he mused. Security regulations, he had to understand. Weren't there always security regulations, wherever he went?

The second he entered the labor area Lucas's thoughts were abruptly interrupted as he bumped right into... Dr Westphalen. He groaned inwardly; must be one of those days.

"Ah... err, hello Doctor." He managed to stutter.

"Lucas!" the woman's face lit up. "I'm glad you're here. I was going to call you on your PAL in a few minutes. You remember the tests I wanted to run on you? I would like to start today, if you don't mind."

"Sure, whatever..." Lucas mumbled. His mood had just gone into the cellar.

"Good." The doctor was already making plans about what order to make the tests in. She eyed Lucas critically. "I assume you didn't have lunch so far?" Lucas's guilty look was enough of a response for her; she hadn't expected anything else. "Well, for one time that is a good thing because I want to take some blood samples. And for that you need to have an empty stomach, otherwise it would influence the results. But when we're done I want you to go to the mess and have a decent meal, Lucas!"

Lucas only nodded quietly, looking anywhere but at the doctor herself. He followed her to Med Bay and let the whole procedure wash over him without resistance. He sat wherever Dr Westphalen wanted him to sit, had his blood taken, his lymph knots palpated, his eyes and ears checked through and many other things, everything without making a face or showing any affection at all.

Dr Westphalen was talking all the time, first about the tests, then about the current research they were doing, trying to make a conversation. But Lucas didn't react to it, he only responded when he was asked directly and even then his answers mostly consisted of 'yes', 'no' and 'I don't know'.

It was only when they were finally done that Lucas asked something. He was glancing into the direction of the Moon Pool.

"I... I would like... to go swimming with Darwin for a while. Can... can I?" he asked almost shyly.

The woman eyed him critically; she knew she shouldn't allow him to do so, not before he had had something to eat. But then the boy looked directly into her eyes, for the first time in the day, and her heart practically melted. He looked so much like a young, lost child who had lost his mother and asked people if they had seen her. His grayish-blue eyes nearly begged her to let him go. She gulped and nodded hesitantly.

"Okay, Lucas." She said. "But you cannot go alone. It's too dangerous. You might become dizzy after blood taking, and I don't want anything to happen to you. I'll accompany you."

The look that the teenager gave her was less than friendly, however, he didn't contradict her. He was happy enough to be allowed to go swimming at all.

They went to change into wet suits. Lucas was at the side of the Moon Pool and greeted Darwin even before Dr Westphalen was half finished with changing and pinning her hair up. Darwin whistled and clicked happily, content to have some company to play with. The doctor watched from a distance how the boy climbed quickly into the pool, where he took one deep breath and immediately began diving. He and the dolphin were diving in circles around one another, gliding up and down in the water. Dr Westphalen had to admire Lucas's smooth movements. She had never noticed, how graceful and skilful he was able to move underwater; the almost acrobatic tricks and turns he did with ease and a smile on his lips held an undeniable elegance.   
Then Dr Westphalen finally climbed into the pool and found that even dressed in wet suits the water was almost freezing; a fact that Lucas didn't seem to mind a bit. She gasped at the coldness that was shocking her warm body and made goose bumps run up her arms and legs. Right that second Lucas surfaced again and took a deep breath, followed closely by Darwin. It was only then that the doctor noticed how long the boy had been holding his breath underwater. She was about to say something about it, but Lucas had gently taken hold of his playmate's dorsal fin and they dove again. The dolphin pulled him with a breathtaking speed to the deeper part of the pool. The doctor was about to follow the pair when she realized that the vocoder wasn't turned on – maybe Lucas had forgotten it in his haste.   
So she swam back to the side and switched it on. When she returned her attention to Lucas and Darwin she spotted them nearly at the other side of pool: Lucas was clinching to Darwin and had rested his head on the dolphin's flank. He was breathing heavily and had closed his eyes.   
Dr Westphalen quickly made her way over to them. When she was only a few meters away she could hear Darwin's whistles, which sounded concerned, a surprise for her for she hadn't thought that you could hear emotions like concern in the whistle of a dolphin. But what really amazed her, were the sounds that Lucas gave back, coming from the back of his throat and his nose. Slowly she closed the short distance that was left between them. Lucas straightened in the water when he became aware of her presence.

"Lucas, are you alright?" the woman asked in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just felt dizzy for a brief moment..." he answered stroking the dolphin's back gently.

She eyed him intently: He was very pale and his eyes were glassy. His hands were constantly touching the dolphin, clinging to him or stroking him. The doctor knew, she should order him to leave the pool now, but curiosity won the better of her and so she asked instead:

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?" Lucas asked surprised.

Dr Westphalen snorted impatiently. "You know what I mean!" she said and tried to swim closer to the boy. But wherever she turned to, Darwin always moved so that he blocked her way and was between her and Lucas. Almost as if he was protecting the boy from her, she mused. But she pushed the thought away immediately – why should Darwin try and protect Lucas from her? It wasn't like she was going to harm him anyhow.

"How do you make these sounds? I can't even imitate them anywhere near real! And does Darwin understand them? Can you really talk to him? How do you do that?"

Lucas face became a mask of stone. Why did people always have to ask these things? Maybe he could explain it to the doctor like he did with Ben? Maybe she would understand...

"Tell me, how do you talk? How do you form the words you speak?"

"Huh? Well,... oh what the heck! Lucas! It has got nothing to do with this! And now tell me how do you do it?" Dr Westphalen didn't understand what the teenager was trying to show her: That he couldn't explain how he communicated with Darwin.

"I... I cannot tell you..." Lucas answered in a very quiet voice. "Why do you need to know anyway?"

"But can't you see?" The doctor's eyes were glowing in excitement. "This could change everything! We would finally be able to really talk to animals! Interspecies communication!" Her mind was racing, thinking about the possibilities.

"But... but you have the vocoder! Isn't it enough for you?"

"Not anymore!" She exclaimed. Lucas suddenly felt sick; he only hoped that the terror and disappointment he felt didn't show on his face. But Dr Westphalen wouldn't have noticed anyway.

"I know that the vocoder is a great invention, Lucas." She said. "But this makes everything different. Just imagine, maybe we could really learn how to communicate with other species."

Lucas wanted to scream. He felt like he had a déjà-vu, like he was back at the institute with Dr Beck.

Dr Westphalen noticed nothing of this. She was just about to ask him more questions when a member of the science staff called her from the side of the pool.

"Dr Westphalen! There is a call for you! The man said it was very important!"

"What? Oh, okay, one moment please!" She answered and returned her attention to Lucas. "Please wait a moment. I'll be right back!" With that she made her way out of the water to answer the vid-call, slightly annoyed about the interruption.

As it showed, the call hadn't been that important at all, just a befriended professor of her who had wanted to give her the latest results of his research. However, when Dr Westphalen returned to the Moon Pool Lucas was gone.

Surprised she turned to Darwin who was surfacing near her.

"Darwin, where is Lucas?" She demanded, using the vocoder.

"Lucas gone." came the obvious reply.

"I can see that. But why did he go? I told him to wait for me!"

The dolphin gave a blow of annoyance and shot a blast of spray all over the doctor.

"Hey! What was that for?" she demanded stunned by the animals outburst.

"Doctor no friend! Make Lucas upset! Lucas leave." Darwin retorted and then dove out of the area, leaving Dr Westphalen behind.

So she went to look for Lucas by herself. First she stopped at his quarters, assuming that he would go there. But the room was empty. Next she went to the mess, maybe was simply hungry and had gone to eat something. But again, nothing. Finally she called him on his PAL, but Lucas didn't respond to it. Unwilling to make a ship-wide call from the Bridge, she went back to her other work eventually, hoping that Lucas would return soon – she had so many questions.

Dr Westphalen hadn't gotten anywhere near Lucas's hideout during her search, for which he was very glad. Of course he had heard her calling him on his PAL, but he didn't answer it. He didn't want to see the doctor again in the near future – he didn't want to see anyone.

Lucas doubted that anybody knew of the place he was in, apart from him and maybe the Captain, who had after all designed the ship. It was a small niche in the wall of one of the storage rooms, dark and stuffy, and too small for most grown-ups; altogether perfect for him when he wanted to be totally alone.

So now Lucas sat there, with his arms wrapped around his legs, knees drawn up to his chin, rocking slowly back and forth, and thought about the things Dr Westphalen had said. 'Isn't the vocoder enough for you?' 'Not anymore!' He didn't notice the tears that were slipping down his cheeks as he thought about long lost times.

* * *

_  
We sit on a hill of grass. I can hear the music of the ocean roaring in the hill. It is a grassy beach without an ocean. Justine tells me that I don't hear the ocean; I hear the cars driving by on the Storrow Drive, the noise of their wheels is sounding in the hill; quite a pathetic ocean, she says._

_I listen and imagine the real sea. A seagull screams above us._

_Justine says: "Milan, are you okay?"_

_I say: "Justine, I want to go back to where the warm food is hiding in floodsinks. I want to go back into the sea, where the thoughts of my head don't squash my heart." I'm afraid of what Justine is going to think, that she is going to be angry with me. But she isn't angry. She listens. "But when I go back, I'm the dolphinboy, the boy you are laughing about."_

_Justine says: "I'm not laughing, Milan. Sometimes I wish I could go back, too."_

_"Justine, I'm thinking about that tomorrow and tomorrow I'm always locked in my room or in the learning room, that I have to wear clothes, have to eat dead food. I want to go home. To my dolphin family, home to the dolphins." I wrap my arms around myself. I close the eyes and let the tones grow inside me._

_Justine sits at my side. She doesn't tell me what I have to do, like Sandy or Doctor Beck. She doesn't treat me like the doctors treat me. She doesn't look aside when I say something she doesn't like. She listens. She treats me like we treat a new dolphin who wants to swim with us._

_Justine says: "My mother won't let you go."_

_I say: "What is, if she is going to lock me away forever? Makes me always play the little games, always searches for the dolphin language? What is, if I do all she says, and I'm still not good enough?"_

_Justine says: "You are already good enough. You can do by far more than anybody thought possible. But they don't know when they have to stop. Especially my mother doesn't know that."_

* * *

"I can't believe you didn't tell me this sooner, Doctor!" Captain Bridger exclaimed furiously as they made their way down the corridor of the C-Deck. It was way past midnight and the so lights in the corridors were dimmed, simulating night on the submarine. The aqua tubes cast a bluish light, creating an almost supernatural atmosphere. But the two people rushing down the hallway were oblivious to it. They were frantically searching for a certain teenager.

When Lucas still hadn't shown up anywhere an hour ago, Dr Westphalen had decided it was time to get some help searching for him and had addressed the Captain. The old man had agreed that it wouldn't do any good had they called Lucas via loudspeakers and the whole crew looking for him as the boy didn't need anymore publicity on the ship; he had by far enough of it. So the Captain had gathered some closer friends of Lucas, namely Ben, Hitchcock, O'Neil, Otiz and Crocker, and ordered them to try and find the boy. But so far they had come up with nothing.

Now the Captain and Dr Westphalen were on their way down to the Moon Pool. It had been their first stop on the ship wide search assuming that this was where Lucas was most likely to go, but nothing. However now Bridger had decided to ask Darwin to look for Lucas, too. Maybe the dolphin would be able to achieve more than they had.

Bridger stepped to the side of the pool and was content to see the sleek gray form of his animal friend gliding under the surface towards them. He switched to vocoder on and was about to address the dolphin when Dr Westphalen gave a shriek at his side and pointed to a corner of the room.

There, next to the water, lay a crumpled, human form. It was Lucas, curled up to a ball, sleeping exhaustedly on the hard, cold floor. The two adults ran to his side, but he didn't wake. His face was strained, as if he was having nightmares and on his cheek tears glistered in the dim light.

"Oh, Lucas..." the Captain whispered. He felt a sudden lump in his throat. The boy looked so lost and vulnerable.

"I don't think we should wake him." The doctor voiced her thoughts.

Bridger nodded affirmatively. "Hmmm, I guess you are right. Let's bring him to Med Bay. He can sleep there. Inform the team that is still looking for him." Obeying Dr Westphalen activated her PAL and quietly informed the others that Lucas had been found. Bridger bent down and carefully lifted the boy up in his arms. Lucas began to move slightly and mumbled something in his sleep. The old man was afraid that he would wake up, but just then Darwin surfaced at his side and gave some whistles. Lucas immediately calmed down and continued sleeping. Thanking the animal quietly Bridger carried him slowly over to Med Bay and put him down on an empty bed. Then he removed the boy's shoes and pulled a cover over him. Lucas turned a bit and mumbled something. Bridger bent down, bringing his ear closer to Lucas's mouth to understand what he was saying.

"... Justine!" Lucas whispered. His voice was barely audible, yet it held a longing tune. Slowly more tears formed under his lashes and made their way down his face. Bridger gently wiped them away, only to see them replaced by new ones.

Preparing himself for a long night, the Captain sat down on a chair next to Dr Westphalen and they watched the teenager sleep. Nobody said a word. The only sound in the room was the breathing of three people.

When Lucas woke in the morning only Dr Westphalen was with him in the room. Captain Bridger had left earlier this morning for, as much as he hated it at the moment, the man still had to captain a submarine. Luckily, the world seemed to have decided to show its more peaceful side for a while. So Bridger didn't have to deal with a new crisis for a while. Or at least not a world wide one. Yet he found that the present situation was already enough stress for all of them.

* * *

Lucas blinked as he gradually woke and stifled a yawn. In a flash realization dawned on him, that he wasn't in his room – it wasn't this light in his quarters; his room was always gloomy and a little stuffy, like a bear's cave – perfect place to hide from the rest of the world. Taking his surroundings the teenager found that he was in Med Bay – again. However, he didn't know how he had gotten here. The last thing he remembered was coming to the Moon Pool in order to talk to Darwin. How he had ended up in Med Bay was completely beyond him. But then Lucas remembered what had happened yesterday and groaned. Med Bay meant Dr Westphalen and Dr Westphalen meant... trouble. As if on clue the woman stepped in and greeted him.

"Good morning, Lucas! How do you feel?"

Lucas didn't bother to answer. What she said didn't matter to him anymore. Her voice was sounding is Lucas's head but the words held no meaning to him. He knew they had meant something to him, something important, but it had disappeared from his mind. However, he could feel and understand the sound of her voice. A sound that spoke himself: Spoke of professionality, of interest, of concern, of pity, of slight hidden annoyance and of care. The annoyance and the concern in the voice grew with every minute that Lucas wasn't answering to it. Finally the voice changed into one of order, not allowing any contradiction. He could barely make out some words, they were curling and dancing around each other. "... go... eat... last time... now... food... too thin..."

The meaning of it became clear to Lucas pretty soon when the doctor dragged him to the mess hall. As they arrived there all the conversations stopped once again and the members of the crew stared at them. The fifteen-year-old stumbled forward to obey Dr Westphalen and grab something eat. He was staring at his feet while he made his way to the line and so he missed the angry looks that the doctor was sending the glaring men and women who quickly returned their attention to their food and conversation. They knew better than to contradict the doctor when she wore "the glare". And right now "the glare" said: 'Mind your own business or you'll regret it!'. Then she steered Lucas with his trail to a table where Commander Ford, Lieutenant Hitchcock and Lieutenant O'Neil were sitting.

"Hi!" "Hey, Lucas!" "How are you?" he was greeted. He acknowledged their presence only with a slight nod of his head as he sat down. Dr Westphalen gestured them to simply go on with their former conversation. So they settled back to the big boxing event that was going to take place tonight in New York; they all had made their bets. From time to time they sent a short glance into Lucas's direction, but he didn't notice it at all. He was staring at the food on his tray. He had grabbed the first things at hand and now eyed what he had gotten himself. A bowl of cereal, a slice of bread, some tea and orange juice. But the teenager couldn't find the heart to start to eat. He only stared at the food for minutes. Then Dr Westphalen said something to him, but her words didn't register in his mind.

His friends were shocked to see the boy like this. He sat there like a statue. Lucas didn't eat, didn't speak, didn't move. His eyes were empty. He didn't answer when Dr Westphalen gently told him that he should try and eat something. He only stared at his trail and was completely silent. But then after some more minutes in complete silence (they had given up the attempt to make a regular conversation completely) Lucas spoke up in a very quiet voice.

"Do you pity me, Doctor?" he asked; his eyes remained on his food, unseeingly.

"What?" Dr Westphalen exclaimed surprised. The eyebrows of all four adults sitting at the table rose in unison.

Lucas looked up at the doctor and repeated his question: "Tell me, do you pity me? Pity what I've become?" Then he looked down again.

The addressed woman was flabbergasted as were the other three people at the table. Where had this question come from? Little did they know how important the answer to this question was to Lucas. Dr Westphalen cleared her throat and decided to be honest with him. She should be grateful that the boy had finally talked at all, she mused.

"Well, yes... in a certain way I pity you, Lucas." She said and put her hand gently on his. She felt him tremble slightly and continued. "I feel for you, Lucas. I feel for what you lived through, my boy."

Lucas closed his eyes. Pity. Boy. He pulled his hand away from the doctor's and stood up, his eyes cast down.

"Thank you for you honesty..." he whispered before he turned around and fled from the room. His friends remained seated, stunned by his strange behavior.

Ben Krieg came in from the other side of the room and sat down at their table, not knowing what had happened. He noticed them staring at the opposite door and asked surprised what was going on. So Katie filled him in on how Lucas had acted and what he had asked the doctor.

"And what did you answer him?" Ben demanded urgently, already foreseeing and fearing the answer.

"Well, I told him that I do feel for him and pity his situation. What else should I have told him?" Dr Westphalen responded.

"Are you totally nuts?" The Lieutenant exclaimed. "Where did he go to then?"

"I... I don't know... But why?" Ben gave no answer to this, he had already jumped up from his place and now raced out of the room in search of his young friend.

On his way to the boy's quarters Ben decided to make a quick stop at the Moon Pool, see if Lucas had gone there. Nothing. So he rushed to the boy's room.

Lucas stood in his room. His head was spinning, his thoughts were chasing each other in circles in his mind. He couldn't think straight anymore. Dr Westphalen's words had been the final blow. Isolated words or short thoughts, images and feelings sprang to his mind.

_Boy._

_Pity._

_Ocean._

_Wolf's child._

_Betrayal._

_Friends._

_Loneliness._

_Justine._

_Clothes._

_Dr Beck._

_Institute._

_Dead food._

_Parents._

_Dolphins._

_seaQuest._

_Bridger._

_Trust._

_Dr Westphalen._

Lucas stepped in front of the mirror hanging on the wall in his room. Disgusted he looked at the thin face staring back at him. Hair with the color of wet sand. Bones standing out sharply under the pale skin. Gray-blue eyes that held only emptiness, sunken in the ugly face. His face.

Boy!

Lucas clenched his fist and slammed it against the mirror.

Ben reached Lucas's quarter and tried the door. It was locked. That meant that Lucas was in. The Lieutenant banged against the door. No response.

"Lucas, please open the door!" he yelled. Nothing.

"Please let me talk to you! Lucas!" Nothing but complete silence. Not even Lucas's usual music was playing. Deadly silence.

Ben felt fear rise inside him. What if the boy had done something to himself? Normally Ben would never imagine such things in context with Lucas, but now things were different.

He banged his fist against the door again.

"Lucas!"

Then Ben got an idea. The trick that Lucas himself had shown him once to open a locked door aboard the seaQuest. It was all a question of positioning a key and a pen in the right way at the lock and giving them the right twist...

Within a few moments Ben had cracked the lock. Taking a deep breath he stepped into the room. Lucas sat on his bunch, leaned against the aqua tubes, and stared at the opposite wall. He held his right hand to his chest.

"Lucas? Are you okay, buddy?" Ben asked stepping closer to his friend. Then he saw why Lucas held his hand: It was covered with several small cuts on his knuckles and blood slowly dripped from it, covering his arm, falling down onto the bed and the boy's clothes.

"Oh my God! Lucas what happened?" Ben gently took the bleeding hand in his hands and examined it carefully. Lucas didn't answer though. He was completely silent, staring at the wall. When Ben turned to follow his gaze he saw what the teenager was looking at:

On the wall hung the remaining pieces of a mirror that been hit forcefully by something, like a fist. Some pieces lay shattered on the floor. But was made the scene look so horrible were the three smeared letters on the shattered mirror.

**B O Y** , written with blood.

To say that Ben was shocked would be an understatement. He turned back to Lucas who was trembling at his side.

Slowly the Lieutenant reached for his PAL and switched it on.

"Captain Bridger, please come to Lucas's quarters immediately! Fast!" he said urgently. Looking at the boy's hand again he added: "And bring Dr Westphalen and a medkit with you."

Then Ben returned his attention to Lucas. Gently he pulled him into his arms, careful not to hurt his hand any further.

"Shh... It's okay, Lucas..." he murmured in a soothing tone.

Lucas finally took his eyes off the destroyed mirror and buried his face in his friend's shoulder, still trembling.

"Oh Lucas, why did you do this?" Ben asked softly.

Lucas began sobbing. He took some shallow breaths and clutched to Ben's uniform like to a lifeline.

"Boy..." he whispered between his sobs. "Boy!"


	4. Chapter 4

Half an hour later Lucas sat on a bed in Med Bay. He seemed to spend a lot of time here lately. His right hand was wrapped in thick bandages and he had been given some pain killers. Still, he felt the intense throbbing in his hand. But the fact barely registered in Lucas's mind. His position resembled very much the one Ben had found him in about thirty minutes ago: He had his knees drawn up to his chin and leaned against the wall behind the bed. He was staring at an indefinite spot at the opposite wall.

"Lucas, why did you do this, sweetie?" Dr Westphalen asked for the seventh time. But Lucas never responded; he didn't even acknowledge that he had heard her. He was completely silent.

"Why did you hurt yourself like that, Lucas?" The doctor probed again. Her tone was gentle, like she was talking to a young child. When the boy still wouldn't react she stroked softly over his head and gave him an encouraging smile. "Don't worry, love. Everything's gonna be okay..." Dr Westphalen wasn't exactly sure whom she was trying to convince. She left Lucas in his meditation-like state and walked over to her office next door, where the Captain and Ben were waiting. The office had a window to the treating room so that they could still watch the teenager. Bridger was pacing up and down the room while Ben sat on a chair in the corner, breathing heavily. He had buried his head in his hands and was still trying to absorb the shock of finding his young friend in such a state.

Dr Westphalen sat down at the table in the middle of the office, sighing deeply. Bridger stepped to her and put a hand on her shoulder in a gesture of reassuring.

"How is he?" he asked softly.

The woman looked up at his face and tried a weak smile but failed. She shook her head. "Physically he'll be fine. He just has some superficial cuts and bruises that should heal within the next week. But mentally, I just don't know... What happened to this bright young man we used to know? To his mind, his smiles, his jokes, damn even his attitude? What happened?"

Ben lifted his head out of his hands and looked at the floor.

"Boy." He whispered and sighed, the significance of his word clear to everybody in the room.

Dr Westphalen gave a stifled sob. "To think... It's all my fault... He did this because of me... because I said that I pity him... It's my fault..." She lay her head in her arms on the table and began sobbing.

"No, Kristen." Bridger told her firmly and stroked her back to calm her. "This isn't your fault. True, maybe Lucas wouldn't have acted like this if you hadn't told him that you pity him. But the problem would have remained either ways. At least now we know how serious it is... very serious..."

"Captain," Ben spoke up, "what... what do we to do now?"

Bridger turned to the window and looked at Lucas. The boy hadn't moved, his eyes were fixed blankly at the wall. It hurt the old man to see his protégé and substitute son like this.

"We need help." He stated matter-of-factly. "Professional help. I'll talk to Admiral Noyce. I think I know who might be able to help us."

"And now you want me to do what, Nathan?" Admiral Noyce asked yet again.

Captain Bridger gave an impatient snort. "I want you to contact Dr Beck, the woman that was responsible for Lucas at the institute. We need to talk to her. Maybe she's able to help Lucas."

"Yes, I understand that part. But what do you need me for? You could simply call her yourself!"

"True, but... you are an Admiral, Bill, and I'm a simple Captain. You'll make a bigger impression on her..." he explained.

"What!? And that's your only reason?" Admiral Noyce exclaimed. "Because you want to impress a doctor?"

The Captain had the grace to blush slightly at this. "No, actually I have another favor to ask from you, Bill." Noyce raised a questioning eyebrow. "It's so that... with Lucas being so... off it I... I don't want to have other things on my mind and so... I wanted to ask..." The great Nathan Bridger, Captain of the world's most advanced submarine, veteran soldier and diplomat, was truly embarassed to have to ask his old friend such a favor.

So he was more than grateful when he was quickly interrupted. "I get your point, Nathan. I'll make sure to send you orders for a long term project... something that should keep the seaQuest occupied and away from any interference for a while."

"Thank you, Bill!" Bridger was relieved. He knew how much his friend was risking with this: Should anyone find out that Admiral Noyce had practically disabled the UEO's largest vessel because of a fifteen-year-old boy, he would lose his position even before he could say 'Admiral'.

"You're welcome. I know how much you care for the boy... I'll see what I can do for you. Bye."

* * *

Meanwhile in Med Bay Dr Westphalen walked over to the teenager who was still staring into empty space. She noticed how pale he was and how thin he had grown during the last few days.

"Lucas, when was the last time that you had something to eat?" she asked him. Lucas didn't move or acknowledge her question. Dr Westphalen stepped directly into his point of view so that Lucas's eyes met hers.

"Lucas, I've asked some people of the crew. Nobody has seen you anywhere near the mess for some days. I take it that means your last meal was the one I ordered you two days ago?" she asked in her best doctor tone. But Lucas still wouldn't answer. He turned his head aside so that he didn't have to look into the doctor's face.

Instead of him Ben who came into the room answered: "To be honest Doctor, he didn't eat that meal, too."

"What?"

Ben cringed. He knew he might be in big trouble now, but he was sure that it was more important now that Dr Westphalen knew the truth – even if that meant trouble for him. "Yes, you see you told me to make sure that Lucas ate his meal. But he said that he really wasn't hungry at all and then the food that you picked for him didn't look too good either. So I let him skip that meal too. I know it was a mistake to do that and I'm sorry, Doctor."

The woman gave an angry snort. "You better be, Lieutenant Krieg. But what's done is done." She turned to Lucas again. "That only means that you need to eat something even more than I thought." With that she left the room, only to return a few minutes later with a tray with vegetable porridge. Ben took a short look at the meal and grimaced. He really didn't envy Lucas now.

Dr Westphalen sat down next to Lucas on the bed and placed the tray on a small table next to him.

"Here, now eat this, Lucas." She said firmly. Lucas slowly lifted his head to look at her, then he turned to eye the food in front of him. Dr Westphalen's tone softened immediately when she saw his eyes: They seemed so sad and vulnerable. This wasn't a moody teenager, trying to be difficult, she reminded herself. This was a young boy who had lost his orientation of life, she began to understand slowly. She took up one of his hands – it was cold.

"Lucas, please, try some of this." She said softly. "You need to eat at least a bit. You don't do yourself a favor by starving yourself. Your body needs some vitamins."

Lucas slowly look up at her and then gave the slightest nod. Hesitantly he picked up the spoon. Ever so slowly he began eating in small bites. When he had finished about half of the food Lucas put the spoon down. He turned to Dr Westphalen and shook his head, indicating that he couldn't eat anymore.

The doctor smiled and took the tray away. "That's okay, Lucas." She said and stroked his head. "It's a start. Everything will be okay." She gave Ben who still sat in the room a winning smile that said: We are on the way to improvement!

Lucas leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. His breathing was regular but the two people in the room could tell by the attentive expression of his face that he didn't go to sleep. They sat down in the corner and began talking quietly. Had anyone come in the room that moment he would have been amazed to see the Lieutenant and the doctor so peaceful together. Normally the two of them were like cat and dog, but their multiple concern for their young friend had united them.

Captain Bridger sat at the table in the ward room with his head in his hands. He was rubbing his temples in slow circles with his fingers, trying to relax a little bit. He was waiting for a certain call.

* * *

It was mid afternoon by now. Fifteen minutes ago the Captain had finished the Senior Staff meeting. Only Ben had been missing because he had stayed at Med Bay with Lucas. But the Lieutenant knew what the meeting was about anyway. Bridger told them about what had happened to Lucas. For as much as he respected the boy's privacy, there were some members of the crew who had to know about the situation – mainly Lucas's friends. When the Captain was finished he had given out the order to keep the information to themselves and not tell anybody else of the crew about it. Finally Bridger told them about what he asked Admiral Noyce to do, about both the call to Dr Beck and the order to keep the seaQuest occupied. He had seen that Ford wasn't very much at ease with the last demand, however the Commander had kept quiet and accepted the Captain's decision. Even though he wasn't showing it easily, Ford cared deeply for his young friend Lucas.

And now all that Captain Bridger could do was to wait for Noyce to tell him that he hadn't been able to achieve anything or for Dr Beck to call. Of course he hoped fiercely for the latter.

The old man jumped when his PAL chirped at his side. Quickly he flicked it on.

"Yeah?" His voice sound strangely rough.

"Captain, there is a call for you." Lieutenant O'Neil informed him.

"Who is it?" Bridger demanded.

"Dr Elizabeth Beck, calling from Boston, Sir."

"Put her through."

"Aye, Sir."

Bridger took a deep breath and went to stand in front of vid screen. Only a few seconds later a woman appeared on the screen.

"Hello, Dr Beck. I am Captain Bridger." He introduced himself and eyed the woman. She was probably in her late forties, with blond hair that was tied up in a knot at the back of her head and green eyes. Her cool expression was unreadable and her eyes were icy.

"Hello. I was told by Admiral Noyce that you wanted to talk to me about a former patient of me. What can I do for you, Captain?" her voice was totally professional.

The fact that she referred to Lucas as a former patient of hers didn't go unnoticed by Bridger. Even though he didn't know why, he didn't like her too much from the very beginning. However, he told himself that he shouldn't judge anybody from the first impressions. So he answered politely:

"Well, as you're getting straight to the point, I hope very much that you can help us. This is about Lucas. Lucas Wolenczak, the boy you know better as Milan."

"Ah, Lucas. Of course, I should have expected it." Dr Beck said. "He was by far the most interesting subject in my career. But first I'll have you know that Mi.. Lucas is no longer my responsibility and I haven't heard from him in over a year."

Bridger clenched his teeth as the woman called Lucas a subject. Maybe she wasn't the best person to ask for help, but so far the Captain hadn't been able to think of another possibility. So he answered: "Yes, I'm very well aware that you're no longer responsible for Lucas. But I had hoped that you'd be able to get through to Lucas better than we do as you know more about this. You see..." With that Captain Bridger told Dr Beck everything that had happened during the last days, beginning with their encounter with the pod of dolphins. The doctor was listening all the time without interrupting him or asking a question. Her expression remained calm and untouched during the whole conversation and she didn't show any emotions about what she heard. When Bridger was finally finished she spoke up:

"I see your problem, Captain. However, I'm not sure if I'll be able to help you. I'm sad to say that Lucas and I didn't have the best relationship when he left the institute. But of course I'm willing to try and talk to the boy. If you want to we could try it right now."

Bridger nodded. "That would be good, I think. One moment please." He punched a few buttons at the table putting her on the waiting line then and flicked on his PAL.

"Dr Westphalen, would you please bring Lucas to the ward room? I want him to talk to someone."

"Of course, Captain." Came the immediate answer. "We'll be there in a few minutes."

Some minutes later Dr Westphalen lead Lucas into the ward room. She gently showed him to a seat facing the vid screen and he sat down. Lucas kept his gaze locked to the floor. As soon as he was seated he drew his knees up to his chin in a self protective manner.

Bridger mustered the boy critically: He was pale, his face was very thin and his whole body language spoke of insecurity. His shoulders were slumped forward and his hands were shaking. But the worse thing were Lucas's eyes: They were sunken in his face and had lost all their live; where once bright and sparkling pools of the color of the deepest sea had been were now only a pair of dull and empty grayish eyes. The Captain had to think of an old folktale that said that eyes were the mirror to one's soul. If that was true then Lucas's soul had changed completely in less than one week. The old man intently hoped that they would be able to bring back their friend's old true self.

Gently he addressed the teenager: "Lucas, there is someone I want you to meet and talk to. You already know her." When Lucas didn't respond he turned to Dr Westphalen for advice. But she only shrugged; the boy hadn't talked or reacted to her either before. While he would quietly do whatever he was told, he didn't say a word all the time. So Bridger pressed a button and Dr Beck's face appeared on the screen again.

"Hello, Mi... I mean Lucas." She greeted him. "How are you?" Patiently she waited a minute, however, when Lucas wouldn't react she realized she would have to change her tactics. Obviously she wouldn't be able to simply talk to him in a normal manner.

"Lucas, look at me. Tell me, do you remember me?" she asked, looking directly into his eyes. Lucas slowly raised his head and looked at her. Bridger noticed that the boy flinched under the doctor's icy glare. Lucas cast him a quick, fearful side glance before he hesitantly gave the slightest nod.

"Good. Do you know my name?" Dr Beck probed further. Lucas looked at the tips of his shoes again and was silent. "Lucas, what is my name?" the woman on the screen demanded.

The teenager took a deep breath before he whispered "Dr Beck." He still refused to meet her eyes again.

Captain slowly began to realize that it might have been not the best idea to make Lucas talk to this woman as she only seemed to upset him more. Dr Beck herself had said that the two of them didn't have the best relationship when they parted. A quick look at Dr Westphalen told him that her thoughts went along the same lines.

Dr Beck was now questioning Lucas further. "Lucas, tell me what happened a few days ago?" she demanded. And "why did you try to leave?" "Do you remember the game with the cards that you liked so much?" From time to time she tried to make him talk about more recent topics. "They told me that you have finished the vocoder. I'm really proud of you. What do you want to do next?" Nothing of it worked. Lucas remained completely silent and stared at the floor, refusing to look at the woman again.

As time passed by Dr Beck grew more and more impatient. Her questions and her tone became harsher and more ordering, but it didn't change Lucas's behavior.

Finally after almost an hour of this one sided conversation, the doctor lost her temper.

"Lucas!" she yelled. "Look at me! I know that you hear me! Lucas! Damn it, MILAN!"

At this Lucas looked up at her fearfully. His hands were shaking violently. Captain Bridger who had been sitting in the back of the room with Dr Westphalen during the whole procedure now stood up and stepped between Lucas and Dr Beck's image.

"I think that was enough." He declared. "Thank you, Doctor, but I don't think this is going to lead anywhere."

Dr Beck gave a nervous laugh and ran a hand through her hair, a little embarassed about her outburst in front of the man. "I guess you are right, Captain." She said. "As said, I didn't really think that I would be able to achieve anything. The boy used to have a better relationship to my daughter, Justine, though I don't know exactly why. And then, to be honest, Captain, this development isn't really a surprise. We had the same thing happening to Shay, another patient of our institute. Only that it happened earlier with her, and of course she didn't reach the level that Lucas did. Well..."

The doctor was interrupted by Lucas. "Justine..." he whispered, hearing her talk about her. Surprised by this Dr Beck stopped talking and looked at the boy, as did Bridger and Dr Westphalen.

"What did you say, Lucas?" the Captain asked him gently.

"Justine..." the teenager repeated and finally looked up at the woman on the screen. "Dr Beck, how is Justine?" he asked eagerly.

The doctor was stunned. "She's fine, I assume." She answered finally. "I haven't been talking to her a lot lately. She's very much involved in the University."

Lucas stood up from his seat and walked closer to the screen. "Tell her hello from me please. Tell her that I miss her..." Lucas's breathing quickened very fast. Concerned that he might be hyperventilating, Dr Westphalen stepped towards him.

"Hush, Lucas it's okay." She tried to calm him. "Please calm down."

But Lucas waved her off and turned to Dr Beck again. His gaze was very intense – this was very important to him! "Please tell her..." he managed to say again, just before he collapsed. Bridger reached forward and was able to catch the boy in time before he hit the floor. Slowly he lowered him to the ground and patted his face.

"Lucas! Lucas, come on, kiddo, wake up!" The man whispered urgently to the boy. But Lucas only gave a weak groan. His breathing was shallow and slow. Dr Westphalen was at his side at an instant and checked on him. After a few endless moments she gave a sigh of relief.

"It's okay, Nathan." She told him. "He only fainted, most likely to his weakness and the stress. He'll be fine." Bridger nodded, then turned his attention back to Lucas. He settled the boy's head in his lap and stroke a stray of his blond hair out of his face.

"Let's get him to Med Bay." With that Dr Westphalen reached for the intercom on the wall and called a med. team with a stretcher.

The team arrived only a few minutes later and Lucas was carried out with both Bridger and Dr Westphalen never leaving his side. Dr Beck's image remained alone in the ward room until she realized that nobody would address her and shut off the vid link a few minutes later. She still didn't show any affection about this and when she had switched off the vid she went back to her regular work as if nothing had happened. Like she had said earlier, Lucas was no longer her concern and she had meant it.

Bridger groaned as he buried his head in his hands and slowly rocked back and forth. The light in the room was dimmed, simulating nighttime. The old man shifted in his chair, trying to find a comfortable position. He wondered briefly why they didn't have any chairs that were more comfortable for longer sitting in Med Bay. He seemed to spend a lot of time in those lately, sitting next to a bed with a certain teenager in it. Which brought the Captain back to why he was here: Lucas.

The boy hadn't woken up since he collapsed earlier that day. He had been brought to Med Bay where Dr Westphalen diagnosed a collapse due to an extreme weakness and immediately attached an IV with nutrients. The bag with the fluid hung above Lucas's head, its content slowly dripping into his veins.

By now Bridger was the only one at the boy's side; Dr Westphalen had lay down in the room next door in order to get a bit of sleep. Bridger watched Lucas intently. If it wasn't for the IV and the strained expression on his face, he would have looked like a regular teenager. The Captain noticed a movement at the other side of the room and turned to see Darwin's sleek grey form in the aqua tubes. The dolphin was slowly swimming up and down the small part of the tube's system that allowed him to look into the room. He was looking at Lucas all the while.

"Hey, pal!" Bridger addressed the animal, knowing that it would understand him even without the vocoder. "You're also worried about your friend, aren't you?" Darwin gave a movement of his head, clearly a yes.

Next to the Captain's side Lucas stirred and began to move. Bridger turned to him.

"Lucas? Are you awake? Can you hear me, kiddo?" he asked hopefully and took the boy's hand. Lucas moaned and then mumbled something. The old man leaned forward to understand him better.

"... Justine... help me... Justine..." Lucas whispered and a tear formed under his lash and ran down his cheek.

"Shh... Hush, kiddo!" Bridger crooned. "It's okay! Whatever it is I'll help you..." he promised. He wasn't sure if Lucas had understood him, however, the next second the boy's eyes snapped open and he stared at the Captain with unseeing eyes.

"Help me!" he pleaded again. Bridger gulped hard; what was he supposed to do, should he leave Lucas in order to get Dr Westphalen or should he stay? Unwilling to leave his protégé Bridger decided to stay.

"How can I help you, kiddo?" he asked softly and stroked the small hand in his own.

Lucas turned his gaze to the aqua tubes, noticing Darwin in it. The dolphin did a roll-over and whistled a greeting. The boy stared at the animal for a long time, but Bridger wasn't sure if he even really saw it. More tears began rolling down his face and he turned back to the Captain. His eyes were pleadingly.

"What am I?" he whispered desperately. "I don't know anymore... tell me, please, what am I?" Bridger gulped back his own tears as Lucas continued. The boy hadn't talked all day long, but now the words were spilling out of him as if it was his last chance to voice them. "I'm no dolphin, that's what they and my body tell me; and I'm not a human boy, that's what my heart tells me. But what am I then? Please, I need to know..."

Captain Bridger struggled to find an answer for the boy, but he knew it was in vain – there was no answer. While Lucas was no dolphin neither was he regular human boy or would ever be one; his mind, his heart and his soul made him different. So instead of an answer the Captain bent down and took Lucas into his arms. He held him tightly and hugged him in an attempt to comfort him, rocking them gently back and forth. Bridger kept whispering calming nonsense in Lucas's ears who was weeping and sobbing uncontrollably in his arms. The old man felt the fragile body shiver violently, his desperation finally breaking out and surfacing. Eventually Lucas calmed down and his body went limb as he drifted to exhausted sleep.

"Justine..." he sighed again, the last thing he said just before he fell into sweet obliviousness. Still Bridger refused to let him go. And so he held Lucas in his arms, sitting on the edge of the bed, for the rest of the night. Darwin stayed in his place in the aqua tubes, watching his two human friends in the bluish light, reflecting from the tubes.


	5. Chapter 5

The following days Lucas was more an empty puppet than a human. He stopped speaking totally and his eyes remained focused on a distant spot nobody was able to see. He was sleeping a lot, and when he wasn't sleeping he sat on his bed in Med Bay – naturally Dr Westphalen didn't permit him to return to his quarters in his present state. But then she wasn't sure if Lucas really noticed this, or if he did whether he cared at all. The boy seemed impassive to everything going on around him. He refused to eat and so the doctor had to put an IV on him to keep him fed. But still Lucas was losing weight rapidly and it showed: He was looking like a human ghost. He was so thin that his friends could see his bones under his skin, especially the bones in his face were standing out, giving his face even sharper contours. His skin was far beyond pale, by now it was as white as the sheets of the bed. Lucas' now gray eyes were sunken in his face and bloodshot and his hands were cold like stones. Few reminded of the bright young man Lucas had been only weeks ago.

Lucas' friends were taking turns in keeping him company day and night and were trying everything they could think of in order to get through to him – but nothing worked. They tried talking about his latest projects, sport events, video games, his friends on the internex, O'Neil prayed for him, Krieg was telling him the dirtiest jokes he could think of – still nothing. Lucas didn't show the slightest reaction to anything of it. He remained quiet, sitting on his bed, staring off into the distance.

This was clearly taking its toll on the crew's mood: With every passing day the men and women aboard the seaQuest seemed more and more depressed, even those who hardly knew the teenager. It was amazing how one boy could influence a whole ship so much. Lucas' behavior was especially hard on his closer friends of the senior staff: There was nobody among them who hadn't shed the one or another tear for their friend – be it in the open or in the privacy of their quarters.

Bridger was spending the most time with Lucas, either trying to talk to him or simply giving him assurance by his mere presence, even though it also didn't show any effects. The only thing that had had any effects on Lucas was Darwin. Bridger and Dr Westphalen had brought Lucas to the Moon Pool area. Darwin had swum immediately to their side and Lucas had stroked the dolphin's bump with tears streaming down his face. Darwin had been whistling and clicking all the time and in a speed so fast that the vocoder hadn't been able to translate it. But Lucas had seemed to understand him anyway even though he had only 'answered' with a short whistle once. Then the boy had almost passed out from the effort of walking and standing for so long.

After that incident Dr Westphalen had ordered him to stay in Med Bay permanently. But Lucas was too weak to do anything else anyway. He was slipping away fast.

Now, when Captain Bridger looked into the mirror he could see the circles under his own eyes growing bigger and bigger for he also spent the nights next to Lucas' bed. At this sight the old man had to think of a joke of Lucas: There had been an especially stressful week for the Captain and when he had met Lucas in the mess the boy had said 'I didn't know you liked biological piercing so much.' When Bridger had asked him what he was referring to Lucas had said that he meant the dark rings (or circles) under the Captain's eyes.

Bridger gave a short snort. Biological piercing. Only a teenager could come up with such an expression! But at the moment it simply fitted for him. Yet, the Captain knew that even if the lack of sleep was taking its toll on him there wasn't any other acceptable option for him. His protégé needed him, especially during the nights. Because Lucas' nights were restless; he would toss and turn, mumble and let his tears fall silently in his sleep or cry out loud. It was always the same thing he begged for in his sleep: "Help me." "Justine." "Mother." "Justine!" "Help me, Justine." In his dreams was the only time the teenager talked. Whenever Bridger woke him from his dreams or nightmares Lucas would lapse into silence again.

Bridger had talked to Dr Westphalen about this. They had both agreed that this Justine could be the key to Lucas. But so far the only thing they knew about her was that she was the daughter of Dr Beck, the woman who had partly raised and studied Lucas, and that Justine was currently studying at Stanford. They hadn't been able to reach the young woman in order ask her for help, yet. Right now, Admiral Noyce was personally working on reaching her, for he knew how important Lucas was for his old friend Bridger and he had also taken a liking to the teenager in question. So the only thing that was left to do for the crew of the seaQuest was to hope that this Justine would truly be able to help Lucas.

Bridger was sitting on a chair in Med Bay next to Lucas' bedside. In his hands he held a book he wasn't able to concentrate on, his mind was wandering permanently. It had been four days since the call of Dr Beck that had upset Lucas so much. Four days he counted to the worst in his whole life, among the days his son Robert had been declared missing in field and when his wife Caroline had died. Bridger was just musing, remembering the first time when he had met Lucas; a young, unnerving brat with a terrible attitude and an even worse haircut. But already then the old man had sensed that there was something special about the boy, that his attitude was just a show to cover and protect his true self. Bridger had thought that he had been able to discover the boy's true self, now, however, he wasn't sure anymore if this 'self' of Lucas hadn't simply been another show to deceive them all. The Captain's thoughts were interrupted by his chirping PAL.

"Sir, there's a call from Admiral Noyce for you." O'Neil reported.

"Thank you, Lieutenant, I'll take it in my room."

"Aye, Sir."

Shutting off his PAL, Bridger stood up from his place and sent a last checking glance into Lucas' direction. The boy had been sleeping during the last hour but now his eyes were wide open and he was staring at the end of his bed. Bridger was a little startled that the boy had woken so abruptly; it was like he had only been pretending that he was asleep. Nevertheless the Captain kept his tone light as he addressed him.

"Hey, kiddo. How are you feeling now?" Even though it wasn't really much of a surprise Bridger was a little disappointed when Lucas wouldn't respond in any way. He sat impassive on his bed and didn't even turn his head into the Captain's direction. The old man heaved a sigh; Lucas hadn't answered to anything for the last four, no actually five days. While he would let them do with him whatever they wanted, he never showed any sign of interest or participation. He was like an empty shell.

Bridger eyed him a last time, taking in this saddening sight, before he turned and left the room. He gave a short sign to Dr Westphalen, who was sitting in her office outside Lucas' room, indicating that he was leaving for a while and that Lucas would be alone. Since the 'incident' with the mirror the two of them – with the help of the senior staff – had taken up the habit of never leaving Lucas alone for a long time.

Now Captain Bridger quickly made his way to his quarters to take the call of his friend Noyce. He hadn't wanted to take it in Med Bay because he wasn't sure how much of his surroundings Lucas was able to understand now and how he would react to it. And furthermore, the Captain wanted to have some privacy for this, in case that Noyce was having bad news for him. But, oh, how he hoped that it was good news that he had; then again, it wasn't easy to estimate right now, what was good and what was bad news.

With these thoughts Bridger reached his room and flicked on the vid screen, taking a deep last breath.

"Hello, Nathan." He was greeted by Admiral Noyce who was sitting in his office and wore his regular UEO uniform.

"Hi, Bill." Bridger tried to interpret his friend's expression in order to tell what kind of news he was having. But the Captain failed miserably despite his usual gift in reading somebody's face. Years spent with the military and diplomacy had effectively trained the Admiral and enabled him to keep his face absolutely expressionless. And now was one of the occasions that the man used it.

"I take it you have news for me?" Bridger finally asked him.

"That I do, my friend." Noyce answered and a small smile spread across his face. "I was able to reach Miss Beck at the university. I talked to her for quite some time and explained her your situation."

"And...?" The Captain prompted impatiently.

"And right now she's on her way to seaQuest."

"What?!"

"I think you understood me, Nathan." Noyce declared. "I said she's coming aboard the seaQuest. When I was talking to her and asked for her help, she said that it wouldn't be enough for her to call, that she would need to be there, to talk to Lucas directly. And I gave her the permission. I seriously doubt she would have stayed clear had I told her otherwise. From her reaction I would say that she's pretty close to Lucas."

Bridger watched his superior intently. He knew him long enough to be able to tell that this Justine must have made a very good impression on his friend when he allowed her to go aboard the seaQuest after he had only talked to her for one time.

Still he asked. "What did you think of her?"

"She seemed nice enough to me. In a way she reminded me of Lucas, I can't really explain why. But I really think that she might be able to truly help you. She should arrive in about five hours, she took the first plane in your direction she could get."

"Thank you very much, Bill. For all that you have done for us. Again..." Bridger said.

Noyce shook his head. "Don't mention it, Nathan. It's the least I could do. Just keep me informed how it is going."

"That I'll do, Bill, I promise. Bye."

"Good bye. And good luck." With that the picture of the Admiral died out and Bridger was left alone with his thoughts. He was hoping intently that the young woman would be able to achieve something with Lucas' conditions. Right now, all that was left to do for the Captain was to inform the crew about their coming guest and then wait for her arrival.

True to her word Justine Beck arrived less than six hours later on the seaQuest. Captain Bridger was on the bridge when the UEO shuttle arrived and asked for permission to dock. Having personally given the permission, Bridger let Commander Ford handle the bridge and headed for the docking bay, eager to meet the young woman. There the Captain met Dr Westphalen who had heard of the arrival and together they waited for the shuttle to dock.

While he was waiting Bridger's mind wandered back to Med Bay where Lucas was. How close was he to this Justine and why? And would she be able to help him? The Captain's thoughts were interrupted by the hissing of the opening launch doors. When they were fully opened a slender figure with a bag slung over her shoulder stepped off the launch. Justine Beck.

She looked around shortly, taking in the entire launch deck, the working crew members, the technical equipment. Eventually her eyes came to a halt on Captain Bridger and she smiled. Taking a deep breath, Justine stepped towards the old man and stretched out her hand.

"You must be Captain Bridger; you're looking exactly like Lucas described you. I am Justine Beck." She introduced herself.

Bridger took her outstretched hand and shook it, automatically taking in the young woman's appearance. She was about twenty-two years old. Her handshake had a strong grip, speaking of a headstrong personality. Justine wore a simple outfit, consisting of a pair of jeans, a Stanford sweatshirt and well-worn sneakers. Her light brown hair fell just above her shoulders, framing her tanned, open face. She wasn't exceptionally beautiful, simply a regular young woman. But what made her stand out for Bridger were her eyes: She was clearly Dr Beck's daughter, as her eyes had the same deep green colour. Yet, Justine's eyes differed very much from those of her mother. While Dr Beck's eyes had been icy and cold, Justine's held a certain warmth and compassion, together with hints of youthful mischief and curiosity.

Seen altogether, Bridger could say that she seemed to be a very pleasant person. Dr Westphalen had the same impression and she thought she could understand why Lucas was good friend with Justine, if she was as nice as she seemed to be.

"You're right, I am Captain Bridger. And this is Dr Westphalen, our Chief Doctor of Medical Department and Research." Bridger answered her and introduced the doctor. The two women also shook hands, then Justine turned back to Bridger.

"Can you please tell me, how is Lucas?" She asked Bridger, getting directly to the point of her visit. "Admiral Noyce did explain the situation to me in detail, but still I have to see for myself, if you understand."

Bridger smiled slightly at her direct approach. "Physically he's fine," he assured her. "As for the rest, you'll truly have to see for yourself. We hoped that you would be able to help us and reach Lucas, as your mother, Dr Beck, told us that the two of you were quite close. But first, Dr Westphalen will show you your quarters, so that you can put down your luggage and refresh yourself. After that I'll meet you in Med Bay, where Lucas is currently accommodated."

"Fine. I'll see you there." With that Justine followed Dr Westphalen down the corridor towards the guest quarters, leaving Captain Bridger behind at launch deck.

Despite the seriousness of the circumstances Bridger smiled to himself. He liked this girl. Maybe there was truly hope for Lucas to get better. Well, he would just have to wait and see.

Half an hour later the little group met in Med Bay. Ben Krieg had been sitting with Lucas until they arrived, but now excused himself, mumbling something about supplies. As he left the room Dr Westphalen sent him an appreciative glance – Ben could be tactful if he saw the need for it. And this situation obviously needed privacy, not a crowd of curious onlookers. So Ben retreated himself, even if it took all of his will not to stay and watch his young friend further, to see if this girl would be able to achieve what nobody of the crew had been able to do.

Justine took a careful step towards Lucas. It was true, Captain Bridger and Dr Westphalen had warned her that Lucas wasn't the least like he had once been, but what she saw now shocked her to no end: She mostly knew Lucas as a little imp, full of energy, with a spirited mind that was constantly searching for new knowledge and challenges, who would question everything he saw and with this give new perspectives to the people that surrounded him. From time to time Lucas had also been melancholic, dreaming about unknown things or saddened by the cruel world that surrounded him.

But never, never had she seen him like this: He sat immovable on his bed, staring blankly at the opposite wall, lost in his own world, totally unaware of what was going on around him. And Bridger had been very glossing over when he said that Lucas was physically fine. He wasn't more than a skeleton and his once bright eyes held a dull expression in their grey.

Justine felt hot tears sting in her eyes at this sight, but she gulped them down – she could cry later. Now she had to let Lucas know that she was there for him. She stepped to his side and took up his hand – it was cold like ice.

"Hey, Lucas. I'm here." She whispered to him. The boy didn't react in any means, he keep staring at the wall. Justine began stroking his hair with her other hand, then caressed his face. With her soft touch she gently turned his face towards hers so that Lucas had to look at her.  
"Hi, there." She crooned and smiled at him. Justine saw something change in Lucas' eyes, only for less than one heartbeat. Then his eyes became dull again, staring at her unseeingly. But it had been there! Lucas had recognized her in the back of his mind, for one moment the least! She had a chance! Justine gathered the boy in her arms, hugged him gently, pulling his head to her chest, and whispered sweet nonsense to him. Lucas was totally stiff and immovable in her touch.

Bridger sighed inwardly. Justine could as well embrace a stone he thought. But he understood in a way that it was important for Justine to let Lucas know that she was there. It was only that the Captain had hoped for more. Suddenly he began to question himself: What had he expected to happen? That Justine would just come in, say the magic word and everything would be okay again? Hell, Justine was regular girl and not a bloody miracle worker!

Justine held Lucas tight some more minutes before she stood up and kissed him on the forehead.

"I'll be back soon!" she promised him, caressing his cheek one last time. Then she walked over to where Captain Bridger and Dr Westphalen were standing.

"I need a few things from my room. If you'd excuse me for a while, I'll be back soon." With that she left Med Bay and headed for her room, leaving the two people behind with surprised expressions on their faces. What on earth was she planning now?

Ten minutes later Justine returned, in her hands a pair of rubber boots.

Rubber boots?! Bridger thought irritated. What was she going to do with that? It wasn't that he wasn't willing to try anything humanly possible in order to help Lucas, but what sense could rubber boots probably have for this matter?

But Justine simply ignored the quizzical looks that Bridger and Dr Westphalen gave her; she was concentrating on the task that lay ahead of her. She stepped to Lucas' side, he was totally 'off it' again and stared at his hands. But Justine didn't let it distract her from her plan. She helped Lucas in a sitting position on the side of his bed so that his leg were hanging down – as usually Lucas didn't react to it nor did he put up a fight. He simply remained impassive. Next Justine replaced the sneakers the boy was wearing with the rubber boots she had brought with her. She was well aware of the two people who were watching her intently, but she put the thought away in the back of her mind. What counted now was Lucas. Justine remembered very well how Lucas had loved this when he was younger and lived at the institute. It had always made him laugh even though it had taken Justine some time to understand why. She only hoped that it would work now, too.

When she had put the boots on Lucas' feet Justine knelt down. Then she began to gently move his legs so that the boots were rubbing against each other. By this they produced a kind of squeaking and squealing. With some imagination one could take it as the sounds that a dolphin produced.

At the other end of the room Captain Bridger began smiling as he started to understand what Justine was doing.

The young woman kept rubbing Lucas' legs against each other, producing sounds in various tunes and lengths. She looked up to Lucas' face. He was looking down at his legs and watched the movements with interest. His eyes had already lost some of their dullness and Lucas' gaze was following Justine's hands constantly.

The young woman smiled at him. "Hey, Lucas! You do remember this, don't you?" She asked him. Like expected Lucas didn't answer, however, for one second his eyes trailed to her face, before he returned his attention to his legs. But this was already enough for Justine. She kept moving Lucas' feet against each other while she was watching his expression. Suddenly the rubber boots produced an especially shrill squeaking and Lucas gave a snort, like he was suppressing a laughter, and a small smile spread across his face. Justine also smiled.

"Yes," she whispered, "you do remember..." And she concentrated more on her task. With every passing minute Lucas' smile slowly grew bigger as he remembered how he used to spend hours just playing with his rubber boots.

A soft voice entered his thoughts, gently interrupting his memories. Still the voice fit into these memories, she was part of them. Justine...

"Lucas." The voice whispered. "Lucas, you have to help me... I can't do it alone anymore... You have to help me... I know that you can do it... you used to do it so long... Come on Lucas, help me move your feet..." The voice was so soft and comforting and automatically Lucas obeyed.

An enormous smile spread across Justine's face as she felt how Lucas began to move his feet together with her.

"That's it !" She whispered. The two worked together for a few more minutes, however, gradually Lucas began to lose interest in his own legs and watched his friend instead. At first she didn't notice it as she was concentrating on moving the boots in the same rhythm as Lucas did. But when she looked up again Justine found the boy staring at her face.

"Hey there!" she said and gave him an encouraging smile.

Lucas stared into those deep pools of green, drowning in his own memories that were suddenly washing over him. A name came to his mind. "Justine..." he whispered softly, his voice barely audible. But she heard him nonetheless.

"Yeah, I'm here, Lucas." She answered and let go of his feet. She stood up, ignoring the protest of her legs which had been forced in an uncomfortable position for too long, and took up the teenager's hands.

"Justine." He mumbled again, a little louder already. The girl stroked over his hair and caressed his cheek. A single tear ran down Lucas' face as he savoured her touch.

"Lucas, my Lucas."

"Oh, Justine!" He suddenly groaned and buried his face in her shoulder. She embraced him fiercely, stroking across his head and back in order to give him comfort.

"Shhh... it's okay..." Justine soothed him. She could feel him sobbing against her as he let out the emotions he had been burying ever since the encounter with the dolphins.

Captain Bridger and Dr Westphalen who were still watching the scene were shocked by Lucas' outburst. While Lucas had never been a person for showing his feelings openly, they hadn't seen him show any emotions at all during the last days. And now this!

Justine sat down on the bed with Lucas still folded in her arms and rocked the boy slowly back and forth. All the while she was whispering sweet words of soothing to him and gradually Lucas calmed down. The young woman felt her friend relax in her arms and after a few minutes she realized that he had fallen asleep. Careful not to wake him, Justine lay Lucas down on the bed and pulled a blanket over him, with the gum-boots remaining on his feet. She kissed his forehead and then stood up. She walked over the two people in the back of the room, looking at them expectantly. When Bridger smiled warmly at her she gave a breath of relief. Even though she had known this man only for little more than an hour, she found that she was searching instinctively his acceptance and appreciation. She could understand why Lucas had been so taken with this man, about whom he had told her so much when they were talking over the vid phone.

The three adults quietly left the room in order not to wake the teenager from his peaceful slumber, leaving the door ajar.

"That was incredible!" Dr Westphalen exclaimed as soon as they were out of ear's shot. Captain Bridger nodded affirmative.

But Justine shook her head. "It was nothing." She said. "Anybody could've done it."

"But Lucas wanted you!" Bridger contradicted. "He was asking for you in his dreams every night. You two must be pretty close. You already helped him a lot!"

Justine still shrugged it off, unsure how to deal with the praise otherwise. "It was merely a step in the right direction..."

"Still I would like to know more about how you and Lucas became friends and what you know about him." Bridger said. "Would you join me for dinner?"

Justine thought about it for a moment. Dinner sounded tempting enough to her and she also wanted to get to know the people better that Lucas was spending most of his life with now. So she answered: "Sure, why not?"

Dr Westphalen excused herself; she had some things to do in her office and would keep an eye on Lucas.

The boy in question was currently deep asleep, the first peaceful sleep for him in days. He was dreaming of long gone days, days of innocence and playing together with a friendly girl with deep green eyes. Lucas turned around and smiled in his sleep.

The first step was taken.


	6. Chapter 6

Bridger led Justine to the mess. All the way down there both of them spoke only very few words, for different reasons: Bridger because he was still too caught up with what he had just witnessed and he was having a hard time accepting that a young woman that Lucas had never before spoken of could easily achieve within minutes what none of his other friends aboard had been able to do in days. Justine in turn kept quiet because she could sense the Captain's distraction. And furthermore, she was simply awed by the sight of the seaQuest – true, she had read a lot about the submarine, especially after Lucas was situated here. But to see all the technology (even the rather simple design of the corridors seemed high tech to her) and the aqua tubes was yet another story to tell; and Justine knew very well that the chances were high that she would never set foot on such a vessel in her life again. So she was enjoying every minute of it, despite the seriousness of her visit.

As soon as the two of them reached the mess they went to stand in line in order to pick up some food. When it was their turn, Bridger addressed Justine again.

"I wouldn't take the beef if I was you." He advised her. "It tastes like nothing at all."

Justine grinned. "Oh, that would still be an improvement. The beef at the canteen at Stanford tastes like sole." But she did follow the old man's advice and opted for pasta as did the Captain. Next he led her to a table where two men and a woman were seated. They all wore seaQuest uniforms, so Justine guessed that they had to be officers. Her suspicions were confirmed as soon as Captain Bridger introduced them.

"Justine, these are Lieutenant-Commander Hitchcock, Lieutenant Krieg and Lieutenant O'Neil. Lieutenants this is Justine Beck from Stanford University." They smiled at the young woman and they sat down to eat.

Justine had heard all those names before, on countless occasions when Lucas had told her of his life aboard the seaQuest. But right now, only one name really rang a bell. Krieg. Lucas had spoken a lot of him, his jokes and attempts to make money quickly. Justine decided to try and make a conversation and so she addressed the man sitting opposite of her.

"Krieg... You're Ben Krieg, am I right?" She asked him. "Lucas talked of you a lot whenever he called."

"Yes, I am Benjamin Krieg, Supply and Morale Officer." Krieg said and smiled. "Hopefully the boy only told you of my good sides..."

"He wouldn't have had much to talk about had he done so." O'Neil commented, producing some laughter.

Hitchcock in turn was more serious. She eyed Justine critically and said: "So, Lucas told you about us. I have to say that he never mentioned you."

Justine quickly swallowed the bite she had been taking. The indication in the woman's words was clear: Lucas had never talked about Justine and now she was here, acting like his best friend. It had to be hard on those who were close to the boy.

"Well, I have no control about what Lucas chooses to tell about himself... but I know that he isn't the most open person." She said defensively. Why the hell was she doing this? She was acting like a school girl! She wasn't the enemy! She was here to try and help their mutual friend!

Bridger also sensed the tension and tried to lighten the mood. "Yeah, well that's Lucas. But I guess I'm not mistaken to say that I'm not the only one who would like to know more about how you got to know Lucas and what you know about him that we obviously don't."

"If you wish so." Justine ate another bite of her dinner and took a sip of her soda. "I guess I best start with the beginning. As you might know Lucas was handed to the Institute that my mother is working at to be raised and studied. As my mother, Dr Elisabeth Beck, was his main doctor, she was spending the most time with him. She was fascinated by him and soon she also spent her free days and even most of her nights at the Institute. I was sixteen at that time and had just lost my father in a car accident. And now there was this dolphin boy who was stealing my mother from me. Hell, I was so jealous! You could almost say I hated Lucas, or back then Milan at that time. But then the Institute was granted some funding and we moved to a specially prepared and equipped house together with Lucas, Shay, another wolf's child who was found a few months earlier, and her doctors. There I got to know Lucas better. And I began to understand that it wasn't his fault but my mother's – she had become obsessed with Lucas' case, obsessed with the thought of finding the dolphin language."

Justine looked into the round. By now they had all forgotten their lunch and were listening intently to her story.

"Don't get me wrong", she said, "I love my mother. But at that time I began to understand that she isn't perfect, not at all, like most teenager do sooner or later. Well, eventually she reached a point where she totally lost Lucas' wellbeing out of sight and was only thinking about finding the answers to her countless questions. And Lucas was too good-natured and naive to understand it; he always tried to please her, even though it was never enough for her. And I started to see that I had to help him, to free him. With the help of Sandy Orlev, Lucas' other educator I was able to convince the 'Big Wigs' of the Institute that Lucas had to be reintegrated into society and that he should be placed under the custody of a regular couple and given the chance of going to school. So Lucas was given to the Wolenczak couple and went to school. We were incredible lucky as we were both accepted at the same school so that Lucas still had a friend nearby. He once told me that he wouldn't have gone there had it been otherwise. By the time we went to school together Lucas and I had become best friends. No actually we were more than just friends; Lucas saw me as his big sister and for me he was the little brother I never had."

Justine took a sip of her soda and hesitated. Why was she telling them this? These were people she had never met before but still she found herself telling them intimate details of her past. "I never quite understood why Lucas turned to me..." She continued, mostly talking to herself. "I could never give him all the answers to his questions. But still he instinctively searched for my friendship from the very beginning..."

Ben Krieg looked down at his hands. Yeah that sounded exactly like the Lucas he knew – it had been the same with Ben himself: Lucas had been the only one to see past Ben's surface, past the show he put up, his jokes, his less than clean businesses, the avaricious, slimy person Ben claimed to be. The boy had seen past all this and searched for his friendship, despite all their differences and despite all the troubles Ben pulled him into. And it was only now that Ben began to realize that Lucas had showed more of his true self to him than to anybody else on the boat – except for Bridger maybe.

Ben was so lost in his thoughts that he missed the beginning of Justine's next sentence.

"Once I asked him, why he had chosen me of all people, and do you know what he answered me? He said: 'Because you listen to me and because you care'. I just can't believe that that was the same boy who is now sitting in your Med Bay looking more like the shadow of a skeleton than a teenager!" She sniffed. The other people at the table also felt tears come to their eyes, but nobody let them fall. There was silence for a while, even though the mess was still noisy. Members of the crew and the science team came and went, few of them noticed the stranger sitting at the table with the Captain and some of the higher officers; for them it was just a regular dinner.

Justine pushed the plate with the rest of her now cold dinner away from her; she wasn't hungry anymore. When the silence threatened to become to heavy to bear O'Neil tried to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, well but now you are here and you're going to help him..."

Hitchcock agreed with him optimistically. "Yeah, and soon we're going to have our old Lucas back. The real Lucas, we all know!" The three men surrounding the table nodded affirmatively but Justine looked at her plate and slowly shook her head.

"But you can't have both." She mumbled.

"What?!"

"Would you care to explain what you mean with this?" Captain Bridger demanded.

Justine raised her head and look at the old man with defiance shinning in her eyes. "I meant what I said." She declared. "You can't have both. Either you want your 'old Lucas' back – though I doubt very much that that is possible anyway – or you want the 'real Lucas'. From my point of view these are two very different things."

O'Neil, Hitchcock and Krieg were staring angrily Justine; only Bridger thought he understood what the young woman was pointing out – and she was right. Consequently he was less shocked than the others when Justine continued.

"It should have occurred by now that most of the things you thought you knew about Lucas aren't true, that it isn't his true self. Most of it was only show, played to fool everybody around him. And with visible success."

Hitchcock was furious. "How dare you say so? How do you want to know what part of Lucas is true and what is show?!"

"Because I was the one who taught him all this."

"WHAT?!"

Justine sighed. This was going to be another long story and the four adults in front of her wouldn't like it very much. "It all began during our joint time at school. One evening Lucas came to my bedroom and asked me to teach him how to become a regular boy and teenager. When I asked him why he wanted to do so he answered me that he was tired of being seen as the dolphin boy that everyone pitied. I could understand his reasons very well and so we started with the lessons. I taught Lucas to behave and dress himself like a moody teenager, that he had to love loud, hard music and junk food. I showed him computer games and action vids. All things that actually weren't Lucas' favorite occupations. But he acted to it in order to fit in. And how well he acted! I always told him that should anybody find out about this someday he would surely receive an Oscar for the role of his life. Guess now would be the time for the handing over." She gave an ironic snort, then looked at persons sitting opposite of her. They all were amazed. To think that all they knew about their young friend had just been part of a big show, created to deceive them all! It was devastating.

Justine stood up and excused herself. She had shocked these people enough for one evening. She would go and look after Lucas again, before going to bed; it had been a very tiring day.

When Dr Westphalen looked up from her work to throw a checking glance through her office window into Lucas' room she was startled to see someone sitting at the boy's side. Upon further looking she discovered that this someone was Justine. The doctor hadn't even noticed going her inside the room. Curious what the young woman was doing, Dr Westphalen sneaked to the door and peered inside. Justine was sitting on the side of Lucas' bed. The boy was fast asleep. But still the young woman was whispering to him, calming words, and stroked his hair, gently pushing a lock out of his face and tracing his features. Lucas didn't awaken from any of this, however, he had a content expression on his face in his slumber.

Dr Westphalen decided to make a quiet retreat and pulled the door further shut not to disturb the two. Smiling she made her way back to her office. *Not bad, little one.* she thought, *Not bad at all.*

Captain Bridger woke early the morning but he felt perfectly rested as he had the spent this night in his own bed for a change. It wasn't that he minded staying at Lucas' side, but a real bed was simply better for his aging bones than a hard plastic chair. Even though he had been hesitantly to leave Lucas alone for the night, now he was grateful that Dr Westphalen had convinced him to do so. She had said that she would stay near the boy for as long as possible and then have someone of the Med Bay's nightshift watch over him constantly who would inform Bridger should there be any problems. But nobody had called him, so Bridger assumed that Lucas too had had a peaceful night.

After taking a shower and grabbing a cup of black coffee for breakfast from the mess Bridger headed directly to Med Bay to look after Lucas. Outside the boy's room he met the doctor.

"Morning, Kristin." He greeted her.

"A good morning to you, too." She replied smiling. "You look much better today."

"Gee, thanks. How was..."

Dr Westphalen answered him before he could even finish his question; she knew exactly what was on his mind. "Everything went fine, Nathan." She told him. "I haven't seen him so far, I just arrived five minutes ago. But the nurse told me that he slept peacefully the whole night through." She paused for a moment. "It's amazing what this girl did for him within a few minutes..."

"Yeah." Bridger nodded. "However, I have to tell you, what she said yesterday when we were sitting at dinner. But, Kristin, would you mind leaving me alone with Lucas for a short while before we talk? I would like to try and..."

"Sure, it's okay. I'll be in my office when you are ready."

Bridger was very grateful for Dr Westphalen's understanding. While he knew that she was also very close to Lucas, the Captain simply had to see the boy alone now. After yesterday the old man hoped that Lucas would react more positively to his attempts of talking to him.

The Captain quietly opened the door – should Lucas still be asleep, he didn't want to wake him. But the boy was already awake and sat in his usual position on the bed, leaned against the wall behind him, with his knees drawn up to his chin. He still had the rubber boots on his feet and was staring to the other side of the room. When Bridger turned to see what the teenager was looking at he wasn't really surprised to see Darwin swimming up and down in the aqua tubes. Slowly the Captain walked over Lucas and sat down next to him on the bed, patting the boy's knees.

"Hey, kiddo. How are you doing?" He greeted him. "I heard that you seem to have slept well last night? That's good to hear."

Lucas didn't do as much as blink to acknowledge the Captain's presence; he just keep watching Darwin swimming in the aqua tubes. Bridger had to suppress a deep sigh. He had really thought that things had changed with the boy after yesterday. But it seemed he had been wrong.

"Hey, Lucas!" he tried yet again. "You must be happy, now that Justine's here. She's a very nice girl, isn't she?"

At the mentioning of the girl Lucas slowly turned his head towards his Captain and studied his features intently. Bridger stared right back at him. His skin was still so pale and showed his bones. But his grey eyes seemed to have lost some of their all time present dullness. After a few moments turned his head back towards the dolphin in the aqua tubes and ignored the Captain again. The old man sighed and patted Lucas' knee.

"It's okay, kiddo. Just take your time." He said. "I know you'll find your way back to us eventually. And don't forget we love you, no matter where you come from and how you behave. You don't have to act like someone that you aren't just to please us." Bridger hesitated. "I have to go now, my shift starts soon. But I'll come back as soon as possible. And you have Justine, she'll also keep you company. I love you, kiddo. Bye." He stood up and walked to the door. Lucas hadn't throughout his speech, but he had blinked several times and his body had tensed a little.

When Bridger reached the door and was about to leave the room he suddenly heard a faint "Bye.", barely above a whisper. He whirled around and stared at Lucas flabbergasted. The boy hadn't moved nor did he look at the Captain; his face was completely expressionless. But Bridger had heard him and understood the message. A smile spread across his face.

"Bye, kiddo. See you later."

About an hour later Justine entered Lucas' room in Med Bay together with Ben Krieg. As much as her words had shocked him yesterday, Ben had begun to understand them in a way and now he wanted to see for himself what the girl was doing with Lucas – maybe he would be able to help the boy also once he understood how to do it. So he took position in the back of the room to watch the two after he had greeted Lucas.

Justine stepped to the boy's side and embraced him gently.

"Hey Lucas." She greeted him. Lucas slowly turned her head to her and gave her a weak smile.

"Justine..." he whispered.

"Yeah, I'm right here." And Justine began to talk to Lucas. It was merely chitchat, nothing serious in it. She would ask him how he had slept, if he remembered this or that, she'd make him play with his boots for a while and things like that. Nothing special and mostly things that the crew had already tried or talked about with Lucas. But different to their attempts it really worked with Justine doing it and neither Ben nor Justine could explain why. It simply was. Lucas slowly warmed up to Justine. He smiled and would nod or shake his head to her questions. Ben and Dr Westphalen who had come in some time before were speechless. It was like Lucas had only waited for Justine to come along and do all the things that his friends had tried without success. But why?

After a while Justine pulled disc out of her pocket and pushed it into the disc player.

"I have got a surprise for you, Lucas." She said and switched on the disc. Softly the first tones of Classical music began to sway through the room, enchanting the people in it. Lucas' smile grew wider. He half closed his eyes and began to rock himself from side to side. Justine stepped quietly to his side and whispered in his ear.

"Do you remember this?"

Lucas nodded with his eyes still closed. "Mozart..."

"Yeah..." After a while she took Lucas' hands and began to rock in the same rhythm as he did, letting the music flow through herself. "You know," she whispered to Lucas. "I would dance with you, like we did all those years ago, but I don't think you're strong enough to stand right now. But maybe in a few days, what do you say?"

"Hmmmm..." Lucas hummed softly in response. He was totally lost in the music, he could feel it in every fibre of his body, it harmonized with his heartbeat and breathing and made his mind find peace. He knew that other people didn't feel the music like he did, but for him every moment of it was like magic and he enjoyed it. Eventually the music drifted him to sleep, for his weakened body doing as much as rocking slightly to music was an exhaustion. Justine eased him slowly in a lying position, then she stepped back, leaving the music playing silently in the background. She walked over to Ben and Dr Westphalen.

"It's simply amazing." Said the doctor.

Ben was still speechless. "I just don't see what you are doing otherwise than we did! I mean, okay, we never gave him rubber boots to play with or Classical music, but we talked to him the same way as you and he never responded to it!"

The young woman nodded. "I can't explain it either." She said. "When I came here I had no idea what I should say or do to help Lucas. All the things I did came naturally and I'm sure you did the same – except for the boots and the music, but I only knew about this because I have known Lucas for a longer time. I don't know why Lucas wanted me..." She went silent and turned to aqua tubes. Justine put her hand on the glass, feeling its coolness against her warm skin. Suddenly Darwin appeared again and tapped with his snout against spot where the girl's hand lay. The dolphin nodded and moved his mouth like greeting her. The three humans smiled.

"Maybe I should introduce you two formally?" Ben suggested, looking at Dr Westphalen for her approval. She nodded; it would do them good to lighten their mood a bit.

"Come, Justine." Ben continued at this. "I'll show you the Moon Pool."

When the twosome entered the Moon Pool area Ben was still considering how much he should show to Justine – after all the vocoder was actually considered top secret. However, the young woman wiped out all his thoughts with one casual question as they neared the Moon Pool.

"I take it Lucas further improved the vocoder since he came aboard?"

"You... you know about the vocoder?!" Ben asked surprised.

"Of course, it was one of the main reasons why Lucas came aboard the seaQuest." Justine answered while she looked around. "And furthermore, don't forget I went to school with Lucas. I was practically an all-time-witness when he developed the equipment."

Once again Ben was stunned by this girl. "So, does that mean that you know the vocoder about as well as Lucas does?"

Justine turned around to face the Lieutenant. "Hardly!" she laughed. "I'm no genius like Lucas, Lieutenant! It's true, I was there when he was working on it, but whenever he tried to tell me something about how it worked I never understood a word so that he had to explain it to me a second time in plain English."

"I see." Ben smiled. It was good to hear that he wasn't the only one who had difficulties with such high tech. There were times when he felt like a jerk among all those scientist and super-militaries like Ford and Katie.

His thoughts were interrupted by a splash in the moon pool that announced the arrival of Darwin. And there it was the sleek, grey form, swimming towards them underwater. Ben flicked on the vocoder and then stepped back a little, knowing all to well what was coming. And he was right: Darwin surfaced splashing Justine totally. The young woman shrieked then laughed. She bent down and petted Darwin's bump.

"Hi, you must be Darwin!" She greeted him. "I'm Justine."

Darwin nodded and whistled happily. "Justine Lucas friend!" Came the translation.

"Yeah, I'm Lucas' friend."

"Justine help Lucas. Lucas sick. Justine help."

She nodded. "I hope so. I'll try my best."

"Darwin also help Lucas. Lucas Darwin friend. Darwin miss Lucas." The dolphin announced.

"Well, I'm sure Lucas misses you, too. And it would be really good, if you could also help Lucas so that he can play with you again." Justine said, stroking him again.

"Justine play?"

"Not now, fish face. Maybe tomorrow." Ben told him. Darwin gave a short blow and sprayed the two before he turned and dove back towards Med Bay.

Justine stared after the dolphin for a moment. "He did this all only for my mother..." She said in a low voice, looking straight ahead.

"Huh? What?" Ben was surprised; he hadn't been able to follow Justine's trail of thought.

"Lucas." She explained. "He developed the vocoder only for my mother. He may not admit it, or maybe he doesn't even know it for himself, but I do know it."

"Why? Why would he do this?"

Justine remained silent for a while. "Because he tried to make her happy. All the time when Lucas was living at the Institute my mother tried to find the dolphin language. But she never succeeded and Lucas couldn't help her because she didn't understand when he tried to show her. She kept on trying and forced Lucas to help her even though he couldn't. So Lucas felt like he wasn't good enough for her and that hurt him. And then when Lucas was at school and he had gained the technical knowledge he built the vocoder. He did this for my mother! To give her the possibility to finally talk to the dolphins. He did it to make her happy, only to please her! Because it always upset him when he felt that she wasn't satisfied and he couldn't change it." Justine paused.

"I tried to explain him that nothing could make my mother completely happy, that she would always keep searching, no matter what he did. But Lucas didn't understand. He believed it was his fault." She sniffed and wiped away a lone tear that threatened to fall down her cheek.

Ben stood at her side, unsure what he was supposed to do or say. Once again Lucas' old life left him speechless. Before he could think of something appropriate to say Justine continued, starting to pace up and down.

"And now... this... In a way I feel that it is partly my mother's fault, that she is responsible for what happened to Lucas and how he behaves. Had she treated him different, had she supported him more than her own career, things might be different, better!" The young woman interrupted her pacing, clenching her fist, and hit the side of the Moon Pool angrily. Then she sighed deeply and relaxed. She looked at Ben.

"I know, I know... all these what ifs and hads won't change a thing. But I will right some of my mother's wrongs and help Lucas. I owe him that much..." With that she fell silent and leaned with her elbows on the side of the pool, looking dreamily across the water.

Ben looked at her. *You won't have to do it all alone.* He vowed silently. *I'll also help Lucas as much as I can. We'll give him the life he deserves, I swear.*

Bridger was sitting next to Lucas' bed when Justine returned to his room later that day. He had told Lucas about what had happened during his shift and Lucas seemed to be listening to it halfway.

"Hi Lucas! There I am again!" The young woman greeted him before she noticed that the Captain was also in the room. "Oh, hello Captain Bridger. I didn't know you were here, I'm sorry; I'll leave you two alone..." She turned to leave. But Bridger stopped her.

"No wait, it's okay!" Justine was leaving in order to give the Captain some time with Lucas so that Bridger didn't feel like she was taking over his place as Lucas' friend. Bridger understood her intentions and was grateful for it. But he had also seen how Lucas' eyes had begun to sparkle as soon as Justine had entered. Obviously the boy enjoyed the young woman's presence very much. And Bridger would be damned if he took away that little joy from the boy for his own selfish wish to remain Lucas' only best friend aboard the seaQuest! So he stood up from his seat and signaled for the woman to come back.

"Really, Justine, it's okay." He repeated. "I think Lucas enjoys your visit very much. Please stay. I'll just watch you two..."

She hesitated for a moment, then she nodded and came back into the room. She sat down next to Lucas on his bed.

"Hey, Lucas!"

The boy turned to look at her and smiled. His eyes sparkled, revealing his joy at her sight. Very quietly he breathed more than spoke a greeting. "Hi, Justine."

She smiled back at him and put an arm around his shoulder. "Hey, I met your friend Darwin today. He is very nice. But he seems to miss you very much. I'm sure he would be happy, if you'd come and play with him again. Wouldn't you like that, too, Lucas?"

He nodded and shortly looked at the aqua tubes where Darwin was swimming up and down; the dolphin was rarely leaving the part of the aqua tubes that lead through the Med Bay since Lucas was situated there. But when Justine spoke up again Lucas returned his attention to her immediately.

"But I won't take you to the Moon Pool with that thing in your arm." She told him and pointed to the IV that was attached to Lucas' arm, like it had been for days, as he still refused to eat. Now he looked down guiltily like he was ashamed of it.

"You wouldn't be able to walk with it. And furthermore you are much too weak to go there anyway. So I can see only one solution. Do you know which one, Lucas?" Justine asked him. Lucas looked at her eagerly, the idea of playing with Darwin had gotten his entire attention. Yet, he didn't answer Justine's question.

"You have to start eating again, Lucas." She explained him in a soft voice. "You have to get stronger, if you want to go and play with Darwin."

"Will you do that, Lucas? Will you start eating again?" Captain Bridger interfered also. He had watched the twosome long enough. It was a risky game that Justine was playing right now, tempting Lucas with the one thing he longed for – Darwin. Bridger himself had considered this to be a possibility to make the boy open up more to them again, but in the end he hadn't dared to do so as he didn't know how Lucas was going to react to it. Bridger believed that Justine also simply had a lucky guess as she did so. However, it seemed to work out. So now it was necessary to let Lucas know that he wasn't alone with this. This was a very important step.

"Lucas, will you do that?" Bridger probed further. "Not for me, or for Justine, or for anybody else here. Only for yourself. Will you do that?"

"Come on, Lucas..."

The boy was staring at his hands now while both adults studied him intently. The thought of seeing Darwin again was so tempting... And this eating thing seemed to be very important for the Captain and his friend Justine, Lucas thought, even though he couldn't remember why. He cursed inwardly; there were so many things he couldn't remember clearly lately even though he knew that they had once been important and natural to him. Now nothing of it held any meaning for Lucas. But it seemed to be important for his two best friends, the two people who had proofed that they still loved him, no matter what. There, the Captain was asking him yet again! "Will you do that, Lucas?" his voice sounded softly in the teenager's ears, he could hear the desperate and pleading undertone. So Lucas decided to make them happy and grant them their wish by eating.

Bridger was relieved to see Lucas nod hesitantly. The boy looked up from his hands to look at Justine's face for a minute, next at the Captain's. Then he looked down again and whispered: "For you."


	7. Chapter 7

True to his promise to them Lucas started eating again. While the food that Dr Westphalen provided for him – a mushy light diet, either green or orange – made shivers run down the Captain's spine at its mere sight, Lucas ate it without contradiction. Soon the doctor was able to take him off the IV and Lucas was obviously grateful for it.

During the next week his conditions improved more and more and the teenager seemed to get better again. He was slowly gaining some weight so that his bones didn't show anymore as much as they had done before. The boy grew less sickly pale and his eyes lost their dullness. They were finally shining again like they had done in former times, even though their bluish-grey color remained. Lucas was getting stronger with every day and after a week Dr Westphalen finally agreed to let him go back to his quarters.

But Lucas wasn't only physically getting better. He finally responded to friends, too. At the beginning he had only paid attention to Justine when she was talking to him, later on also to Captain Bridger and eventually to his other friends who were visiting him regularly. By the end of the second day every corner of his room in Med Bay was filled with get-well-cards and flowers. Lucas would listen when his friends from the crew were talking to him and after a while he began answering them, shyly like he was just learning how to do so. At first Lucas would only nod hesitantly or shake his head but by the end of week he would even give short answers when he was asked directly and say 'Yes' and 'No'. However, he wouldn't talk about his past or what happened weeks ago with the dolphins. When somebody asked him about it Lucas would turn away and lapse into silence, like he was ashamed or even afraid of that topic.

Captain Bridger knew that this might become a problem someday but right now everybody was delighted with these developments. The whole crew seemed to be in a better mood, now that the teenage genius was out of the woods. It amazed the Captain how much influence this one boy could have on an entire boat.

The probably most touching scene in the teenager's progress had been the day when he first saw Darwin again. With the doctor's okay Captain Bridger, Justine and Dr Westphalen had taken Lucas to the Moon Pool. The dolphin had been overjoyed to have his friend back and splashed them all repeatedly in his happiness, whistling and clicking all the time. Lucas too had been more than happy to see Darwin. He was smiling constantly and stroked and caressed the dolphin again and again. Bridger could the tears of joy, shining in the boy's eyes. What surprised the threesome a little was that Lucas didn't talk to Darwin directly, even though the dolphin seemed to have expected it more or less. But Lucas only talked 'via vocoder' to his animal friend, telling him that he had missed him and that he was getting better. At Darwin's question whether Lucas could come in and swim with him, the boy turned to Bridger with pleading eyes. But Bridger shook his head; Lucas' body was still too weak for this. 'In a few days' he promised the dolphin who seemed to be satisfied with that answer. Just Lucas had a look of disappointment on his face. But Bridger couldn't help it; he seriously doubted that swimming would be good for the teenager's health right now.

The one person that Lucas was still spending the most time with was Justine. The young woman was almost all the time at his side. She would listen to music with him, eat with him, they would play with Darwin or simply talk for hours. When Lucas was allowed to move back to his own quarters Justine also often spent the night there with him. Captain Bridger had been a little concerned about this and had considered talking with Justine about this rather serious matter; after all was Lucas underage and people might believe that she was using his present vulnerable situation. But then the Captain had passed by the boy's quarters late at night and had found the two sleeping side by side, curled up to a ball, on Lucas' small bunk. It been simply a heartwarming sight and Bridger had come to understand that they were like brother and sister not lovers. Lucas had looked so peacefully in his sleep, completely at ease with his friend in his near.

Captain Bridger was already wondering (and secretly worrying) what would be when Justine would have to leave the seaQuest – and that day would surly come eventually. It was already nearing mercilessly. The more Lucas' conditions – both physically and mentally – improved the clearer it got that Justine would soon have to return to her own life as her stay had been intended to be only temporary from the very beginning. But how would Lucas react to it? Nobody was able to predict this.

Once again were those thoughts entering the Captain's mind as he watched Lucas from a distance who stood at the side of the Moon Pool and played with Darwin. But he pushed those thoughts into the back of his mind. He could worry later. Right now he only wanted to enjoy himself for a short while – he hadn't done so in days. A clear, carefree laughter sounded over to him and Bridger returned his attention to the two players in front of him: Lucas would throw a ball and the dolphin would 'kick' it back with his nose. A simple game that made the teenager smile all over his face and let his eyes shine.

Someone put his hand on Bridger's shoulder and the old man turned around. Dr Westphalen was standing behind him. She too was smiling at the sight of Lucas and Darwin playing together.

"They are such a cute pair." She said and Bridger nodded in full agreement.

"I took a look at my pictures from seaQuest a few days ago and I noticed something," he told her. "On more than half of the pictures that I have of Lucas he's together with Darwin and the other way round."

"I always thought they shared a special bond. But I never guessed it could be this special..." The doctor didn't have to go into further detail; it was clear to them what she was referring to. Both adults fell silent for a while, watching their young friend and substitute child.

Then Bridger looked around in the Moon Pool area searchingly. "Where is Justine? It surprises me that she isn't here with Lucas."

"She's in her quarters. She had to sort out a few things with her University, you know, why she's gone for so long and things like that. And I told her to lie down and get some rest after she was done. She's been together with Lucas almost without a break for the last few days, so I guessed she might need a few hours alone." Dr Westphalen explained. "But don't worry, we can do without her for a while. It seems to me that Darwin is enough of a substitute for the moment." As if on cue, the dolphin made an acrobatic jump for the thrown ball, causing Lucas to laugh heartily.

"I know, you're right." Bridger admitted. "But I would have liked to try something new with Lucas, to take another step you might say."

"And what would that be?"

"I want him to work with the computer again. Nothing to difficult for the beginning of course. I was thinking of a game with numbers and forms, similar to the one he played when we arrived at Node 3."

Dr Westphalen nodded; the idea was only logical. "And what would be against it? You seem to hesitate." She observed.

"Well, I don't know... Shouldn't we better wait for Justine to be there?" Bridger asked.

"Oh come on, Nathan. It's a computer game. What harm could it possibly do?"

"I guess you're right." He thought for a minute. "Okay, let's do it. Do you have the time right now?"

"Sure, why not?"

With the decision made Bridger walked over to Lucas. When he had almost reached the boy he coughed slightly to let Lucas know that he was there without startling him. But still Lucas whirled around fearfully and took a step behind before he realized who his 'visitor' was.

"Oh, hello Captain." He breathed relieved. Whom that he would have to fear had he expected anyway? Lucas questioned himself. He didn't find an answer for his mentally asked question; just like so many times before now.

"Hey, kiddo." Captain Bridger greeted him, taking in the boy's body language. His shoulders were slumped forward, he kept his head down and held his hands in front of his body in a defensive manner. Bridger wondered briefly what the teenager was trying to protect himself from or if his defensive pose did even register in his mind. After a short pause the Captain continued. "Would you join us for a while, Lucas? I would like to show something to you," he said and smiled.

Lucas hesitated, reluctant to leave Darwin, and threw a short glance over his shoulder at the dolphin who was waiting at the side of the Moon Pool to continue their game. Then Lucas looked back at the Captain and studied him intently. The old man's eyes were shining – obviously this meant very much to him. And after all was Bridger also his friend just like Darwin and had already done very much for him. So it seemed only fair to make him happy, especially when it could be so easy like now Lucas thought. Everything else would be selfish and he didn't want to be selfish; it reminded him too much of certain people he had got to know in his life.

So Lucas simply nodded, indicating that he would do as he was bid. Immediately a huge smile spread across Bridger's face. So, Lucas had been right, this was very important to the man and no matter what they expected him do now, making Bridger smile like that was worth it.

They walked over to Dr Westphalen who had meanwhile turned on a computer and called up the program. Bridger maneuvered Lucas over to the chair in front of the computer and made him sit down. The screen was filled with colorful symbols which were standing on five three-dimensional levels and codes were flashing across the screen. To the two adults the game seemed quite complicated, but Bridger knew that Lucas had found it easy when they had been at Node 3.

"We thought that you might like this, Lucas." Dr Westphalen explained.

"Hmmm..." The boy looked around, slightly tensed. "Where is Justine?" he asked her instead of giving the Doctor a proper answer.

"She's taking a break in her room." Dr Westphalen answered him. "She deserves some time alone, don't you think?" Lucas nodded slowly after a short thought; truth to be told, he felt much better when Justine was nearby. But Dr Westphalen was right, his friend deserved a break. Meanwhile the doctor continued. "But I think we can do just fine without her for a while. Until she comes back, why don't start and try this?" She suggested, pointing at the computer.

Lucas looked from her to the Captain and back. They both were smiling and looked at him expectantly. So he turned his attention to the game and watched the screen for a while. The numbers were showing up and disappeared again to fast for him to follow them properly with his eyes and the different, garish colors of the symbols were distracting him further. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Lucas was painfully aware of the Captain's and the Doctor's presence and their looks; they were waiting for him to do something with this 'game' as they called it. So Lucas hesitantly pushed a button on the keyboard, without really knowing what he was doing. Instantly several lights flashed up on the screen and the perspective took a sharp turn, changing the whole scenery. The teenager virtually jumped back in his chair at this; he hadn't expected this. He didn't like this 'game' at all; he preferred playing with Darwin by far. But when he saw the Captain starting to frown at his reaction Lucas tried to concentrate on the computer again. All these colors and numbers were confusing him to no end. He tried a few more buttons but it didn't help him understand the game either. Lucas grew more and more tense. In the back of his mind he knew that he had played this before – it had been so simple then! But now he didn't understand anything anymore. His mind seemed empty, like he had simply lost the knowledge of how to play it. Lucas closed his eyes and sighed. When had he done this anyway? He couldn't seem to remember properly. It hadn't been on the seaQuest, Lucas remembered sitting among a lot of young people – there were no other youth aboard the seaQuest. What had he been doing there? And there had been a girl there, Lucas could see the vague picture of a face in his mind. Who had she been? If only he could remember!

Suddenly Lucas' face felt so hot. He knew that the Captain and Dr Westphalen were still standing next to him. Surly they were terribly disappointed of him; he had failed their expectancies – Lucas simply knew it. He always disappointed the people that surrounded him, he always failed his friends. Lucas felt hot tears come to his eyes but he refused to let them fall. 'Never let them see your tears!' whispered a voice in the back of his mind and Lucas obeyed it. Unconsciously he had begun rocking slowly forward and backward in his chair.

Captain Bridger had watched him with growing concern. He had noticed how the boy tensed in front of the computer, then closed his eyes and retreated to the world in his mind where nobody could follow. When Lucas started rocking himself Bridger's and Dr Westphalen's gazes had met. It was clear to both of them this wasn't helping the boy in anyway. In contrast it seemed to upset him only. They had been so sure that Lucas was ready for this! But obviously they had been wrong.

So Bridger gently put his hand on the teenager's shoulder to calm him and bring him back to reality.

"It's okay, Lucas," he said quietly. "You don't have to continue this if you don't want to." He squeezed the boy's shoulder reassuringly.

When he heard the Captain's voice Lucas opened his eyes and looked up slowly. What had the Captain just said? Lucas knew he had heard him talk, but he couldn't remember the words. He felt an incredible heat pulsing through his veins and a sudden wave of dizziness crashed over him. Lucas blinked, trying to shake it off and concentrate on the Captain, but found it incredibly difficult to do so. Why was he sitting here? Lucas suddenly realized that Bridger was still talking to him and so he listened up.

"... to your room?" was the last thing he heard. Yeah, his room. This sounded like a really good idea – well at least Lucas suspected that the Captain had asked him whether he wanted to go to his room. Lucas nodded and got up quickly. He only wanted to be alone now. As soon as he was standing the teenager felt a new wave of dizziness and his vision went black for a moment but he fought it back. With a hastily mumbled excuse Lucas stumbled out of the room. Sending a last glance back at the two adults, Lucas wondered briefly why nobody of them tried to follow him; maybe they felt his need to be alone. Just before he left the room his eyes met those of the Captain and the boy thought he could see the disappointment in them.

And Bridger was indeed disappointed, but only of himself. He had expected too much of Lucas in too short a time. It seemed he had pushed him too far in his own wish to get his old friend and substitute son back. But just like Justine had said a few days earlier it was unlikely that this Lucas would ever come back. The real Lucas was maybe completely different from the one they knew. But Bridger didn't blame the teenager for this; he only blamed himself because he hadn't been able to see this earlier.

He had disappointed Bridger, his friend! He always disappointed his friends! Lucas had finally reached his quarters, even though he didn't know how he made it, and dropped onto his bunk. His heart was racing as was his mind. He had seen the disappointment in Bridger's eyes; Lucas hadn't been able to give him what he wanted. Why was it that he could never satisfy his friends? It had been like this with Dr Beck, too. And now Bridger. Dr Beck had been angry with him and had sent him away – would Bridger do so, too?

Lucas leaned his head against the aqua tubes next to his bed, savoring their coolness against his skin; he was so hot, like he had been sitting in the summer heat for too long. The teenager suddenly longed for the ocean, longed to swim in the cool sea, to let it cool his hot body. And oh, how he longed to be with the dolphins again, his pod, his family. A sudden loneliness came over Lucas with an unknown force. He had no wish to stay with humans anymore; what good were they anyway? They were only selfish, demanding things from him that he couldn't give, seeing only themselves and their own wishes. Lucas felt like he had no friends in this world, nobody who loved him. Yes, in the back of his mind there was a small voice, telling him that this wasn't true, that he did have friends who loved him for who he was. Friends like Ben, Captain Bridger and Justine.

But Lucas couldn't believe this voice anymore. For him, all humans were the same right now and they were all bad.

Eventually Lucas fell to an exhausted sleep even though it was still early in the evening. His dreams were confused; swirling pictures of dolphins and faces that he couldn't quite place and mixed shadows of known emotions.

When Bridger came to look after him later that evening he found the boy deep asleep, curled up to a ball, with his clothes and shoes still on. Smiling the Captain removed Lucas' shoes and pulled a blanket over his sleeping form before he watched him for a short while.

"I'm sorry, kiddo," he whispered. "I didn't want to push you." Bridger stroked a stray of Lucas' blonde hair out of his face and found the boy's skin surprisingly warm to his touch. Maybe the teenager had caught a small virus of something – surely nothing to worry about. He would let the boy sleep now; tomorrow was still early enough to let Dr Westphalen have a look at him if it was necessary.

*Sleep is the best medicine.* Bridger told himself as he left Lucas' room quietly.

Late at the next morning Justine knocked at Lucas' door as she wanted to pick him up for breakfast like she had done frequently the past week. On her way to the teenager's quarters she had met Ben Krieg who was a little frustrated for he been unable to convince O'Neill to get him some 'extra time' on the vid phone.

Ben's shift was scheduled to start only in an hour and so he had decided to join Justine and Lucas in a second breakfast. He hadn't spent much time with the boy lately and wanted to make up for this now.

So Ben stood behind Justine as she knocked on Lucas' door for about the fifth time without getting a response. Giving up the idea of any politeness – not that he would have had any if Justine hadn't been there – Ben finally reached forward and simply opened the door. Knowing Lucas the boy was probably caught up by one of his books or listening to music with his headphones and couldn't hear them. For a short moment it registered in the back of Ben's mind that he hadn't seen Lucas anywhere near his beloved computers for weeks and wondered if this held any meaning.

However these thoughts were washed away immediately when Ben stepped closer to the boy who was still deep asleep on his bunk. Lucas' cheeks were deep red, standing in contrast to his pale, shaking lips. On the teenager's forehead Ben could see drops of sweat and he was shivering violently. Justine was standing behind Ben and gave a small shriek at this sight.

"Lucas!" She rushed to his side and stroked across his forehead. Lucas whimpered softly but didn't wake up.

"He's so hot!" The young woman told Ben, the concern clearly audible in her voice.

"Maybe it's best if we take him directly to Med Bay." Ben suggested. At Justine's nod he bent down and picked the teenager carefully up. Again Lucas whimpered but didn't wake. In his sleep he snuggled more closely to Ben's chest, searching instinctively the warmth of his body.

Lucas didn't notice how he was carried to Med Bay but in his dreams he was suddenly comforted by a new warmth in his near, warming his own shivering body from the cold that clung to his bones.

Lucas was swimming in the ocean with the dolphins once again. The water was cool upon his skin, caressing his body as he moved in the sea. Lucas looked at his family; the dolphins swimming beside him. He could hear their whistles and clicks, asking him to play with them. Some of the younger ones bumped into him but their touch felt more like a stroking hand upon him. The teenager was absolutely happy. When he looked down on his own body he could see the contours of his hands begin to fade away, taking more and more the shape of fins. His pale skin slowly turned grey-blue and Lucas knew that he resembled more and more a real dolphin. Lucas gave a happy whistle – everything was perfect now.   
But suddenly his surroundings changed and Lucas found himself standing on a beach, back in human form. The sun was burning down from the sky with not a single cloud to reduce her intensity. When Lucas looked down to the beach again he was confronted with a terrible scene: The dolphins of his pod were lying on the beach, dying, the hot sun burning their sensitive skin more and more with every passing second. Immediately Lucas tried to pull them back into the ocean but as soon as the dolphins were in the sea they let themselves be carried back onto the beach by the waves again. Lucas kept on trying to bring them back into the water; he cried and whistled to them to stay away from the land but the animals didn't obey. Lucas was fighting to be able to pull their weight, the dolphins were so heavy on the land. The teenager knew that if he wasn't fast enough they would suffocate from the weight of their own muscles on their lungs. Lucas was breathing heavily, his lungs didn't seem to be able to get enough air, and he was sweating. The sun was still burning down mercilessly, making him sweat even more. Finally Lucas broke down, unable to do it anymore. The whole pod was lying on the beach again next to each other. The sun was glistening on their skin of their elegant bodies, giving the scene an supernatural, horrible beauty. The dolphins' dying whistles and clicks filled the air, together with the cries of the seagulls that were flying in circles above their heads, sounding like a lamentation of death. Slowly the sounds of the dolphins grew more and more silent and began to fade away. And Lucas knew that this meant that the dolphins were either too weak to whistle anymore or already dead. The boy was breathing heavily with a big lump in his throat and tears flowing freely down his face. His mother was lying directly next to him. Her cries too were becoming seldom as she grew weaker and weaker with every passing moment. Lucas stared into her eyes, those wonderful deep black pools of wisdom and love. He didn't take his eyes of hers for one second, willing her to live on, but he knew it was too late. The sadness that was speaking out of her eyes was telling him the truth. Lucas didn't even attempt to stop his tears. He stroked over his mother's skin – he knew it would be the last time. Eventually the dolphin gave a final weak whistle – her goodbye to Lucas. Then her eyes became dull. She was dead. A heavy silence fell over the beach that was filled with the bodies of the dead dolphins. It was an almost grotesque sight to see so many of them lying dead next to each other, the dolphins that were one of the most famous symbols of live and vitality. Lucas was standing between them, looking around. Everything was silent, even the seagulls above him seemed to grieve for the loss in their unusual silence. A gentle breeze had begun to swell, carrying the salty scent of the ocean over to Lucas, mixed with the scent of sea grass, alga and fish and the smell of death. Lucas looked down on his hands. They were covered with blood, the blood of his only family. Lucas laid his head back and finally gave a bloodcurdling scream of desperation and grief.   
Just as he was screaming out all his misery the scene changed yet again. The bodies of the dolphins disappeared and Lucas found himself in a small room with white walls. He looked down on himself, he was a young boy again, maybe ten years old. When he looked up again a woman was standing in front of him with short blonde hair and piercing green eyes. "Tell how you do it." She said. "Come on, Milan, you have to tell me. I need to know. Tell me how you talk with the dolphins, Milan. You can't go back unless you tell me." The young Lucas shivered. "But isn't the vocoder enough for you?" he asked her. The woman's face changed and Dr Westphalen laughed. "Not anymore!" Lucas squeezed his eyes shut, trying to suppress the terror inside him.   
When he heard a new voice he opened his eyes again. An old man with tanned skin and white hair was standing where the other woman with the British accent had been (what was her name again?). "Hey, kiddo," the man said. "You have to tell us. And I have a game for you, you'll like it!" Suddenly Lucas was surrounded by gigantic faces who were all laughing at him. There were those two women he had first seen and the old man with the soft voice. Then there was a girl with green eyes like the first woman. And a man with dark hair and an incredible grin on his face. Then there were two more men, one with glasses and one with curly hair and the color of a Latin American. And a woman with piercing blue eyes and short hair and a dark skinned man with a very serious look on his face. All the people held a familiarity but the teenager couldn't place them. The faces were dancing and swirling around Lucas, getting faster and faster. Their evil laughter was sounding in his ears. They were so loud... Lucas put his hands over his ears, but their laughter was still ringing in his head. He screamed and fled from the small room with his head bent down and his hands still over his ears.   
A door appeared in front of him and the teenager ran through it. Suddenly he was on a long corridor. Lucas heard the pounding of his feet on the iron grating of the floor and saw the blue light shining from the strange tubes filled with water next to the corridor. Finally he reached a small room and ran inside it. It was completely dark. In a corner Lucas let himself slide down to the ground. He grew his knees up to his chin and hugged himself. He had escaped them, at least for a short while... Slowly he began rocking himself back and forth, back and forth. From time to time a short whimper escaped from his lips or a tear slid down his cheeks, otherwise he did nothing. And like that he remained. Alone in the dark room.

Captain Bridger woke with a start. Slightly disorientated he looked around. He was lying on a bed in Med Bay and a look at his clock told him that it was 4 o'clock in the morning. But what had woken him? When the sound started again Bridger realized what it was: Lucas. The boy was lying in his bed and was tossing and turning in his sleep. Yet again. He had done this since he was brought in three days ago by Ben and Justine.

It had been a shock when the boy was carried into Med Bay that morning. He had a severe fever and wouldn't wake up. Dr Westphalen gave him antibiotics to decrease the fever, but at first Lucas' body wouldn't react to it. His temperature was still rising and he got deliriously. Captain Bridger had handed over the Bridge to Commander Ford and was constantly at the boy's side. The old man blamed himself terribly – he had seen Lucas the night before he was found ill. He had seen that he was developing a fever and had done nothing. So maybe it was his fault that the teenager was now here like this? Would they have been able to do anything, had he brought Lucas to Med Bay immediately? Dr Westphalen had told him no, that it wouldn't have changed a thing. But still the sting of doubt remained in Bridger's mind.

On the other side of the room someone was moving. Ben Krieg and Justine were sitting asleep in chairs at the wall of the room. They too had been here ever since they brought Lucas in. Ben only left when it was absolutely necessary to go to his shift and Justine refused to leave the teenager's side altogether. The two had fallen asleep on the chairs, Justine's head leaning on Ben's shoulder. Right now they – or at least one of them – seemed to wake up to the noise. Bridger's eyes had by now adjusted to the dimness in the room and so he could see Ben standing up, careful not to wake the young woman at his side, and walking over to Lucas.

The two men stood side by side, looking down on their friend. Lucas was still tossing and turning, caught up in a nightmare that he couldn't wake up from. Bridger stepped to his side and stroked across the boy's head, whispering soothing nonsense. The teenager's skin was still warm, but no longer as hot as it had been only days earlier. The Captain silently thanked whatever God for it. It had been a terrible time. Lucas fever had gone up and he had been shivering violently. The doctor and his friends had been at his side constantly but had been unable to do anything. Lucas had gone deliriously, mumbling and whistling from time to time in his troubled sleep. The second night had been the worst. Lucas' fever had reached its absolute highlight. Dr Westphalen had already pumped the boy full of drugs but they hadn't yet showed any effect. The doctor had been afraid that Lucas might even die but had decided not to inform the Captain of this possibility. He was already sick with worry and this would have been the final blow for him. In that night they all – Captain Bridger, Dr Westphalen, Ben and Justine – had stayed with Lucas, praying silently, talking to the boy and cooling his hot body with cold wet cloths. But still Lucas had tossed and turned, even lashed out in his sleep, whistling shrilly with tears streaming down his cheeks. Then once he gave a bloodcurdling scream that shocked his friends deeply. But after that the antibiotics had finally begun to show effect and the fever had slowly gone down.

Since then they had been waiting for the boy to wake up. Which he should do any moment now as Dr Westphalen had said. But this hadn't been the case. Until now.

Bridger was still stroking the teenager's forehead and Ben had taken the boy's hand into his. Slowly he calmed down again until he was absolutely still. Ben was just getting ready to go and settled down in his chair again when he felt Lucas squeeze his hand. The Lieutenant jumped from shock.

"Captain..." he said and gestured into the boy's direction. The old man understood immediately and leaned closer to Lucas again.

"Kiddo? Come on, it's time to wake up!" he whispered in his ear.

Lucas' eyelids began to flutter and then slowly opened. His gaze was empty and dull. Bridger leaned even closer so that the boy was looking at him and gently stroked his cheek while Ben patted his hand.

"Hey, kiddo. How are you?" The Captain asked him.

Lucas looked at him for a moment, before he let his eyes wander over to Ben and then to the aqua tubes where Darwin had just shown up as if he had sensed that Lucas had woken up. Bridger saw how the teenager moved his lips but he make out the words.

"Excuse me, what did you say, Lucas?" he asked. "I couldn't hear you..."

Lucas turned his look back on the Captain; his eyes were so empty. He remained silent for a while, simply looking at the man next to him. Just when Ben thought that he wouldn't answer and was about to ask him something Lucas spoke up. He whispered only, his soft weak voice barely audible. But still the five words were enough to shock both men standing next to him to no end:

"Light is dark and one."


	8. Chapter 8

Bridger stared down at Lucas, his hands and lips shaking violently. No, he couldn't have heard it, Lucas hadn't said this – it simply couldn't be! The old man looked over to Lieutenant Krieg and saw his own feelings mirrored in the other man's eyes.

Ben was the first of them to find his voice again. "No, Lucas," he said, his voice cracking, "You can't mean that." Ben stroked the boy's hand reassuringly but Lucas pulled it back. With some difficulty he sat up in his bed and hugged himself. Lucas stared pointedly at Ben who found it hard to withstand the gaze. Lucas looked like he was incredibly tired despite the fact that he had more or less slept for the past three days. His eyes were dull and he looked at Ben as if he was a dream.

And for Lucas it all seemed like a dream, in a haze. In his dreams it had all been so real, the dolphins, his family, the beach, his mother dying, the room with the faces! Or had it been real and now this was a dream? Lucas wasn't able to tell. In a way it wasn't important anymore what was real and what not. All that Lucas wanted to do was go home to his family and find peace. He couldn't stand it any longer. It was all so senseless and confusing.

Willing his friend to understand him, Lucas repeated his words. "Light is dark and one." Then his eyelids grew too heavy and he fell asleep again.

The two men at his bedside stared at each other with unbelieving eyes. How could this be? The meaning of Lucas' words was clear to both of them. There had been the time when Darwin was very sick and had always repeated those five words. It had taken the crew some time to come to understand what the dolphin had meant with it; it had been an old friend of Bridger who had given them the final clue: light was the knowledge and dark the absence of it. Clearly spoken this had meant that Darwin was losing all his knowledge and didn't want to die alone – and they had granted the animal his wish and had let him go. And now Lucas was saying exactly these words! Did that mean that...? Bridger couldn't bring himself to end the sentence, not even mentally. He gulped hard against the lump in his throat and addressed Ben:

"I think we should inform Dr Westphalen. She needs to know this." As an afterthought he added, "Oh, and tell Justine also."

"Aye, Sir." Ben found some comfort in his known role, with the Captain keeping a cool head and giving the orders. It was in moments like these that Ben knew that he wasn't born for the job of a Captain – he would never be able to react so thoughtful in personal moments like this. With a nod and a last look at the sleeping Lucas the Lieutenant turned and left the room to wake Dr Westphalen. When he had just reached the door he heard the Captain speak up again.

"What on earth are we going to do?" he mumbled. Ben wasn't able to give an answer to this but he guessed that Bridger hadn't expected it anyway.

The old man was left alone in the room with Lucas. He stared down on the teenager's sleeping form. His features seemed troubled in his sleep, like he was having unpleasant dreams.

"Oh, kiddo, kiddo..." Bridger whispered, "What are we going to do with you?"

" 'Light is dark and one' ? What does that mean?" Justine asked quizzically after Ben told her that Lucas had woken shortly during the last night and said this. She was sitting in Dr Westphalen's office together with the doctor, Ben and Captain Bridger. Each of them had a cup with steaming black coffee in front of them to become fully awake; it was still very early, only quarter past five.

The young woman wasn't able to make sense of these words, however, she had seen the doctor's reaction to them: the elder woman had visibly paled the moment she heard the words and pleaded "Oh, no!". So this actually had to mean something!

The three other people exchanged short glances, then Bridger spoke up.

"You see, we had something like this happen to us once..." With that he explained to Justine what had happened when Darwin was repeating these words. During his story the young woman also paled slowly. When the Captain was finished she moaned softly and buried her head in her hands.

"Oh, Lord! So does that mean that Lucas wants us to let him go, too?" Justine voiced the question that all of them had feared to say out loud. She was met with a deafening silence for a minute or two as the three members of the seaQuest found themselves unable to answer this question.

Finally Bridger cleared his throat, feeling the need to say something. "Well, honestly I have to say that this might be, with a big probability..." He said, staring at his hands.

"No." Dr Westphalen said suddenly with a determined voice. "I'm not willing to accept that so easy! That might have been the fever talking or something else! I say we wait till Lucas is awake again and see. And then I'll examine him carefully; I'm sure we can help him and it'll work out just like last time! You remember how desperate we were before Justine arrived and then he got better again almost instantly!" The doctor took a deep breath and looked around. The other nodded. She was right. They couldn't give up just like that! There was no real reason for that. Determined they stood up.

Lieutenant Krieg looked at his watch and swore under his breath. "Damn! I'm already late for my shift. One day Commander Ford is going to have my head for this!" He looked up at Dr Westphalen. "You'll tell me when you find out anything?" He asked. "I'll try to be back as soon as possible."

The woman nodded simply. "I'll start examining right away and we'll see." With that they stood up. Justine was going to accompany the doctor and stay at Lucas' side. Ben hurried out of the room and towards the Bridge, hoping sincerely that Commander Ford would show some understanding even if Ben couldn't tell him exactly why he was late again – of course it was because of Lucas but Ben couldn't tell the Commander what had happened this night. Captain Bridger had said that was going to inform the crew himself if it was really necessary. But right now they were all still clinging to the small hope that Lucas hadn't meant the same thing as Darwin had done.

Captain Bridger also excused himself; he would go to his quarters for a while. The old man was fighting an internal struggle. While he wanted to watch Lucas for the whole time to find out the true meaning of his words he knew that he needed to get himself together again. Right now he was on the edge of losing control over himself and he knew that he couldn't do that; he was the Captain and even if the world was falling apart he needed to remain in control for the sake of those who trusted him. But being the one to keep his cool had never been so hard before! This was one of the rare occasions in which Bridger wished that he could have stayed on his island and led the peaceful life of a hermit.

When he reached his quarters Bridger headed directly for the small bathroom that was linked to his room – one of the few luxuries that the post of a Captain held. There he turned on the cold water of the washbasin and splashed his face repeatedly, trying to ease the heat that was coursing through his body and the throbbing headache. Bridger buried his head in his hands and took some deep breaths. The water was still running, its sound comforting in a strange way against the quiet of the room. After a few minutes Bridger finally lifted his head again and stared into the mirror. His own face was staring back at him, his eyes burning in their intense.

Then the Captain let out his breath determined and straightened his shoulders. He turned off the water and headed back into his room where he switched on the video hologram of the Professor. With a hiss the mist on which the Professor was hologramed came blowing down and the virtual man's features got clearer.

"Hello Captain." The Professor's technical voice greeted Bridger.

"Hello." It didn't strike Bridger as strange anymore that he was talking to a computer-face that was merely accessing different sources of information to give its answers. In the time that he had spent aboard the seaQuest Captain Bridger had grown to accept and even like the conversations with the hologram that helped him find his ease again in difficult times or to overcome smaller personal crisis.

"You seem troubled." The Professor detected in his calm computer-way.

"Lucas woke up from his fever early this morning." Bridger said and sighed.

"Well, this seems like a good thing me, considering that the young Mister Wolenczak was very sick for the last days and you were very worried. So why this rather depressive mood?" The hologram stated in its neutral voice.

Bridger sighed again and started pacing in his room. "Yes, you should think that we'd be overjoyed with this development. But you don't know yet what Lucas said when he woke up." He paused, tortured by this memory. In his mind Bridger still could hear the pleading tone in the teenager's voice. "He said: 'Light is dark and one.' The same thing that Darwin said when he was so sick and wanted to leave the seaQuest to return to his pod."

"And now you are worried that the young Mister Wolenczak is asking for the same thing?" The Professor inquired.

"Yes." Bridger confessed mostly to himself. "I don't know what I am supposed to do... and I'm also afraid what will happen if he means exactly that..."

"Happens to whom? To him or to you?" Truth to be told this was the actual question for Bridger now. In the relatively short time that they had known each other Lucas had grown immensely important to the Captain. The teenager had been one of the main reasons why Bridger had stayed on the seaQuest after the 'Stark-incident'. He had brought new joy in the old man's sad life with his brilliant mind, his youthful mischief, his ever helpful and friendly manner and his repeating proofs of his unconditional trust in the Captain. There were days when the old man didn't know how he deserved all this. The thought of loosing this all again hurt more than anything else.

"I'm not sure..."

"Well, but you let the dolphin go when he asked for it." Another simple statement from the hologram that highlighted exactly what was troubling the Captain.

"Yes, because it turned out to be the only way. But it hurt though." Bridger paused. "It was one of the hardest decisions in my life for me."

"And maybe it's time for another decision like that."

Bridger stared at the swaying picture of the man for a long while, thinking, fighting with himself. Finally he said: "Maybe you are right. What matters now is what's best for Lucas and not what I want. But that doesn't make things easier for me."

"Life has never been easy – you should know that by now I would have guessed."

"Yeah, we'll just have to see..." Bridger looked at his clock. "I think I'll go now and look after Lucas for myself..." As an afterthought he added. "Thank you."

The hologram gave an accepting nod just before the Captain shut it off. The Professor was right, he mused, turning to leave his quarters. Life had never been easy and that was what made it worth living.

Meanwhile Dr Westphalen had been examining Lucas who had woken up shortly after she returned to Med Bay with Justine. Lucas had once again endured the whole procedure without saying a word. The teenager was sitting on his bed with behavior bearing much resemblance to the one he had shown before Justine had come to seaQuest. He was staring at his hands in complete silence and showed no resistance when he was moved around or probed by the doctor. Neither he responded to any of her careful questions and attempts to make him talk. Lucas' mind seemed to be leagues away, in a land of dreams. His eyes were dull and his hands were shaking lightly – the fever had taken very much out of his already weakened body and these effects showed.

After listening to his breathing Dr Westphalen put the stethoscope away, quite satisfied with the results of her medical examination: While Lucas' sickness – whatever it had been caused by – wasn't cured to a hundred percent yet, the boy should be physically fine and back to normal in a few days. And with some more rest and care he would quickly get stronger again, too.

However, what had Dr Westphalen worried was Lucas' absent-minded behavior. It was just like it had been before Justine had helped the teenager to come out of it.

"Lucas," the doctor probed once again. "Come on my boy... Please tell us what's going on... Lucas!" She took him by the shoulders and gave the boy a light shaking, trying to get a reaction out of him. But Lucas only turned his head away so that he didn't have to look into Dr Westphalen's eyes. The woman sighed deeply and patted his head before she turned away. Justine was standing in the back of the room, watching her young friend quietly. Dr Westphalen nodded at her, indicating the Justine should talk to Lucas now.

Taking a deep breath the young woman stepped to the boy's side and took up his hands to let him know that she was there. Lucas ignored her.

"Hey Lucas!" Justine spoke to him in a quiet voice. "How are you doing?" Silence was the only answer she got.

"You know, you had us worried for quite a while but Dr Westphalen said that you'll be fine soon. What do you say now?" Lucas still kept silent, staring at his hands which Justine was stroking the whole time.

"Come on, Lucas, talk to me. They say that you want to leave us, that you want to go – is that really true?" When Lucas still wouldn't answer Justine gently took his face into her hands and turned it towards her so that the teenager had to look at her. However, Lucas let his eyes wander away, trailing through the room without remaining at one spot for more than a second. Eventually Lucas looked at Justine and they locked eyes. Green eyes stared into grey ones.

"Come on, Lucas, tell me what's going on! You know that you can trust me!" Justine whispered with an urgent tone.

Lucas was sitting in the corner of the dark room, rocking himself back and forth. The laughing faces had disappeared. He was finally alone. Alone in the dark. He didn't know how long he had been here or what was going to come next. A heavy, deafening silence lay around him like a cloak. Lucas was worried for his family. What had happened to the dolphins? They had simply disappeared and then the boy had run away from the faces of those people. Lucas still had the feeling that he knew them but he just couldn't quite place them. Then he pushed this glimpse of a thought away – what mattered now was his family! They were hurt, or even dead – or had it all merely been a dream? Anyway, Lucas had to get to them. But how?

Suddenly Lucas felt something caressing his cheek. Mother? No, there was only a young woman – she had been one of the faces. What was she doing here in his corner of the dark room? The woman's lips were moving; maybe she was saying something but Lucas couldn't make out the words. Instead he looked around. What had happened to the dark room? Lucas was now sitting on a soft bed in a light room. In the wall of steel there was a tube made of glass and it was filled with – water! All water was flowing to a stream and all streams were eventually leading to the ocean. So if he could follow the tube, maybe Lucas could get to the ocean and find his family. But Lucas knew that he wouldn't be able to do it alone. He had no idea how to get out of here but perhaps the woman could help him – after all she had found him here in the darkness that had surrounded him. And she seemed nice enough to him. Her green eyes were piercing his; deep calm pools. Her lips were moving again. This time Lucas could make out some of the words.

"... Lucas... tell... going on... trust..."

But it was rather the sound of her voice than what the woman said that registered to Lucas' mind. Her pleasant voice was soft, but with a hidden strength that woke his trust. If anyone would understand that Lucas needed to go back to the ocean to his family it would be her. The boy only had to make her understand! So he decided to give it a chance; it was all or nothing now.

When Bridger entered Lucas' room in Med Bay he found Justine standing in front of the boy, staring into his eyes. And Lucas was looking back at her in complete silence, his body unmoving. The Captain was about to greet Lucas by announcing that he was back but Dr Westphalen who was standing a few feet away from him silenced Bridger with a gesture of her hand. Lucas hadn't been anywhere close to this attentive since he woke up and now the doctor didn't want Justine to loose the boys attention.

So Bridger kept silent and merely watched the young pair. For minutes the room was completely silent. Lucas seemed to be thinking very concentrated about something. After what seemed like an eternity Lucas slowly, almost hesitantly licked his lips, wetting them so that he could say something. Then he squeezed Justine's hands lightly and leaned a little forward to her face. The boy's gaze was extremely intense as if he was willing Justine to understand him as he spoke.

His voice was hoarse and Lucas was fighting to get out the words, stressing each of them.

"Light... is dark... and one!"

The threesome could only stare at Lucas for a minute. Bridger felt a heavy lump come to his throat and he noticed out of the corner of his eyes how Dr Westphalen held a hand in front of her mouth trying to suppress a sob.

"Oh my God!" she whispered.

For her too there was no longer any doubt: Lucas was asking to leave. Anybody who heard the boy's tone and saw his desperate eyes had to see and admit it. But even though the Captain, the doctor and Justine couldn't deny it any longer would they also be able to accept it?

Bridger was still fighting to win his voice back in order to say something when he noticed that they had lost the teenager's attention. Lucas was looking at the aqua tubes with the smallest smile finding its way to his lips. The Captain didn't have to turn around to know that Darwin was there.

Now the dolphin was the new center of Lucas' attention. The boy slowly stood up from his place on the examination table, gathering all his strength, and walked past the three adults, ignoring their looks completely. He slowly made his way across the room towards the tube, swaying. His step was insecure and slow, several times he was close to stumbling. But Darwin's eyes were firmly fixed on him and kept him going. Finally Lucas reached his destination, breathing heavily. Darwin nodded happily and clicked and whistled various tones. A smile – a little strained though – spread across Lucas' face. The boy traced the dolphin's outlines on the glass of the tube, trying to touch him. Darwin swam even closer, his snout touching the tube. Lucas placed his right hand exactly over the animal's snout, bringing them as close together as the glass would allow it. The teenager's breaths came very fast, he seemed to be close to hyperventilating, yet his eyes sparkled.

Bridger stepped unnoticed behind Lucas, amazed by the sight. It had been a long time since they had seen Lucas so content for the last time. It fitted that once again Darwin had achieved it. The teenager breathed a delighted tone that sounded very much like a laughter.

"Dar... Dar... Darwin..." he mumbled.

"Yes, that's right!" Bridger exclaimed behind him. The boy whirled around and looked fearfully at the Captain who had frightened him. The old man raised his hands, showing his palms to Lucas, indicating that he wouldn't harm him. The Captain tried to keep his voice calm as he continued. "It's alright... That's Darwin. Darwin." He thought for a moment then asked, "Do you want to meet him, Lucas?" The Captain threw a checking glance in Dr Westphalen's direction – she nodded.

She had seen for herself that Lucas was physically fine and furthermore she would be the last to stand in Lucas' way now.

"Sure. I'll go with you." She said and gave Lucas an encouraging smile. But the boy was already looking at the dolphin only again. Bridger gently took him by the shoulders and steered him towards the door.

"Come on, Lucas, I'll take you to the Moon Pool" Then he turned to Darwin and pointed his finger at him. "And you'll also meet us there, pal!"

The dolphin nodded and sped off. Lucas stretched his head to try and follow the animal with his eyes. He was so concentrated on his task that he didn't resist when Bridger led him down the corridors with Dr Westphalen and Justine in close pursuit. Lucas wasn't the only one eager to come to the Moon Pool and see the dolphin.

Shortly after the four entered the Moon Pool area Darwin surfaced and greeted them happily. Dr Westphalen indicated to the few scientists working in the area to leave them alone; they obeyed quietly, knowing that the doctor would have her reasons for this request. Lucas immediately walked over to the side of the pool and stroked Darwin. His breathing was very fast now, his forehead and upper lip were beaded in sweat and the boy had a look of intense concentration on his face as he listened to the dolphin's whistles. The doctor and Justine stayed in the background to give Lucas some space while Captain Bridger stepped over to the vocoder and flicked it on. As soon as Bridger was a few steps away, Lucas took his chance and climbed to Darwin into the pool, soaking his clothes completely.

"Hey, Lucas, come out!" Justine protested. "The water is freezing and without a suit you'll catch a cold."

Like expected Lucas ignored her. He grabbed Darwin's dorsal fin and the dolphin pulled him deeper into the pool. There Lucas clinched close to Darwin, seeming unwilling to ever let go again. His wet blonde hair framed his pale face, his reddened cheeks standing out in stark contrast to the whiteness. The boy's grey eyes were sparkling with the joy of being with the dolphin.

Captain Bridger watched the pair for a minute. Lucas appeared to be much more relaxed now that he was with Darwin – like it had always been, the Captain mused. The two had always been so much in tune and now the crew finally knew why. Bridger's musing was disturbed by Dr Westphalen.

"Nathan," she said urgently, "Lucas has to get out. His body isn't strong enough yet. He'll get sick again."

Bridger nodded. As much as he hated to do this, the doctor was right. So he took up the vocoder and called Darwin – he doubted seriously that Lucas himself would have listened to him.

"Darwin! Darwin, Lucas has to come out now." He said.

The dolphin looked at Bridger but didn't move towards him. "Lucas no want out." He said instead. "Lucas Darwin swim. Lucas no go."

Bridger nodded; he had expected this. So he continued patiently. "Darwin, I know that Lucas wants to stay with you. But the water is too cold and Lucas has been sick for a long time. And if he doesn't come out he will get sick again and can't swim with you anymore."

This seemed to convince Darwin. He turned to Lucas, nudged into the boy's side with his snout and gave a few fast whistles. Bridger waited for the translation of the vocoder as he wanted to know what Darwin had said to Lucas – but none came. The vocoder's error light blinked. It hadn't been able to define the "words" that Darwin had used. But Lucas seemed to have understood them nevertheless. However, he didn't look very convinced by them. Yet, he trusted the dolphin enough not to resist as he pulled the boy back to the three waiting people. Captain Bridger and Dr Westphalen helped him climb out of the pool. Lucas lips were already turning blue and he was shivering violently. So Justine and the doctor led Lucas away to get him some dry clothes. While being walked out the boy threw longing glances back at the dolphin before the three walked around a corner. Bridger stayed with Darwin. When the threesome were gone he turned back to the dolphin.

"Hey pal," he bent down and petted the animal's bump gently. "Thank you for your help. I don't think we would have convinced Lucas to come out of the pool without your help."

Darwin gave a proud blow, spraying the Captain. "Lucas Darwin friend. Darwin help." He declared simply.

"I know that Darwin. I know that you are Lucas' friend. But I am also his friend and as his friend I want to help him. But for that I have to really understand Lucas' problem and what he expects me to do. and that's why I need your help now, pal. Do you understand Lucas?"

"Darwin Lucas friend. Darwin understand."

"Can you tell me?" Bridger asked and leaned closer unconsciously.

Darwin nodded. "Lucas light is dark and one." He said the words that Bridger was beginning to hate so much like it was the clearest thing in the world.

Bridger sighed deeply. "Yes Darwin, Lucas said the same thing. But what does that mean? You have to tell me pal."

The dolphin gave an annoyed blow, seeming frustrated by the Captain's ignorance. But then he explained nevertheless. "Lucas sad. Lucas miss pod. Lucas afraid. Lucas leave seaQuest. Lucas go back to pod." After that Darwin gave a last blow and dove away in search of his friend. The audience was over. Bridger was left alone in the wide area of the pool. The only sound was the splashing of the water.

In strong contrast to his shocked, immobile exterior Bridger's mind was racing. 'Lucas miss pod' They had strongly suspected this from the beginning: Lucas was longing for the family he had grown up with. Justine's presence had enough of a substitute for a while but wasn't any longer. 'Lucas go back to pod' What Lucas really needed was his true family - the dolphins.

'Lucas leave seaQuest' This was what hit Bridger the most. That Lucas really wanted to leave the seaQuest. To leave him. The boy had become like a son to Bridger in the short time they had known each other. The old man didn't know what he would do it he was to loose Lucas like he had lost Robert. Could he really let Lucas go? Would he be able to stand it, be able to make the decision?

But this wasn't about him Bridger reminded himself. It was about Lucas. And Lucas clearly wanted to leave. Like the Professor had said: It was time to make one of those decision which would were the hardest and of which you knew that they would change your life ultimately.

It was only that Bridger wasn't sure if he would be able to do it all alone this time and if he did whether it would be the right one.


	9. Chapter 9

Katie Hitchcock was actually known for keeping her cool head in the most difficult and demanding situations. But right now the Lieutenant was close to losing her temper and freaking out; close to knocking her ex-husband out cold and/or tying him down. It wasn't that she didn't understand him but Ben's constant pacing up and down the staff room floor was really wearing on her nerves.

About half an hour ago Captain Bridger had asked the entire Senior Staff to come to the Staff room because he wanted to tell them something important. After the last month's events it wasn't hard to guess that it would be something about Lucas. But what? Now the Senior Staff was waiting for the Captain to come and start the meeting; the only ones still missing were Dr Westphalen, Justine and the Captain himself.

Commander Ford and Chief Crocker were sitting at the table like Lieutenant-Commander Hitchcock while Lt. Ortiz and Lt. O'Neil were standing in the far corner of the staff room. Everyone was trying to distract themselves, more or less successfully: Ortiz and O'Neil were 'playing' with the technology, Chief Crocker kept folding and unfolding and refolding a handkerchief and Commander Ford was simply staring at his hands. Ben Krieg was pacing back and forth – much to Hitchcock's irritation and anger. Finally she couldn't stand it any longer. When Ben walked past her again she grabbed his wrist with an iron like grip and hissed, "For all that's holy, Ben, sit down or otherwise I won't guarantee for nothing!"

Ben stared at his ex-wife and abruptly stopped his pacing and brooding. Katie's icy blue eyes were flashing dangerously. Ben knew that glare and that tone in her voice very well from the last critical months of their marriage. They didn't allow any contradiction. Automatically Ben obeyed and sat down at a free seat next to the Lieutenant. Ben played with his fingers, trying to distract himself now that he couldn't pace anymore. But after less then three minutes he couldn't stand it any longer and he jumped up again, beating down onto the table with his fist.

"Oh, to hell with it!" he swore. "What do you think the Captain's going to tell us?" He looked around. The present members of the Senior Staff looked at him with worried faces. Some of them shrugged with their shoulders.

"Whatever it is, we'll know soon enough." Commander Ford stated and nodded towards the door. Dr Westphalen and Justine were just entering and shortly after them came Captain Bridger. The gathered crew stood in unison, showing their rightful respect to the Captain. Even Justine, who was a civilian, straightened her shoulders and stood in a respectful way, like all civil people do when surrounded by the military.

The Captain looked shortly at each of the members, the expression on his face unreadable.

"At ease," he said, "and have a seat."

The men and women did as bid and looked expectantly at Bridger. And the old man didn't keep them waiting for very long and came straight to the point.

"I think you will have guessed the reason for this meeting by now. It's about Lucas." With this introduction Bridger told them of the last days developments, beginning with Lucas' sickness, his 'light is dark and one', the meaning behind this demand and finally what Darwin had said about this. Some parts of what Bridger told them was already known to the crew, other things like Darwin's 'translation' simply left them stunned. Eventually Bridger finished his speech.

The room was completely silent; nobody said a word, not knowing what was to be said. Captain Bridger looked at his crew. Some of them were returning his looks – here and there in their eyes the Captain saw the betraying glittering of unshed tears; others refused to meet the old man's glare, unable to stand his unspoken question. Because that much was sure for the members of the Senior Staff: Had Bridger already known what he was going to do, he would have told them by now. But as this wasn't the case it could mean only one thing: Bridger was asking them to help him with the decision of whether to grant Lucas his wish or not, though so far Bridger hadn't voiced this directly. However, nobody felt able to do this now and say something. And so they sat in complete silence, the only sound was the breathing of nine people, sitting in the room.

Finally Justine couldn't stand it any longer. Someone had to say something, had to break the silence. And – since she was the one who had known Lucas the longest and therefor better than the others – Justine felt she should be the one. No matter what the others might think or say, should the Captain ask her point to black if she would let Lucas go, Justine's decision was already made – as it had been for years now, for secretly the young woman had feared for a long time that this day might come eventually: The day when Lucas would demand to go back into the ocean. And it was clear to Justine that she wouldn't keep her friend from doing what his heart told him to do. It seemed that now was the time that Lucas' friends aboard the seaQuest had to make up their minds as well and realize this. And it was in Justine's hands to make them understand the way she did.

She cleared her throat, indicating that she wanted to say something, and immediately all eyes in the room were focused upon her. Justine gulped nervously; this would be hard. After all, Lucas' friends had never seen the boy as anything special – okay, he was a genius and worked on a submarine at the age of fifteen, but for them he had never been that special. It was hard for the crew to imagine and to accept the life Lucas had led and it was also hard to accept that he might want to return to that life.

But Justine had to try and make them realize. She fought to make her voice sound casual, "I guess Lucas never told you why he chose the name 'Lucas' among all the given possibilities..." Two or three members of the Senior Staff shook their heads, others gave her quizzical looks – what was she trying to say?

Justine continued undeterred, answering her own question. "Of course he didn't... up until a short while ago you never knew that he chose his name himself and after that it wasn't exactly the one thing to talk about. But now I would like to tell you the story, because I think it might help you understand Lucas and his wish better. Well, when Lucas was about twelve years old, it was decided that he should live a 'regular' life in a normal family with a 'regular' name. Then someone said that Lucas might as well choose his new name himself since he had to live with it. So we – at that time I was already spending most of my free time at the institute with Lucas – anyway, we read a veeeerrrry long list of boys' names to Lucas. He listened intently to all of them, some he repeated quietly, at others he shook his head immediately. When we were finished with the list Lucas repeated some of the names again, listening to their sound. Finally he said in a convinced voice that he wanted to be called 'Lucas'. We asked him if he was sure about it and he said that, yes, if it had to be one of these names, it should be 'Lucas'. A few days later I asked him "Why 'Lucas'?" and he said it was the closest to his name in the dolphin language and when he would go back to the ocean and to the dolphins, he would have no problems to adjust to his name again..." Justine paused, her voice cracking a little. "Lucas was always convinced that he would go back one final day 'when he had lived with the humans long enough".

Having finished her story Justine looked around. Once again she was only met by a awkward silence from the members of the Senior Staff who were fighting with themselves to cope with what they heard – Justine's message had hit home. The process of understanding and accepting Lucas' way of life had set in. The young woman looked at the Captain – Bridger was one of the few in the crew who didn't avoid her gaze now. But while the glare that Ben had given her had been an unbelieving and almost angry one, like he was barely holding his temper, Bridger's expression was completely calm. He studied her face like she was studying his and Justine thought she could see in his eyes, how his mind was racing. Finally after what seemed like an eternity even though it couldn't have been longer than two minutes, Bridger broke their look, closed his eyes and heaved a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again the Captain wore a determined expression on his face and Justine simply knew that he had made his decision. The old man nodded towards her before he spoke up, all eyes in the room turning to him in an instant.

"I guess Justine's story pretty much sums up why we are here now: Lucas wants to leave the seaQuest and go back to the life he led with the dolphins. And he's asking us for permission to do that." Bridger paused shortly, gathering his thoughts. "But I can't do that." Ignoring Justine's sharp intake he continued, "I may be Captain of this boat and this crew but still I don't feel able to decided something like this all alone. So I am making this a team decision. I'll ask you straight to the point now: Hands up, who of you wants to let Lucas go back into the ocean?" Bridger was met with eight hard stares. Nobody moved, nobody raised his hand.

Bridger nodded. "I've expected that much. So, let me rephrase this question: Who of you is willing to let him go and grant Lucas his wish?"

Justine was the first to raise her hand; the others followed albeit hesitantly, exchanging doubtful looks. The Captain looked proudly at his crew. He hadn't expected any other reaction. Bridger himself was one of the last to bring his hand up. Then all eyes trailed expectantly to the only person whose hand wasn't raised.

Ben Krieg was sitting in his seat, looking miserably and beginning to breathe heavily. He saw his friends looking at him and felt his hands start to sweat. How could he do this? How could he send his best friend aboard the seaQuest, his partner in crime, the one he regarded as a younger brother; away to live in wilderness? Yet, this seemed to be exactly what Lucas wanted; Ben had been there when the boy asked for it. And the Lieutenant knew that he would never be able to forget Lucas' look and the tone of his voice when he said those damn five words.

Ben was struggling for a decision. He looked at Justine; the young woman was literally pleading him with her eyes to raise his hand. Those shining deep green eyes... Ben remembered a time, not so long ago, when Lucas' crystal blue eyes used to shine just like that, glittering with life and mischief as he and Ben planned one of their famous jokes. And what did the Lieutenant see now when he looked into the boy's eyes? A dull grey, devoid all feelings... With this thought Ben's decision was finally made. After a last look around he raised his hand ever so slowly, knowing fully that he was just ultimately abandoning his friend to his fate.

Justine smiled gratefully at him and Bridger also nodded approvingly. But Ben couldn't stand their looks right now, so he closed his eyes and bowed his head. Katie Hitchcock watched her ex-husband with concern. She knew that this had to be hard for him for she had seen how close Ben and the boy had grown over the last months. How would he deal with it? the Lieutenant-Commander wondered. Hitchcock was so deep in thoughts that she missed the Captain's next words.

"Okay, I think that settles it," he said. "Commander Ford, set course for the Cay Sal Bank north of Cuba. When we are there, I want you, Commander Hitchcock and Lieutenant Ortiz, to use every available W.S.K.R. to find the dolphin pod we saw the last time we were there. Any questions?"

"Actually, yes." Dr Westphalen spoke up, drawing the attention upon her. "What about Lucas' parents?"

"The Wolenczaks? Yeah, what about them?"

"Well, don't they have a say in this? After all, they are his legal parents."

At this point Justine interfered. "I have to contradict this," she said. "Mrs. and Dr Wolenczak have been responsible for Lucas for less than four years, a time that Lucas mostly spent at College. The Wolenczaks had about the least influence on Lucas' education or anything else. I don't think that they have the right to have any saying in this case now."

Bridger nodded. "I agree with Justine. The entire time that Lucas has been aboard this ship they haven't called once to see how he's doing." The Captain paused. He had always been appalled by the behavior of the Wolenczak couple towards their son. Even now that he knew that they weren't Lucas' biological parents, the fact that anybody could treat their child – biological or not – like this, showed him thus openly that they obviously didn't care the least about him, and it outraged Bridger. When he had calmed himself again, he continued. "We can contact them and tell them what we are going to do, but they won't be able to prevent this."

Dr Westphalen nodded in agreement. She wouldn't have had it any other way but still she had felt the need to bring up this question.

Captain Bridger looked at the members of the Senior Staff. "We are finished then, I think. You are dismissed."

The men and women stood up and strode out of the room. Hitchcock wanted to go over to Ben who had spent the rest of the meeting staring at his hands, in order to try and comfort him. But Ben quickly left the Staff room before anybody could stop him. He had already guessed what his ex-wife was going to try but he wouldn't have it now – first he had to come to terms with himself and the consequences of this decision concerning Lucas.

So all that Hitchcock could do was look at Ben's retreating back before she went to the Bridge to follow the Captain's orders.

While the biggest part of the Senior Staff went to the Bridge, the Captain's way led him, Dr Westphalen and Justine straight to Lucas to fill him in on the crew's decision.

They found the boy – where else could he have been – by the Moon Pool. One of the doctors from the Medical Department was assigned to look after him but Lucas had ignored him the entire time; he was busy playing with Darwin. Dr Westphalen relieved the man from his 'watching post' and sent him back to work in the Med Bay, which the doctor did gratefully and obviously relieved. It wasn't that he didn't like Lucas – in contrast, he had worked with the boy a few times before 'things went strange with Lucas' as the crew would secretly call it and had found him to be a cooperative, friendly and concentrated young man, always eager to please and to learn new things. However, now that Lucas had changed so drastically the doctor, like so many other people aboard the boat who didn't know the teenager better, felt in a way frightened by his presence and his behavior. It was as if a mystical aura surrounded the boy – the crew couldn't understand what he did and why, and it made them retreat farther from Lucas. So the doctor wasn't too reluctant to leave the boy with the Captain and the doctor and go back to his work.

Bridger followed the doctor with his eyes when he walked out. At the door he turned around to throw a last glance at Lucas and Bridger could literally read the doctor's mind at the sight of the boy. 'A real pity.' Then the man became aware of the Captain looking at him, turned away guiltily and left.

Bridger sighed a little at this. Yes, Lucas might seem oblivious to what was going on around him and what people were doing but Bridger was sure that the boy noticed how strange, how repelled people behaved around him. How could he not notice? It was practically screaming at him, radiating from everyone. No wonder the boy felt left alone. '... and one.'.

Well this would end soon Bridger decided grimly and took a step forward, stopping next to Lucas. The boy's attention, however, was focused on Darwin only, he continued his game. Whether Lucas hadn't noticed the three adults behind him or whether he was ignoring them on purpose, Bridger could not tell. Darwin was the one to react to their presence. When the teenager threw the ball back to Darwin the dolphin 'punched' it with his snout towards Bridger who caught it out of reflex. Lucas' eyes following the ball trailed upon the Captain and immediately the boy's body language changed. Becoming aware of the three adults, he knew that playing with Darwin was over; whenever all three, Captain Bridger, Dr Westphalen and Justine, came to him something was going on, mostly something bad. The small smile he had worn died on Lucas' lips and his face became expressionless again, his shoulders slumped down like someone had cut the strings on a puppet and Lucas looked aside. Bridger noticed the change sadly. Was the teenager really that uncomfortable around them?

Justine stepped forward and took Lucas' hands in her own, a gesture that made him look up at her. Justine smiled warmly at him.

"Lucas, I have wonderful news for you." She said. "You'll be going back into the ocean soon; back to your family! Isn't that great?" Lucas looked at her doubtfully, with his head tilted to one side like a small precise bird. He didn't seem to fully understand what Justine had just said. Then Darwin began to click and whistle at his side and Lucas turned to stare at the dolphin. His eyes became big and bigger and his mouth was hanging open; he wasn't yet believing what Darwin told him.

Lucas was breathing heavily when he turned to the three people standing next to him. He looked intently at them as if their mere sight could confirm the heard. But since it wasn't answering his unspoken question eventually Lucas was forced to ask them directly. He licked his lips and whispered hesitantly, in a very small, hoarse voice. "Really?"

Captain Bridger answered him with an smile and a nod. "Yes Lucas," he said. "Really. The entire Senior Staff made this decision together. We're heading towards Cuba and there you can go to the dolphins – that is, if that's what you want to do..." Despite the smile on his lips, Bridger's eyes were sad when they searched to make contact with the boy's. Lucas looked down at his feet, evading the looks of his friends. Dr Westphalen could see his lips moving, but no sound came from them. Then she heard him sniff repeatedly, and saw his shoulders shaking.

Was Lucas crying? Worried she asked. "Lucas? Lucas, what's going on?"

Slowly the boy looked up at them, his pale face framed by his blonde hair. In his eyes unshed tears were shining.

"Home..." Lucas whispered. "I'll be finally going home... after so long a time." The teenager was shaking violently by now, still fighting back his tears; tears of relief.

Bridger stepped forward and pulled him into a tight embrace. Lucas pressed his head against the old man's shoulder. After a minute the Captain felt how all the tension that had built up within the last weeks flooded out of the boy and how he started sobbing.

Bridger buried his face in the teenager's hair and mumbled sighing: "Kiddo... oh, kiddo..."

Lucas' small body wrecked with sobs as he groaned into the Captain's chest. "Home... finally – home..."

Time was a cruel thing, Captain Bridger mused, sitting at his desk in his quarters. When you were anxiously waiting for an event or you were unhappy and wanted time to pass faster, it would go by ever so slowly, each single second lingering behind, turning into an almost eternity. While, when you were happy or simply wanted to stop time to hold and savor a certain moment it, time was flying by, hours becoming seconds.

Right now the seaQuest crew was experiencing a classical case of the second category: They were heading for the area between Cuba and Florida where they would try to find the dolphin pod in question and Lucas would leave them. Their remaining ETA was less than 20 hours – not even an entire day. And while the Senior Staff had agreed to let the boy go everyone was hating the idea of Lucas leaving the seaQuest. The thought of loosing the boy who had become their close friend, or like a brother or a son to all of them, was unbearable. So it was natural that Lucas' friends were trying to spent as much time as possible with him.

Inwardly, or even openly like in O'Neil's case, they were praying that Lucas would stay with them. Did going back to the dolphins really have to mean leaving seaQuest? Wouldn't it be enough for the teenager to see his 'family' for while? The crew doubted that such a short visit would be sufficient but nevertheless they hoped for it. Hope always dies last.

Lucas was sitting by the Moon Pool most of the time, while various members of the Senior Staff kept him company; Justine for example never left the teenager's side. Lucas wasn't talking much, he did, however, pay a certain degree of attention to what people were telling him. The boy appeared to be more relaxed now that he knew that he would be brought back to his family. Yet, he seemed exhausted, his energy spent – like a marathon runner who could finally see the finishing line he had been striving for but didn't know if he would have strength left to reach it.

All these thoughts went through Bridger's head while he was sitting in his room. He had taken a break – vehemently forced by Dr Westphalen – and had called Bill Noyce to tell him about their plans. Of course Noyce wasn't exactly happy with it but he had shown understanding for the crew's decision. He had already predicted that the U.E.O. wasn't going to be too pleased about loosing their 'genius boy', one of the brightest minds in the organization. But Noyce had also promised the Captain that he wouldn't inform his superiors about this before Lucas was long gone from the seaQuest – they wouldn't have any interference in this beforehand.

Thinking about interference Bridger reached for the Comm Link and called to the Bridge.

"Lieutenant O'Neil, any luck in reaching Mrs. or Dr Wolenczak?"

"Unfortunately no, Sir." O'Neil's disembodied voice came back. "I've tried for hours now. All I was told is that Mrs. Wolenczak is on a business trip and can't be reached."

Even though O'Neil couldn't see it Bridger nodded – Lucas had told him once that it was always like that when he tried to reach his adoptive mother. But the Captain held back a rather unfriendly comment about the woman and asked instead: "And what about Lucas' father?"

"Well, at least I got through to his secretary who told me that Dr Wolenczak was in a very important meeting and couldn't be spoken to." The Lieutenant paused and Bridger could hear how angered he was by the way he spat out the next words. " When I called the next time, the man told me again that Dr Wolenczak was a very busy man but at least I got around to tell him that I was calling because of Lucas. Then Dr Wolenczak told me through his secretary that any legal or medical things were in your hand, Captain, ever since Lucas came aboard the seaQuest. And he added, I repeat word by word, should the boy have messed up something again, we were to contact his lawyer who would handle it." O'Neil finished his report with an angry snort.

Bridger too was furious about the doctor's reaction. Again all he could do was to tell himself to keep calm. "Thank you, Lieutenant. At least now we can say we tried." He shut down the Comm Link. Sighing, Bridger drove a hand through his graying hair. What a great pair the Institute had chosen to be Lucas' parents he thought sarcastically. Two people who would gratefully give away all responsibility at the first arising occasion to a man they hardly knew and then wouldn't bother to check on their son for one time! He slammed his fist down on the table, trying to release some tension. The old man couldn't define exactly what he was feeling now: Anger towards the Wolenczaks, pity for Lucas who had had to live with them or simply despair faced with the present situation. While anger was the easiest for now, Bridger knew it wouldn't do any good or change anything. None of it would!

The Captain had actually wanted to return to Lucas' side as soon as possible but decided against it for now. First he would take a shower, get some more rest and try to calm down some more. Lucas had always reacted very sensitive to the moods of people surrounding him and lately this sensitivity had been further increased . Any anger or frustration emanating from the Captain, whoever it was directed at, would make the boy retreat from Bridger. And he didn't want that to happen right now.

Telling himself that Lucas was in good hands right now and didn't need him that desperately, Bridger stepped into the shower and tried to let himself relax for a short while.

Meanwhile Justine and Katie Hitchcock were sitting quietly side by side on a staircase by the Moon Pool, watching Lucas. Music was playing softly from the speakers that normally gave the translation of the vocoder. But since Darwin was momentarily out feeding, they had decided to use the speakers in the room rather than setting up an extra stereo system in here. Lucas was standing a few feet away from the two women with his eyes closed, swaying slightly in time with the music, a content smile on his lips.

To Hitchcock it was an intriguing sight. Sure, she too like most people liked the rather soft tunes of classical music but never before had she seen anyone so taken with the music. It seemed as if Lucas had lost himself in a world beyond Hitchcock's understanding.

When the Lieutenant-Commander told Justine as much, the young woman answered her, nodding her head. "Yeah, it has been like that since the first time he was introduced to music. Obviously Lucas 'hears' it different from the way we do. Or rather, he feels it literally. Once he told me that it filled him in every vibe of his body, right down to the tip of his toes and that it made him feel like home." The two of them fell silent again, watching their mutual friend.

Hitchcock found that she enjoyed this silence very much. First she had been afraid, not knowing how to deal with Lucas now. When she had finished her shift on the Bridge, she had hesitated but eventually decided to come visit Lucas anyway – he was after all still her friend and deserved as much. From what she had heard pretty much the entire Senior Staff had been here by now. Captain Bridger and Dr Westphalen, of course, but also O'Neil and Ortiz had come as soon as they got the chance to do so. They had come and simply talked, entertaining Lucas with gossip from the boat, the newest sport events or anything they had been able to think of. And it had been clear that Lucas, in his shy and withdrawn manner, enjoyed their presence. Even Commander Ford and Chief Crocker had come to pay a visit. While they weren't as close to Lucas as the others, not because they didn't like the boy but simply for the lack of shared interest, it had been a nice gesture. When he was there Lucas had studied the Commander's face for several minutes and then smiled, as if he had found an answer to a question. And Ford who really wasn't the person for showing his feelings openly or for great words had smiled back and known deep down inside that Lucas regarded him as one of his true friends.

Hitchcock's musing was interrupted by Justine's soft voice. "I never believed Krieg was this low! Seems I was wrong..."

The Lieutenant-Commander looked at her quizzically. "Ben – low?! What do you mean?"

Justine turned to look at Hitchcock, her green eyes shining with a mixture of disappointment and anger. "I always thought that Krieg... Ben was Lucas' friend, at least Lucas told me so in his calls and letters. When I first arrived here, too, Ben seemed to care very much about Lucas and his welfare. But now? Now, that Lucas is going to leave? Everyone has been here to spent some time with him, even the Commander, even though he hadn't the slightest clue what to do or say. Only Ben hasn't shown up once since the Senior Staff meeting!" The young woman beat her fist angrily into her palm.

Hitchcock stared at her in surprise. She hadn't know of this. Ben of all people not coming to see Lucas? Justine had to be mistaken, this couldn't be! Nothing would keep her ex-husband away from his friend. Nothing – except for himself... Something really grave had to be going on.

"That can't be. I'm sure Ben has got a good reason..." She said, trying to convince herself.

"There better be!" Justine muttered. Then she looked at Hitchcock intently. "You know him pretty well, don't you?"

"Yeah, well, we were married for a short while, so to speak..."

"I see..."

For a moment they fell silent again before Hitchcock stood up, having made up her mind. "Tell you something, Justine." She said. "I'm gonna go and find Ben now and see for myself, what his reason is. Be sure if it isn't a real good reason, as to say as much as Ben's lying around somewhere dead, I'm gonna make sure that he comes down here!"

Justine nodded seriously. "Good." She turned to look at Lucas who was still swaying to the music and murmured. "Lucas needs his friend now..."


	10. Chapter 10

Some time later Hitchcock rounded the corner to the fitness room aboard the seaQuest, where she hoped to find Ben. Actually it would be extremely unusual for her ex-husband to be there – Ben was rarely seen anywhere near the 'torture chamber' as he called it. But Hitchcock had checked every other usual hangout place of his; from the Bridge to his quarters, the mess hall and the supply storage. Nothing. Until finally Lieutenant Shepherd told her that he believed he had seen Ben in the gym.

When the Lieutenant-Commander arrived at the door she could already hear someone training in there. Regular, fast thumps from someone beating the punching bag, accompanied by an exhausted panting. With a determined expression on her face Hitchcock stepped into the room. And really there was Ben, clad in a muscle shirt and shorts, beating the punching bag aggressively. He was beaded in sweat, his breath coming hard in short intervals. Ben hadn't noticed her presence yet, he kept on hitting his target in a fury, like he was trying to kill of an archenemy of his. The heavy sand bag was swinging back and forth under this attack, a big dent already forming on its most attacked side.

At the sight of Ben's obvious dark mood, Hitchcock decided to use an extra light tone for her approach. "You know, if you break this one, they're going to make you pay for it." She commented, gaining Ben's attention.

The man whirled around, surprised that he was not alone anymore. He was momentarily so distracted that he forgot about the punching bag, which came swinging back at him and crashed into his back. Ben stumbled forward in an attempt to keep his balance. And Hitchcock automatically reached out to steady him.

"Thanks." Ben mumbled, then he looked up at her. "What are you doing in here?" He asked.

"Well first of all this is a public place, you see, anybody who wants can come here." The Lieutenant-Commander stated, finally letting go of Ben's arm. She studied his features for a moment. His dark eyes were flashing and sweat was running down his forehead and temples, making his hair stick closely to his head. For a few seconds Hitchcock remembered a time when the two of them had been at the academy together; Ben had wanted to prove that he could outrun her the way down the courtyard, and they had ended up at a field ten miles away from the academy, both of them beaded in sweat and had agreed to call it a draw. That day he had looked exactly the same he looked now; except for his eyes – they had been softer back then... But Hitchcock pushed the memories away and continued. "But actually I came to talk to you."

"Why, what's going on, is something wrong?"

"That's what I'm asking you."

"Huh?" Ben didn't understand immediately.

"What's going on with you?"

Finally getting what his ex-wife was talking about, Ben blocked immediately. He didn't want to talk about this! "I really don't know what you mean." He lied.

"Oh, don't you lie to me, Ben." Hitchcock told him. "I mean what you're doing with Lucas; or rather what you're not doing with Lucas. You haven't visited him or talked to him ever since the meeting!"

"I simply haven't had the time so far." Ben declared. "When should I have gone to see Lucas? I did a double shift on the Bridge."

Hitchcock snorted. "Yeah, one you personally asked for – I asked Commander Ford. He said he thought that it was either judgment day and water's high or he was going nuts at last: You of all people asking for a double shift! An Ensign even claimed this to be the first sign of the coming Armageddon!"

"Cute. But believe me, I had my reasons." The Lieutenant said coldly.

"And those would be?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

Inwardly Ben groaned. Of all people it had to be his ex-wife who noticed his lack of visits to Lucas. The man simply knew that she would be pushing and digging and prying and what else until she had her answers. Katie could be so insistent and stubborn at times it drove Ben crazy – but then, this had been one of the reasons why he had loved and married her in the first place.

With a much softer voice Hitchcock continued. "Ben, you know you can trust me. Just tell me – why?"

Unable to stand the look in those piercing ice blue eyes Ben turned around, driving his hands through his hair again and again, his head bent down. "Because I just can't stand it..." He whispered finally.

"Can't stand what?"

"Don't you already know that?" Heavily he sat down on a working bench and buried his head in his hands, groaning. "I just can't stand the thought of Lucas being out there on his own – all alone, left to die. And I'm the one who sends him there! I could as well kill him with my own hands!"

"Do you really believe that?" Hitchcock inquired quietly.

"Of course I do. What else could possibly happen to him there?"

She choose rather not to answer that question and instead asked; "Then, why did you agree to let Lucas go?"

"Do you really have to ask that, Katie?" Ben asked, for once forgetting all about ranks and 'Lieutenant Hitchcock'; and looked up at her. "Because I'm his friend. And because he pleaded, no, he begged, for it. You weren't there, Katie; you didn't see him! But I did. And God knows, I don't think I'll ever be able to forget that sight. So how could I not let him go?" He asked desperately, burying his head again. "Because he is my friend..." He whispered in his hands, repeating himself again and again.

"Yes, Lucas is your friend... But then I don't understand why you aren't with him now." Hitchcock said.

Ben stood up and looked sadly at his ex-wife, all his misery written clearly on his face. "I can't go see him because of me. I hate myself for what I'm doing, so how could I look into his eyes. Won't he come to hate me, too, once he sees what a person I truly am?"

At this Hitchcock once again became aware that she was one of the few people Ben allowed to see this rather vulnerable part of him. For almost everybody else he was constantly playing the clown, the man without any common sense. But she knew that despite his seemingly carefree exterior, Ben did value such things as family and friends and really cared deeply about them and their opinion of him. And Lucas was one of those precious friends for him. No wonder he was afraid what Lucas would think of him, even though Hitchcock knew that there was no reason to be afraid. She grabbed Ben's shoulders firmly and gave him a little shake. "Ben, how on earth can you believe that for even one second? Lucas could never hate you – haven't you noticed that he righteously worships you? He looks up to you like to an older brother. And when you let him go now, just like that, without any real good bye, you'll regret it, Ben. You both will."

Ben looked at her, still doubtfully. "What am I gonna say to him?"

The Lieutenant smiled warmly at him. "I can't tell you that, Ben. But I'm sure you're going to find the right words."

"You really think so?" Ben asked, his face already lighting up visibly. At her nod he continued. "Then I'll go to him, right now." And he turned to the door and headed out.

"Good... Believe me, Ben, it'll all work out." Hitchcock said. When Ben had almost reached the door, already deep in thoughts, she raised her voice again. "Oh, and Ben? One good piece of advice before you go see the boy..."

"Yeah?" He turned around to face her again. "What is it?"

"Take a shower first. Your sweaty scent isn't that much of a perfume or room refresher..."

Ben gave a short, relieved laugh, his mood already bettering. "I promise, I will." He paused, looking at her. "And Katie, thank you. Thank you very much." With that he walked out swiftly.

"You're welcome, Ben." His ex-wife replied, knowing fully that he wasn't talking about the 'shower advice'.

When Ben Krieg reached the Moon Pool some time later, he found the area empty and deserted. The Lieutenant stopped dead in his tracks, surprised. He hadn't expected this – he had firmly counted on Lucas being with Darwin in the Moon Pool – where else would he go?

Then Ben noticed with a start that the outer doors of the pool were open. In a rush memories of the day that Lucas had fled from the seaQuest came flooding back to Ben's mind. Surely the boy wouldn't try that again – or would he? Even now that they had promised to bring him to his family?

Ben jumped when someone tapped on his shoulder; he hadn't heard anyone walking in on him – this seemed to happen to him rather frequently lately. He turned around so quickly that his face was but inches away from his intruder's, which caused Justine to jump back in surprise.

"Woah!" She exclaimed. "Easy there!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in." With his mind returning to the more urgent matter of Lucas' whereabouts, Ben grabbed the young woman's shoulders and gave her a light shake.

"Justine, quickly, tell me, do you know where Lucas is?"

Remembering whom she was talking to, and that she was very angry about that person, Justine's friendly manner changed completely in less than a second. With a step back she withdrew from Ben's grasp before she answered him. "Why would you, of all people, care?" She asked, her expression and voice growing cold.

Ben stared at her amazed. "What do you mean, me of all people? I'm Lucas' friend, of course I care!"

"Yeah, sure!" She commented dryly, obviously not believing Ben.

Of course Ben noticed this, and it slowly made him angry. Here he was, worried for his young friend, not knowing where he was, and had to deal with the attitude of a wannabe-grown-up who treated him like a total jerk! Like far too often, Ben's temper got the better of him, and he snapped at Justine. "Are you nuts? Believe it or not, I am Lucas' friend! And now tell me where he is!" He demanded, grabbing the young woman's wrist.

Justine slapped his hand away, by now equally as furious as Ben. Her green eyes were glowing in anger, and one could see that she really would have liked to hit the Lieutenant in front of her square across the face.  
"Who do you think you are?" She shouted furiously. "First you ignore Lucas, in a time that he would have needed a friend the most, and then you have the nerve to come here now, give me orders like one of those stupid all-military guys and then you even dare to say that you're Lucas' friend! If it were so, you would have come here a lot earlier!"

Ben had never believed that anyone could have an ice-glare and a lecture tone that rivaled his ex-wife's, but here he found himself facing the living counterevidence. And Justine wasn't finished with her speech yet, taking a breath she continued, her voice growing a little disappointed, though she hid behind a wall of insults.

"After what Lucas told me of you I never thought you were that low, you no-good, son-of-a..."

During Justine's heated speech Ben's temper slowly cooled down again. Justine had every right to be angry with him, and he knew it. She was right in what she was saying, and after all Ben had admitted as much only a short time ago to his ex-wife, who had used the same arguments – however, in a somewhat less heated way.

Ben raised his outstretched hands, palms turned outward, signaling that he yielded and that he wanted to say something.

Justine broke off in mid-insult, finally noticing Ben's altered expression. By now he looked really guilty and miserable. She hadn't thought that her words and her insults would have such a strong effect on him – she hadn't even gotten around yet to use the really bad insults... Expectantly she stemmed her hands on her hips and looked at the man in front of her.

Somewhat hesitantly Ben began, "I guess you have every right to say all this – and even more... Katie made me realize this only a short time ago. I assume it was you who sent her to chew me out?"

Justine nodded slightly. Against her will and better judgement, she found herself softening towards the Lieutenant and his look of complete misery.

Slowly Ben continued, "Look, I'm really sorry for what I did – or rather did not... Instead of being there for my best friend I choose to be selfish and pity myself for what I did to him, for sending him away. But now somebody made me realize my mistake and I'm here to see Lucas and apologize to him; can you understand that?"

Again Justine nodded. A warm smile was spreading across her face; obviously she had been wrong in her opinion about Ben. "Yeah, I understand that."

"Good." Relieved at seeing the young woman cool down, Ben ran a hand through his hair. "Now would you tell me where he is? Or," Ben felt fear gripping him again at the mere thought, "is he already gone?"

"Gone?" Justine frowned looking at him. "What do you mean with 'gone'?"

"Well, I mean it just like that: Is Lucas gone?" Gesturing to the open outdoors of the pool, Ben explained how he had come in and believed that Lucas had left the seaQuest again since the outdoor were standing open.

"Oh, that made you think Lucas was gone?" Justine laughed softly. "No the doors are open because someone let Darwin out to go feeding. Lucas is sleeping soundly in his quarters."

"Do know that for sure?" At Justine's convinced nod the Lieutenant let out a sigh of relief and sat down on the edge of the pool.

Justine laughed softly at how he looked like a heavy burden had been taken from him, then she grew solemn again. "Come on Ben, do you really think Lucas would be that stupid?" She asked him. "To leave now that we are taking him home?"

"No, actually not." Ben looked up at her. "To be honest I don't know what I was thinking. I swear, when I came in here and found the area empty and the doors open I truly believed that he was gone, and that I had missed my last chance..." His voice trailed off and he stood up.

As he walked past her Justine took hold of his arm. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go see Lucas."

"But I told he was fine. He's sleeping."

"Yeah, I know. But I guess I have to see him for myself to convince myself completely; you understand?" At Justine's hesitant nod he continued. "Look, I promise I won't disturb him and let him sleep. But I just have to see him."

With this he walked out of the room, leaving Justine alone by the Moon Pool. Smiling she watched his retreating back. 'It seems, I was indeed wrong about my opinion of him' she mused, forgetting completely that only a few minutes ago she had been very close to strangling this man.

A few minutes later Ben was standing in front of Lucas' quarters, unsure what to do. No sound was coming from the room and through the small window in the door Ben could only see shadows, the bluish illumination from the aqua tubes being the only source of light. Gathering his courage Ben opened the door as quietly as possible. He had dismissed the idea of knocking first because should Lucas indeed be asleep he didn't want to wake the boy. So he stepped in quietly and stopped at the entrance, leaving the door slightly ajar. The unmistakable scent and the warmth of a small, stuffed and inhabited room tickled in his nose. After his eyes had adjusted to the dimness, Ben looked around. He could make out the shadowy forms of various piles of clothes in differing states of use, magazines, books, and what else on the floor, the chairs and also on the tables and cupboards that were loaded with computers and technical equipment. The typical mess of a teenager's controlled chaos. Ben smiled to himself; at least in this way Lucas seemed to be unchanged; his room always looked like a rather big bomb had just dropped in there.

On the far side of the room, right under the passing aqua tubes, was Lucas' bunk. And from the dark human form on it, it was clear that it was being used. Slowly Ben stepped closer to it, careful not to step on one of the piles of clothes on the floor, which turned out to be quite a challenge. As he neared the bunk Ben could make out a handful of blonde hair, shining darkly in the aqua tubes soft light.

Yes, that was definitely Lucas sleeping there, curled up to ball under the blanket, his head resting on his arm, facing Ben. His breathing was coming regularly, he was sound asleep. Ben stood watching him for a minute, enjoying the calmness that the boy was radiating in sleep. Then he turned to leave again; his worries stilled. But when he was just about to go, he saw out of the corner of his eyes a glimpse of the light reflected in Lucas eye. This made Ben move back surprised to the boy and look more closely at him.

There was no doubt about: Lucas' left eye was open, looking in Ben's direction.

"Lucas? Are you awake?" Ben asked in a whisper. But Lucas didn't move the slightest, and his breathing was still perfectly regular – he was sound asleep. Yet his left eye was standing open and when Ben moved carefully he found that Lucas' pupil slowly followed his every move. It was an eerie sight and Ben shuddered.

"Lucas?" Ben's voice broke the complete silence in the room for a moment, then it turned silent again. Still no reaction from the teenager.

Suddenly Ben remembered something Lucas had told him once. They had been working by the Moon Pool – well, Lucas had been working on the vocoder with Darwin drifting half asleep in the pool while Ben had been sitting idly next to the boy, playing around with some loose wires. Somehow they had ended up talking about dolphins and Lucas had explained Ben how dolphins were sleeping: Since their breathing wasn't a reflex, like it was the case with humans, dolphins had to breathe consciously, they slept with one eye and one ear open, Lucas had told him. Thus they were always resting only one half of the brain, while the other half of the brain took care of surfacing and breathing in regular intervals. By this they were also watching out for dangers, never letting down their defenses completely. Ben, being in an arguing and interested mood at that day, had asked whether dolphins would sleep with both eyes closed if they could be absolutely sure that there was no danger. Lucas in his best lecture mode, had said that the question made no sense at all, since there was still the problem of breathing for the dolphins; but after Ben had argued further and further – mostly to annoy his young friend – the boy had given in, primarily in an attempt to silence Ben: Yes, if there wasn't the matter of breathing, and they knew that they were completely safe, dolphins would probably rest with both eyes closed.

Thinking about that discussion, Ben watched Lucas sleeping with 'one eye and one ear open'. He remembered now almost every detail of their conversation. He had said then that it must be impossible to really rest with one eye opened. Lucas had argued that you'd get used to pretty much everything, and he'd even suggested that Ben should try someday to sleep like that. Of course Ben had dismissed it like any other stupid joke then. But thinking of it again, seeing it in the new light of the events of the last month, there was the high chance that Lucas had actually meant it.

Ben shook his head. He had never completely understood the boy – never found it necessary to; in his opinion everybody was entitled to have few secrets. But now, in the last weeks, Lucas had become even more of a mystery to him. Ben just didn't know which of the things he knew about the teenager was true and which had only been a show to deceive them all. All the things that Lucas had told Ben about himself (and it hadn't been much to begin with) – nothing but lies? And their friendship? This special bond they had seemed to share, this kind of trust among them? Had that also been just show or was that true? He simply couldn't tell...

Sighing slightly Ben turned to leave. Lucas would never have to know that he had been here. Yet when he stepped towards the door Ben thought he heard the slightest whisper, barely more than a breath.

"No..."

The Lieutenant whirled around.

"Lucas?" The boy was still lying completely immobile on his bed, breathing regularly, with one eye fixed on Ben. He hesitated, unsure what to do. Could it be that he had imagined it? But then Ben saw Lucas' lips move slightly.

"Stay..." The boy murmured ever so softly; Ben couldn't tell if it was consciously or not since Lucas didn't move otherwise.

Coming to a decision, Ben shoved the clothes from the nearest chair on the floor and sat down next to Lucas' bed. Looking at the boy's face again, the Lieutenant found him staring back at him with his one open eye. For a long time they were just looking at one another. Then Ben hesitantly stretched out his arm and took Lucas' hand that was resting next to his face. In a slow response Lucas softly curled his fingers around Ben's. Then he blinked several times with his open eye. Eventually his eyelid began to drop, and he fell asleep completely, snuggling deeper into the covers. The bluish light from the aqua tubes illuminated his relaxed face, highlighting his features here, shadowing them there. Ben just watched his friend sleep. He looked so peaceful in his slumber, completely at ease.

Lucas' amused voice came back to Ben's mind, sounding with a hint of yielding. 'Yes, Ben... If there wasn't the matter of breathing, I guess that dolphins would sleep 'normally' with both eyes closed when they knew that there was absolutely no danger and they are completely safe. Are you content now?'

Ben smiled down at his sleeping friend – sleeping with both eyes closed.  
*Yes, Lucas, I am content now!* He thought.

Meanwhile Captain Bridger was standing in the hydro garden, bent over a box with young seedlings. Drops of sweat were forming on the Captain's forehead, as a result from the unusual warmth in the room. That and the high atmospheric humidity gave the plants in the room the perfect conditions for growing, but it also helped to create the special atmosphere of the room that Bridger valued so much. Usually it helped him relax and get his mind off his problems for a while.

Here in the hydro garden it was just him and the plants – and the heat. Bridger wiped the new pearls of sweat away from his forehead with the back of his hand. He was grateful for the short breeze of fresh air that swayed into the room when the door opened, then closed again when somebody stepped in. The Captain didn't bother to turn around to see who was there. If it was someone from the science research team who came in here to get one of the plants for an experiment, he or she would know not to disturb the Captain; and if it was not – well then he would know it soon enough.

And sure enough, after a short moment someone stepped beside him, looking at small plants he was cutting to size. Without turning his head Bridger saw, out of the corner of his eyes, a bunch of reddish-brown hair and smiled to himself. Dr Westphalen; he should have know it. Keeping silent he waited for her to start a conversation; she wouldn't have come in here without a purpose. He didn't have to wait for too long.

"Thought I'd find you in here..." She told him, her soft British accent tickling in his ears.

"Hmmm..." Bridger mumbled. "Yeah, I couldn't sleep and since even Chief Crocker told me that he didn't want to see me anywhere near the Bridge for the next few hours, I figured I might as well do something useful..." He explained finally.

"So you came here?"

"Hmmm... It seemed to be the best choice, and furthermore I guess I needed some time alone."

"Oh, shall I leave again?" Dr Westphalen asked politely, not wanting to unnerve Bridger.

"No, it's alright." He said. At her doubtful look he added, "Please stay, Kristin. I... I enjoy your company."

The doctor smiled softly, then she took up one of the small pruning shears and joined the Captain in his task. For some minutes they just worked side by side in a comfortable silence.

Eventually Dr Westphalen spoke up in a soft voice. "We'll be there soon, won't we?" She asked. She didn't have to elaborate on where 'there' was. It was clear that every conversation would sooner or later lead to the one subject. Lucas.

A strange strangled sound came from the depth of Bridger throat before he answered. "Yeah, just a couple more hours before..." He broke off, turning aside so that Dr Westphalen wouldn't see the tortured expression on his face.

"How do you plan on finding Lucas' pod? I mean there are surely several different dolphin pods in the area..." The doctor questioned further, trying to get Bridger to really talk.

He answered her question promptly, however, he still refused to look at her. "Pretty much similar to how we found Darwin's pod. We have a tape of our last encounter with Lucas' pod." Bridger paused; the expression 'Lucas' pod' still stroke him as odd, almost impossible. Furthermore the uninvited image of Lucas diving with a bunch of dolphins came to his mind, a scene that had been displaying itself before his inner eyes for days now. Forcing his voice to sound more calm and detached than he actually felt, Bridger continued. "We'll compare the visual of their sonar sounds with those of the dolphin pods we encounter in the area. We still have the program that Lucas wrote for it, so it shouldn't be too difficult."

Dr Westphalen nodded, remembering the time when they had searched for Darwin's family. It had obviously pained Lucas to lose his best friend aboard the seaQuest, but he had nonetheless helped them the best he could. When asked about his feelings then, he had shrugged it all off, or simply ignored them and changed the topic. However, the night after Darwin had returned to his pod, Dr Westphalen had found him alone in the dark by the now empty Moon Pool, crying his eyes out. After he had realized that she was there, the teenager had made her promise that she would never tell anybody about it. The doctor had tried to comfort him by telling him that Darwin was happy were he was now and that it was the best for him. Lucas had answered that he fully agreed with her about that, but it still hurt. Then he had said that even though he knew that it was selfish that he wished Darwin could have stayed or, if that wasn't possible, that he, Lucas, could have gone with him. It was only now that it occurred to Dr Westphalen that perhaps already at that time Lucas had secretly wished to return to his dolphin family. Now she began to wonder for how long the boy had actually felt that way.

Equally lost in his thoughts Bridger repeated, "Just a couple more hours... And then..." He broke off and then suddenly whirled around to face her. "Oh, Kristin!" He exclaimed. "I don't think I can pull through with it! I know I promised to but I can't! What am I to do?"

The doctor gulped hard; it was a rare sight to see Captain Bridger lose control over his feeling like that. "Honestly, I don't know what you should do, Nathan." She answered him weakly. She paused, composing herself, then continued. "I know that Justine would be shocked to hear this, maybe she would even hate me for it, but I too wish we could prevent all this. I too wish that we could make Lucas stay with us, could find a way to make things return to normal again. But we can't." She looked directly into Bridger's eyes. "It's too late now, Nathan, too late to stop what we begun. All we can do is let it run its course and deal with the outcome."

Captain Bridger looked at her wordlessly for a very long moment, and Dr Westphalen thought her heart would break at the sight of this man in front of her; the look of complete desperation on his face. For a brief second she believed that Bridger would contradict her, that he would actually make Lucas stay in order to try and find another solution.

But then Bridger nodded and turned away. "You're right..." He sighed. "Of course you are right, and I know it as well as you do. It's too late now – has been too late for a longer time than we might imagine... But that doesn't make it easier for me. That doesn't stop it from hurting..." With that Bridger quietly left the Hydro Garden.

And it was then, at the sight of his retreating back, with his shoulders slumped down, that Dr Westphalen came to realize that this might ultimately break the old man. A single person can stand only so many losses before they would destroy him completely. And they were standing the high chance that Captain Bridger was just reaching that point.


	11. Chapter 11

"All we can do, is let it run its course and deal with the outcome." That had been Dr Westphalen's words, when Bridger had asked her what to do with Lucas. The captain knew that he didn't want to lose the boy; what he didn't know, however, was how he could possibly forbid him to leave the seaQuest… This would be one of the hardest thing ever for Bridger, probably even harder than having his son Robert declared 'Missing in field', and burying his wife Carol, because those had been things that he couldn't change, and he had gradually come to accept it. But now with Lucas? It was his decision to let the boy go back to the dolphins. True, Lucas had asked for it, but still Bridger felt like a traitor or worse. How was he supposed to ever deal with this? ... deal with the outcome. Bridger didn't think he would ever be able to do that.

...let it run its course... Well at least that part of Dr Westphalen's advice was easier to follow, and so it was exactly what Bridger did. He let the things run their course, retreating to the most detached manner he could summon until he felt more like a watcher than as a participant.

With this new distance, he kept playing the role of the perfect Captain: He gave the orders that were necessary, answered in a proper way when someone would ask what to do, and inspired the crew with his seemingly calm and unimpressed exterior. All the while he refused to let himself think about what he was going to do later, his attention firmly focused on the here and now only.

This was the only way to handle a serious crisis, that's what they'd been taught back at the academy: Never let anything personal or your emotional problems influence the necessary flow of your work. If possible avoid all and any personal interference with what you do. And if that isn't possible, distance yourself from them as far as you can, and do nothing but what your supposed to do.

Well, it was way to late now to avoid any personal interference, as his instructor had formulated it. With Lucas things had been personal from the very beginning, and Bridger had never been able to feel anything but responsible for the boy; almost like a substitute parent.

So, since the option of avoidance wasn't given, Bridger had chosen the other one instead: Creating distance. He retreated to a set of rules and regulations, until nothing could reach him anymore.

From this distance, he witnessed how the men and women of his crew flung themselves into their tasks, most of them in the attempt to follow the path that Bridger had chosen for himself. Detached, he watched how Dr Westphalen gave Lucas a last physical, and how she was pleased with the outcome of them, and their proof of Lucas' improving health. And untouched he sat his Captain's chair when the seaQuest finally reached the area where Lucas had grown up, and where they had had their first encounter with his dolphin pod. Seemingly calm, Bridger supervised how the Bridge crew used the same Sonic Signal Matching program they had used to find Darwin's pod. With the tapes they had from Lucas' pod, it wasn't too hard, only a matter of time before they would find the right pod. And truly, the third pod they checked showed to be the one they had been searching for: Sonic Signal Matching 100%. There was no doubt left possible.

It was only when Lieutenant Hitchcock announced the result that Captain Bridger allowed himself a deep sigh, the biggest sign of emotion he had shown openly during the last hours.

There had been only one moment in this time that Bridger's emotionless, stoical calmness had been disturbed and he had almost cracked: Sure enough, it had been when he was with Lucas. Bridger had visited the boy who had been playing with Ben Krieg and Darwin by the Moon Pool. Krieg was now again spending his entire free time with the teenager, and had even asked Commander Ford to free him from his shift on the Bridge for the time Lucas was still aboard – a wish that the Commander had granted the Lieutenant in an unexpected gesture of understanding. Bridger refused to let himself think about why Krieg had stayed away from Lucas for so long, and what had finally changed his opinion about it – the Lieutenant's reasons seemed to be too close to Bridger's own for the Captain's hard maintained peace of mind. So Bridger had simply watched the threesome play for a while, with the most different emotions running wild inside him at the sight of them, until Lucas had noticed his presence and had walked over to him, stopping directly in front of the Captain. For a long time the boy had simply looked into his eyes, waiting for some kind of reaction, or to be addressed – but nothing came. At the sight of Lucas' grey eyes and the glistening of anticipation in them, Bridger almost cracked. How was he supposed to send this boy, who had almost unnoticed managed to sneak his way into the Captain's heart that had been empty and alone for years, away for good? How was he supposed to live with this unbelievable pain inside him that surfaced as soon as Bridger only did as much as to think about what he was going to do? Just how? For a seemingly eternally long moment, he close to taking the boy in his arms, tell him everything he felt and to hell with his promise to let him go! Almost. But Bridger fought down his emotions, again, and remained still, unmoving, his fists clenched at his sides in the effort of controlling himself. When Lucas finally came to realize that Bridger wouldn't say or do something, a slight look of disappointment crossed his face, and before the Captain could change his opinion and say something, the teenager turned away and walked back to his friend and their game which he joined with a lot less enthusiasm.

All this rushed through the Captain's mind, the moment it became clear that they had found the dolphin pod in question. It would all end soon now. Bridger didn't know what he would do when this was over, but he knew that things would change completely for good, and nobody could do anything about it anymore.

Mechanically Bridger let the Captain mode take over for him, giving the necessary orders, before he stood up and announced that he would go and inform Dr Westphalen, Justine and most important of all Lucas. Feeling terribly numb, he walked down the corridors, automatically greeting the crew members he met on the way.

Without knowing how he had gotten there, Bridger found himself standing in his quarters, in front of the device that hosted the hologram of the Professor. What was he doing here? He had intended to go to the Moon Pool where Lucas and the others would be, so it was completely beyond him why had his feet carried him here. His mind had been so far away, had someone asked him now, he would be unable to tell which turns he had taken on his way, or whom he had met.

But then if he was honest with himself, this was exactly where he needed to be now. He wasn't fully ready, yet, to take the final step and tell Lucas that they were where he had wanted to go so desperately. Bridger longed with an incredible force to talk to the Professor once again, to let the hologram tell him that what he was doing was the right thing, the right decision. But just when he was about to press the start button of the hologram, the Captain froze in his movements. Lucas had invented this. He had built this automatically advisor. For the boy it had barely been more than a game to create it while he, Captain Nathan Hale Bridger, was depending on this machine to help him in the most difficult decisions – just like now. But was that really always the right thing? Was he really supposed to search for support and comfort in a machine? To make his decisions in a case like this, dependent of a bunch of wires and metal plates that had access to various sources of information?

Abruptly Bridger turned away. No. Nothing that the Professor would say could change what was going to happen. And nothing that he would say could make things easier for Bridger. With new determination, the Captain turned his steps towards the Moon Pool - he should have gone there in the first place!

Sure enough, he found them assembled there. Lucas and Justine were sitting on a staircase, facing each other and played a simple finger exercise while Dr Westphalen was sitting on one of the high stools at a table, writing something, most likely a medical report. Bridger waved a short greeting to Lucas and Justine. The young woman acknowledged his presence with a nod and a smile, but Lucas only sent him a short look before he returned his attention to their game.

The Captain headed over to where Dr Westphalen was seated. She looked up from her work at him, and greeted him smiling.

"Hi, how are you?"

"Fine." Bridger mumbled shortly, then he bent slightly down so that his mouth was closer to the doctor's ear. "We found them." He whispered.

"What!? Already!?" Dr Westphalen exclaimed before she could stop herself. Guiltily she looked over to where the two adolescents were seated. Justine's head had snapped up at her words, and she looked sharply in their direction for a moment before turning back to Lucas. The boy, however, had either not noticed it, or he had rather chosen to ignore it.

In a much lower voice Dr Westphalen continued. "And you are completely sure, Nathan?"

Bridger nodded. "Yes, absolutely."

"So the time has finally come..." The doctor mumbled. After a short pause she asked, "Do you want to tell him now?"

"I guess so. But first I wanted to hear your opinion as his doctor about it. Is he up to it?"

"Most likely. Even though I would indeed like to give him another week for recovery, I don't believe that we'd be able to keep him still for much longer..." She said.

"What do you mean?"

"He's getting restless. He's constantly asking us when he can go back to his family now."

"So he's still determined to go..." Bridger stated, looking over at the teenager. Sighing, the Captain ran his finger through his hair before he took a deep breath. "I'll go and tell him." He said determined and started walking over to the two players with Dr Westphalen in close pursuit.

"Hey, kiddo!" Bridger greeted the boy, sitting down on the stairs next to him and gave him a smile.

Lucas looked at him intently before he replied in a quiet, almost hesitant voice. "Hi."

"Listen, Lucas, I've got great news!" He told him, exchanging a short glance with Justine. "Well... great for you anyway... We found your pod, it's just outside the seaQuest."

The boy jumped up, his eyes growing wide. "Really?" He asked unbelieving.

"Yeah, I can show you if you want me to." Bridger said, an idea plopping into his mind. Lucas simply nodded eagerly. So Bridger reached for his PAL and called to the Bridge. "Mr. Ortiz, can you put a W.S.K.R transmission of the dolphin pod down here to the Moon Pool?" He requested.

"Of course, one moment please, Sir." Came Lieutenant Ortiz's immediate reply.

A few seconds later the vid screen flashed and started showing pictures of dolphins that were diving through the clear blue seawater. Lucas breathed in sharply and put a hand over his mouth. Quickly he stepped closer to the vid screen, his body shaking with excitement. Then he noticed one particular dolphin.

"Mother!" He whispered hoarsely, his voice refusing to produce any louder sound. Lucas put a hand on the screen, tracing the outline of the dolphin longingly like caressing it. Bridger could only watch the scene before him. It held an undeniable beauty: Those wonderful grey and blue animals out there; their sleek forms gliding through the water as though they were part of it, as though nothing in the world could ever harm them. And in front of the screen, the slender blonde boy, with his pale skin and grey eyes who longed for nothing more, but to be part of that harmony out there again. In this scene, time and space lost all their meaning, and the moment seemed to last forever.

After an eternity, Lucas turned around again and faced the three people standing behind him. His look scanned over Dr Westphalen and Justine before it came to rest on Bridger. Grey eyes met dark ones. Lucas was breathing heavily, obviously fighting hard to keep his self control at least partly.

"Can... can I go to them?" He asked, pleading Bridger with his eyes. The Captain was amazed by the intense burning in those clear eyes. Nobody who saw the skinny, pale boy would have guessed that he was able to hold such a passion, such an intensity!

Bridger found himself unable to turn his gaze away from those eyes, the burning in them.. Lucas was holding his breath, as were Justine and Dr Westphalen next to him, waiting for the Captain's reply. It was all in his hands now – and he knew that he wouldn't be able to turn down any request the boy might have voiced now. Taking a deep breath, the old man closed his eyes briefly before he answered Lucas.

"Yes, kiddo, you can... I'll take you there." He said.

Lucas let out his breath. A single tear rolled down his left cheek, but he was smiling as he turned back to the screen. "Hold on, wait for me; I'm coming!" He whispered to the dolphins on it.

Justine beamed, while Dr Westphalen turned away to wipe the tears away from her eyes surreptitiously. Bridger called to the Bridge once more.

"Commander Ford, have a launch prepared to go up to the surface and then have the Senior Staff assemble in Launch Bay." He ordered.

"Aye, Sir."

Bridger shut off the PAL and looked at Lucas who was staring at the dolphin's again. This was it.

'Let it run its course...'

A short while later, the entire Senior Staff was waiting in Launch Bay, ready to say their goodbyes to Lucas. Even though they wouldn't admit it, all of them had by now abandoned the illusion that the teenager might only want to visit the dolphins for a few minutes and then come back to seaQuest.

Few words were spoken while the six people were waiting. Hitchcock busied herself with preparing the launch for its start, and then checking and rechecking everything twice. Commander Ford stood perfectly straight, radiating military correctness, while Chief Crocker and O'Neil were pacing up and down the short hallway, bumping into each other every now and then, only to apologize briefly and to resume their pacing, and Ortiz was muttering to himself in Spanish. All the while Ben was sitting next to the control panels leaned against the wall staring straight ahead; of all people in Launch Bay he appeared to be the calmest, and from time to time a small smile would cross his face.

The assemble militaries stood attention when Captain Bridger came walking down the hallway, followed closely by Dr Westphalen, Justine and Lucas.

Bridger let his eyes wander over his well trained crew before he said: "At ease."

The eyes of the people of the Senior Staff were immediately drawn to Lucas. He looked unmistakably excited, and quite healthy. There was new color to his cheeks, and the boy couldn't stay still for a second. He was stepping from one foot onto the other impatiently, his hands kept playing with the ends of this clothing, and his eyes would dart around, taking in everything and everyone in Launch Bay, yet never resting anywhere for long.

"Captain, the launch is ready for departure." Hitchcock informed Bridger.

He nodded. "Thank you, Lieutenant-Commander. I want you and Lieutenant Krieg steering; you'll bring us to the surface."

"Aye, Sir."

Bridger looked around and into the faces of the Senior Staff. "You are all well aware why we are here today." He addressed them. "And I know that all of you would like to come with us", he gestured to the small group that was standing behind him, "on this trip. Sad to say that it isn't possible for me to grant you this; there wouldn't be enough room for all of us and furthermore I can't leave the seaQuest completely without a Commanding Officer. That's why I must ask you to say your goodbyes to Lucas here and now." The Captain stepped aside to give them room for their farewell.

For a moment there was an awkward silence, in which nobody knew what to say but then O'Neil took heart and walked over to Lucas, taking him by the hands.

"Goodbye, Lucas. Whatever it is that you are searching for out there, I hope and I'll pray for you that you find it! I'm glad that you were my friend." he said warm-hearted, pressing the boys hands gently. Lucas didn't reply, however, he fixed his eyes on O'Neil and smiled gratefully. Next Ortiz took his turn and stepped forward. He held his hands up in front of him, clearly unsure what to do and how to handle this, and was searching for the right words. Finally he gripped the boy's shoulders and gave him a friendly shake.

"You watch out for yourself out there, will ya, buddy? Don't get yourself in any trouble – if that's possible for you at all... Good luck!" Ortiz said in a rush then gave the teenager a quick, unsure hug. Again Lucas merely smiled at him, but it was enough for the Lieutenant to know that he had done well enough, so he smiled back gratefully as he stepped back again.

Farewells like this were hard for Chief Crocker; he simply wasn't used to big shows of emotions like this, maybe it was because he had been in the military for too long to know anything else. So he just clasped Lucas round the shoulders while he told him: "I can really say that I am proud to have served with you, son, you are a great person. This boat will miss you greatly, and I dare say that things will never be the same without you." Then he let go of the teenager again, taking out a big red handkerchief and blowing into it noisily.

Bridger could see that Lucas was getting restless again. His eyes were darting around the room again, and he was unable to keep his hands still; he was simply anxious to get out to his family. Yet, there was still Ford to say goodbye.

The tall, dark-skinned man was standing in front of Lucas in all his height and glory. For a long moment he simply watched the boy, taking in his features fully a last time. Lucas simply looked back at him, by now positively curious what the Commander was going to do (as was the rest of the assembled crew). Eventually Ford let out his breath.

"What am I to say now?" He asked. "Everything is already said. The entire boat will miss you dearly, and I hope that you're gonna watch out for yourself and find what you are looking for." So far so good, but what the Commander did next surprised everybody who was present – from the look on his face Lucas as much as any other – for Ford bent forward and pulled the boy in a warm hug. Silently so that only Lucas could hear it, Ford whispered in his ear. "You know that I will miss you a lot; the friend in you just as much as the annoying brat you can be!" The teenager nodded and Ford stepped backwards. With his usual grim expression he looked around as if daring anyone to make side remark about his behavior. But nobody would have done so anyway, they were deeply impressed and surprised by the Commander's display of emotions.

For a minute or two there was silence. Then Captain Bridger cleared his voice.

"Thank you all. I think it's time that we... catch our shuttle. Lieutenant." He gestured towards the hatch doors, and Ben nodded. Pressing a button he opened the hatch doors and climbed down into the shuttle, followed by Dr Westphalen and Justine. Just when Lucas was about to climb down the ladder a call stopped him.

"Lucas!" He turned around to find his friends from the Senior Staff lined up by rank, saluting to him – the absolute gesture of honor and respect in the military.

Lucas looked at them for a moment, then he smiled and whispered "Thank you; thank you all, for everything..." With this he turned round again and climbed down the ladder, disappearing from the Senior Staff's sight. After Captain Bridger and Hitchcock had followed him the hatch closed, and a moment later the officer responsible for the mini-subs announced that the shuttle had departed.

This left the four remaining people from the Senior Staff with nothing else to do but to get back to their ordinary work. But already it felt for them like an important part was missing. A part that was unlikely to ever return to them. In silence they left the Launch Bay, everyone deep in his own thoughts and unwilling to talk right now.

The atmosphere was tense in the mini-sub on the way up to the surface. Few words were spoken; nobody was in the mood for conversation now. Hitchcock was steering, assisted by Ben, and focused her attention on her momentary task only. Captain Bridger and Dr Westphalen were sitting next to each other on the bench at the side of the shuttle. Opposite of them Justine and Lucas were seated. Justine had put her arm round the boy's shoulder, and he was leaning on her comfortably, enjoying her nearness.

Of all people in the sub, Justine appeared to be the calmest. A small smile was playing upon her lips. Bridger guessed it was because she had been prepared for a situation like this from the very beginning when she met Lucas. For her, Lucas going back into the ocean had been foreseeable, and she had accepted and welcomed the thought. Bridger wondered briefly what it was that made the idea of a fifteen year old living in the ocean with a dolphin pod so much less inconceivable for the young woman. Was it simply because she was part of a different generation than he was; a generation that simply accepted supernatural things as given and precious? After all, Lucas hadn't had the slightest problem with having a bunch of aliens aboard the seaQuest, and had even tried to make friends with them.

Whatever it was, the Captain envied Justine for it now; envied her for the natural and warm way she was able to treat Lucas at this moment. For he himself was still fighting as to how he was to handle the boy now. On the one hand he wanted to take Lucas in his arms, and on the other hand he felt that there was something between them that he couldn't overcome. Bridger was so lost in his own thoughts that he never noticed how time passed.

And before he knew it, Lieutenant Hitchcock announced that they had reached the surface, and they climbed into a speedboat that was attached to the shuttle. The speedboat would take them the last few yards towards the dolphin pod.

The boat was almost too small to contain six people, but they had decided that it would be the easiest solution for Lucas to get into the ocean and for them all to say goodbye to him. It wasn't exactly comfortable and easy to climb out of a shuttle, when there was no port to dock at and it was certainly not designed for farewells. So they all squeezed themselves into the speedboat. It was a pleasant day, the sun was shining down brightly with not a single cloud in sight. Above their heads the seagulls were screaming, and a clear breeze, with the strong scent of the seawater was blowing about their heads from the fast movement of the boat. Next to their boat, Darwin was swimming at highspeed, every now and then jumping out of the water. It hadn't been necessary to explain him where they were taking Lucas and why; the animal understood instinctively. Maybe he understood better than anyone else aboard the seaQuest.

Suddenly they spotted a movement in a distance, and soon they discover that it was the dolphin pod. And it came swimming directly towards them. Dolphins jumped out of the water, doing almost acrobatic flips and turns, and whistled a joyous greeting. Lucas grew very excited as soon as he saw and heard them. He stood up to have a better view, even though Dr Westphalen tried to hold him down in fear that he might fall out of the boat.

This was his family, he recognized them!

When they weren't very far away from the pod, Hitchcock stopped the engines of the speedboat and let it drift a few more feet. Soon the dolphins had reached them and surrounded the boat. Their whistles and clicks filled the air, and the younger animals did some more spectacular stunts and jumps to get their visitors' attention.

Darwin was also greeted friendly by the pod. It was a normal thing for them that every now and then a new dolphin would come to the pod, if it was only to play for a while or to stay and swim with them for a longer time. But the animals sensed that this one would only stay for a very short time – he already had a pod that he belonged to. But there was another being with a dolphin mind in that boat with humans, and he was here to stay.

Lucas wasn't simply smiling, he was beaming, with his smile spreading from one ear to the other. His eyes were sparkling, and he had tears of joy in them. The boy bent over the edge of the boat, putting his hands into the water. Gently he stroked the dolphins that brushed past his hands.

His mother, his aunt, his sister which he had so far only met one time – when he was last 'visiting' his dolphin family. Lucas felt an incredible sense of warmth and happiness wash over him; they all recognized him and welcomed him back in the family. The teenager produced a tone in the upper part of his chest; a tune that became a picture for his mother, showing her all the love and happiness he felt. And his mother answered him the same way; sending him her feelings as well.

The five adults in the speedboat were completely unaware of how much was exchanged between Lucas and the dolphins in this short time. They just stood and watched their young friend in silence. They were once more fascinated by the sounds, the whistles and clicks, that Lucas produced from his nose and the back of his throat which the boy's friends couldn't even try to imitate. Yet it was obvious that the dolphins understood them, and that Lucas understood the animals. But even without any knowledge of 'Dolphinese', as some people would call it, it was clear to the five that what they were witnessing was a scene of reunion. All of them were finding a huge smile creeping to their faces at the sight of Lucas. It would have been impossible not to smile at a scene like this: A happy family reunion with an overjoyed teenager and dozens of high spirited dolphins.

Lucas' mother whistled her song; the tunes that were unique for each single dolphin. Her song spoke of the life in the ocean, of the night when Lucas came into the ocean and became part of them, of the day he was taken away and of the time after it, without him. Lucas answered her with his own song, a song that had once been the same as hers. But Lucas had changed, and so had his song. It told about the boy's time with the dolphins and his life in the ocean like it did before, but now it also contained the time when the humans took him away. The song spoke of Lucas' time with the humans, of the people he had met, of all the places he had been to, of the things he had seen and learned, and of the feelings he had. His friends and what they showed him, their love for him, but also the loneliness he felt inside, and his longing for the ocean; all this was part of Lucas' song now.

For a long time the teenager was completely occupied by his mother, forgetting completely about his friends that were still in the boat with him. The five stood in silence, just watching Lucas and the dolphins. Some of the younger animals had lost their wavering interest in the boat already, and were playing with each other again in a short distance from the boat. Others were drifting idly in the water, letting the movement of the sea carry them where it would. Darwin, however, always stayed close to the boat, watching his friend Lucas. It was getting warmer and warmer, with the sun shining down brightly on the strange assembling of people and animals.

Captain Bridger didn't know how much time had passed; he hadn't brought a watch and there didn't seem to be the need to keep track of time. After what seemed to be an eternity or only a few moments, Lucas turned to him again. In his story he had just reached the part where his friends of the seaQuest – Commander Ford, Lieutenant O'Neil, Lieutenant Ortiz and Chief Crocker – had said their farewells to him and he had come here. It was time to see how the story was to continue; it was time to go home...

Lucas looked at the Captain intently, searching his eyes.

"Let me go into the water." He simply said in a soft, yet raw voice – like his vocal chords already weren't used to this kind of sound anymore. Bridger just stared back at him. "Let me go." Lucas said again.

It was Dr Westphalen who replied. "No, I can't do it." She said.

Lucas turned to her. "Please, Dr Westphalen. Let me go into the ocean."

"No, Lucas! The dolphins can swim away and let you drown; they can turn away."

"They won't leave me, they won't turn away", the boy replied seriously. "I know them, they are my family."

The doctor said "I'm afraid! What if you die in the water, Lucas?"

"I'm not going to die! Dr Westphalen, please let me go into the water." The teenager pleaded her with his eyes, but Dr Westphalen looked aside, avoiding his gaze.

Lucas looked around, looking at the people in the boat; his friends. Katie looked aside as well, feeling that she didn't have the right to interfere with this – she was not quite as close to Lucas as the others were. Captain Bridger, Justine and Ben were looking back at Lucas, but none of them said something. Nobody had quite the guts to do so.

The boy's hands started trembling and tears welled up in his eyes, but he held them back. Behind him, he felt the presence of his mother, giving him strength, a kind of strength he had missed for months, even though he didn't know when exactly his own had left him. Lucas heard the sound of the sea, slapping against the side of boat, the cries of the seagulls above his head. He felt the sun on his skin, its warm touch that was never tangible, yet always there. He just stood there and looked at his friends, the best friends he ever had apart from his dolphin family.

It was Ben who spoke up after an eternity like that. He stepped forward, and took Lucas' hands in his. Taking a deep breath, he looked into the boy's eyes and said:

"I'll let you go."

Lucas felt incredible relief wash over him. He closed his eyes and bent down his head; a single tear was sliding down his cheek. Ben folded him in his arms and just held him for a moment, closing his eyes as well. There was no need for any more words between the two of them. They just stood there, Lucas' head against Ben's chest, knowing that they shared something that went beyond ordinary friendship.

When the Lieutenant let go of Lucas, Katie was the next to say her goodbye to him. She hugged him, then held him at arm length by his shoulders.

"I'll miss you." She said simply, her ice blue eyes burning into his. Lucas merely nodded. There had been a time when he desired this woman, and would have done anything to make her hold him like she just did – but at some point in the last months, fierce emotions had lost all meaning to him, and so the teenager was able to receive this gesture as a simple sign of friendship.

Then there was an awkward moment when Dr Westphalen stepped over to Lucas. She didn't know what to say to him – after all, she was the one who would have refused to let the boy go. If she was honest to herself, she still wanted to do it, even though she had been the one to tell Captain Bridger to let things run their course. Now that she was directly confronted with it, it simply stroke her as impossible to let a fifteen year old life in the ocean with a pod of dolphins. For a moment, it seemed as though she was going to contradict Ben's promise, as though she would try to make Lucas stay. But then she gulped hard and shook her head to clear it of those thoughts. And as she embraced him fiercely, the boy just hugged her back, showing her that he didn't reproach her earlier behavior.

"I just hope you know what you are doing, Lucas!" The doctor whispered in his ear. She had long since abandoned any attempts to keep her tears from flowing, and sobbed only more when she felt Lucas nod, and then free himself carefully from her grasp.

With Justine saying her farewell, it was completely different. She staggered over to the teenager, clearly not used to the swaying movement of the boat, and stopped in front of him, smiling. The two looked into each other's eyes for a moment, and then Lucas literally jumped into Justine's arms. For a long time they just held each other, burying their faces in the hair of the other one. From his angle, Ben could see that Justine's lips were moving but he couldn't make out the words. But the way Lucas seemed to relax in the young woman's arms, told the man enough about how close the two of them were. What awed him the most, was how Justine managed to smile like she did: True, lips were shaking with emotions, but her smile was a wide, honest one, that showed that was really happy for the boy.

After several minutes, they finally let go of each other, with Justine whispering a last thing to Lucas. She caressed his face and he closed his eyes, savoring the feeling, and nodded.

Then Lucas turned to the last one remaining in the boat. Captain Bridger. The Captain had been standing in the back of the boat, watching the scenes unfolding in front of him. When the teenager turned towards him at last, he didn't move; he wanted to, but his body didn't seem to obey his will. He just stood there and stared at the boy who was simply looking back at him. Dark eyes gazed into grey ones. And in Lucas' eyes, the Captain could see so many emotions displayed, could see how much the boy wanted him to reach out for him.

At this, something inside Bridger cracked, and he felt the shell in which he had imprisoned his feelings break; it was like a spell had been lifted from the Captain. He rushed forward to embrace the boy, and Lucas welcomed and returned the hug warmly. Bridger was breathing heavily as he drove his hands through the teenager's hair and stroked his back.

"Oh, kiddo..." he groaned but said nothing apart from that. This just wasn't the time for big words.

Lucas leaned his head against the Captain's shoulder and closed his eyes, simply feeling the elder man's nearness and the warmth emanating from him – both physically and mentally. It was only after several minutes that Bridger slowly let go of him, clearly reluctant to do so.

Next to the boat Darwin whistled and the teenager smiled. It was time to go now. Lucas leaned over the edge of the speedboat and patted the dolphin's melon. Then he turned to his friends in the boat again, looking at them expectantly. Captain Bridger looked at him with a very serious expression.

"And you are absolutely sure you want to do this, kiddo?" he asked.

Lucas nodded. "This is my family, my home." He said gesturing towards the dolphins and the open sea.

"I see... Well, then... go... Goodbye, kiddo." Bridger hugged him shortly round the shoulders again, then gave him little push towards the side of the boat.

In silence the five adults watched how Lucas climbed over the edge of the boat, and let himself slide into the water, casting his friends a long, last look. He was wearing a diving suit which had been cut on his upper arm and just above his knees. Ben was willing to bet that the boy would get rid of it sooner or later, but for now it was a good compromise – nothing offensive and nothing that would hinder him in swimming.

Lucas savored the feeling of being back in the ocean, surrounded by his family. The dolphins brushed past him, supporting him. The water had pleasant temperature, and its salty taste was another part of the boy's long missed home. The blue depth beneath him was just as inviting to Lucas as ever.

Darwin gently bumped into Lucas' side, signaling that he wanted to say goodbye to him too. The teenager stroked the dolphin, feeling the familiar touch of his skin that was like rubber. Lucas produced a series of tones that showed Darwin his feelings – happiness because he was with his family, sadness because he was leaving his friends. The animal understood and returned the gesture. He was unhappy to lose his friend, but he understood his need to be with his family as well.

With their farewells said, Darwin dived under Lucas, signaling him to grip his dorsal fin, and then pulled him through the water, like he had done countless times on seaQuest. They cut through the water like a knife through butter. Lucas enjoyed every second of it, the touch of the flowing water upon his skin, the nearness of his dolphin friend. Eventually Darwin pulled him back to his family, and with a last whistle of goodbye, left him in their mid. The teenager sent a last look at Darwin and his friends in the boat, before he concentrated on his family surrounding him.

Ever so slowly the dolphins began putting some distance between themselves and the boat with the strange humans, and Lucas let himself be pulled by them away. His mind was too occupied with the reunion with his family right now, to think of his human friends anymore.

The five people in the speedboat in turn, were watching the boy's distancing form intently. They saw him diving with the dolphins, being pulled by some of the animals – pulled away from them. They could make out the smile on Lucas' lips.

No words were spoken in the boat, the only sounds coming from Dr Westphalen's and Hitchcock's occasional sobs. The two women were crying openly, and Bridger and Ben had tears in their eyes as well. Only Justine's face was untouched, like a mask of stone, as she refused to let her emotions show. She hadn't cried in public for as long as she could remember, and she wouldn't change that now either.

It was a strange atmosphere. The sun was burning down mercilessly by now, and it was constantly getting hotter. There were only few seagulls flying in the air now, and their occasional cries sounded isolated, as did the splashes of the waves against the walls of the boat. In the distance the dolphins were swimming happily with Lucas in their mid, edging each other on with daring jumps and flips; their whistles and clicks filling the ocean. The humans in the speedboat were standing in silence, watching their young friend with his family. Waiting and praying for him to change his mind and come back to them.

Lucas was simply enjoying being part of the dolphin family again. Their soft touches, showings of affection and love for him, how he had missed it! 'There's no place like home!' he thought. He could feel the dolphins' sonar vibrating through him, with which they felt for his health, and for his feelings as well. It felt so good to be back.

But then Lucas was suddenly gripped by an incredible feeling of loss, and he had to turn around to look at the boat that was floating on the surface of the sea. His friends were still there, watching him.

The boy forced himself to look away again, to keep swimming and diving with his family. But he had to remember... Remember the time he spent with those humans...

He remembered the time when he and Hitchcock had built that highspeed minisub together. The Stinger as Lucas insisted to call it. The Gazelle as Hitchcock would call it.

He remembered his discussions with Dr Westphalen. They could discuss anything; from science to music, and from Lucas' eating habits to the ideal activities during a shore leave.

He remembered the countless pranks he had pulled with Ben; their ideas to tick off Commander Ford; the poker nights; Ben's whining about the genetically 'improved' food, and way the Lieutenant could make him laugh no matter how bad his day had been.

He remembered Justine, all the support she gave him during his time at the institute, at college and at the seaQuest; the way her green eyes shone, and how she could understand him without a word.

And he remembered Captain Bridger; their talks about science and the need for obedience sometimes; how Lucas had made fun of him for using hand signal to communicate with Darwin; how Bridger treated him like an equal rather than like a child; how the Captain had told him about his wife and his son, and how deeply he trusted Lucas, even though the boy didn't quite know how he deserved this kind of trust.

The memories were so fierce and strong, they almost made Lucas turn around and swim back to the boat; made him almost leave the family he had longed to be with for such a long time.

Almost...


	12. Chapter 12

The five people in the boat waited for a very long time, watching the departing dolphin pod with Lucas among them. They saw how the forms of the animals grew smaller and smaller in the distance, until the people couldn't make them out any longer.

And still they waited on, staring in the direction where the pod had disappeared from sight. And waited. Waited for their young friend to change his opinion, to turn around and come back to the boat.

But they waited in vain.

One time they thought it would really happen. When the pod was about 500 feet away from the speedboat, Lucas turned around and looked at them. But just when the five adults began to hope that the boy might start heading back to them, he turned away again, and let a dolphin pull him further away from the boat.

After more than an hour – Lucas had long since disappeared from sight – Dr Westphalen cleared her throat and suggested in a toneless voice that they should head back to seaQuest, since there appeared to be nothing they could do here anymore. Hitchcock turned to Captain Bridger for his consent, and when he nodded slowly, she started the engine of the speedboat and steered it to where they had left the shuttle. Darwin who had been drifting idly next to the boat all the time followed them slowly.

All the way back to the shuttle, Captain Bridger kept his head turned in the direction that Lucas had gone to, and stared at the distant horizon. No words were spoken during the entire trip back.

The seagulls watched how the humans climbed into their shuttle, leaving this small kind of world; a world of its own in the ocean – a world they didn't belong to. And when the shuttle had disappeared completely under the surface, there were no signs left that it had ever been there. For the sea nothing had changed, yet it had just turned the life of many people upside down.

As soon as they were aboard the seaQuest, Justine requested that a shuttle brought her upworld to the next port as soon as possible, from where she intended to take the next flight back home. With Lucas gone, there was nothing to keep her on seaQuest, or to justify her stay there and she knew it. Captain Bridger understood her reasons perfectly well, and granted her this request. He had a shuttle take her upworld the very same day.

Their farewell was short, and barely enough cover the minimum of good manners – nobody felt the need for big words right now.

After that was done, Bridger went to the Bridge where he informed the crew in brief words what had happened on the surface. A part of the Captain noticed the reaction of the crew, their obvious sadness; noticed the unusual silence on the Bridge after he finished his short speech; noticed that Dr Westphalen was missing – she had already retreated to her quarters in the desperate need to be alone. But even though he noticed these things, Bridger never acknowledged them – he simply couldn't do so. He couldn't bring himself to care about anything right now, feeling once again completely numb inside.

So the Captain just handed the responsibilities of the submarine over to Commander Ford, and left the Bridge.

That had been three days ago.

Three days.

Seventy-two hours.

Four thousand three hundred and twenty minutes.

Two hundred fifty nine thousand and two hundred seconds.

And Captain Bridger had hated every single one of them.

No. Hate was too strong a word. It marked a strong emotion – and Bridger didn't seem to be able to feel something like that anymore. All he felt was this numbness that had suffocated everything else.

The world around him went on in the same way it had done before, but Bridger wasn't part of it anymore. He was rather a watcher than a participant, detached from everything.

Was that what Lucas had felt those last days while he had been with them? Felt like a stranger in world that he didn't want to live in anymore?

Before he had... left them; Bridger forced himself to finish his thought. For that was what the teenager had done: He left. On his free will. More than that, on his own request. Nobody had forced him to leave or had denied him other options. Lucas had wanted to leave.

Obviously he hadn't felt that the seaQuest could be the right place for him; could be his home. Or that Bridger – or anybody else from the crew – could give him what he needed; whatever that might be.

Somehow the Captain felt that he had failed the boy. That he should have done more for him; even though he did not know what. What else could he have done for Lucas? What could he have said? What signs had he missed?

Seen realistically, these questions were in vain now. It was too late. But still they had Bridger riled, and his incapability to answer them left him numb to the world.

Kristin had tried to get him out of his zombie-like state, had tried to talk to him about it all and about his feelings. But Bridger had blocked off her efforts – rather harshly. He eventually told her point to black that he didn't want to talk about it, and that she should leave him the h*** alone.

And the doctor had done just that, hurt by the Captain's harsh words. Bridger knew that he was being mean and unfair to Kristin. With Lucas she had lost a dear friend just as much as he had, and she was just trying to help him cope with it. And he had driven her away.

But Bridger simply wasn't able to deal with the nearness and kindness of anybody right now. He fulfilled his duties like a robot, giving orders, handling the ship, and retreated to the solitude of his cabin whenever he wasn't needed.

Of course this did not go unnoticed by the crew, and several of them tried to talk to him about it; among them Commander Ford, Chief Crocker and Lieutenant O'Neill. But again Bridger blocked all their attempts. He wouldn't have any of it.

However, the Captain wasn't the only one on the submarine who was depressed. It was like a dark shadow had fallen over the boat; everybody seemed to feel the loss of their cocky teenager, and the moral was at an all time low. Normally it would have been Ben Krieg's job as Moral & Supply Officer to raise the crew's mood as much as possible. But the best that Ben could manage these days, was a polite smile and a nod when he walked past someone on a corridor. Gone were the Lieutenants constant jokes, gone his ready smile, and gone his talent to lighten up the worst mood. All gone with one teenager.

Probably for the thousand's time Bridger wondered how this single boy had been able to affect them all so much. When and how had he managed to sneak into all their hearts, without anybody noticing it? As much as he thought about it, the Captain didn't come up with a proper answer. All he knew was that they had lost far more than an ordinary crewmember with Lucas, more than a Chief Computer Analyst – even though that seemed to be the only thing that the UEO cared for.

Like he had promised, Admiral Noyce had informed his superiors, only after Lucas had returned to his family. Shortly after that, Captain Bridger received a call that ordered him to New Cape Quest, to a 'crisis meeting' concerning his actions. This was why the seaQuest was now heading for its home port. Bridger highly expected that a disciplinary proceeding was waiting for him there. After all, he had let the UEO's most promising young genius go without – at least in the UEO's opinion – seriously attempting to hold him back. But the truth was that Captain Bridger couldn't care less about what the UEO was going to do about his actions, for he intended to hand in his notice of withdrawal personally, as soon as he set foot on dry land.

He just didn't want to stay aboard the seaQuest anymore; there were too many memories laced with this place – and no real reason to stay.

When Bill had first brought him aboard the submarine, Bridger hadn't intended to stay for much longer than a short time visit, but the circumstances had forced him to take over the post of the Captain. Still, Bridger could have left after the 'Stark incident' but he found that he actually liked it aboard the seaQuest; so he decided to stay. And even though Lucas wasn't the only reason for this decision, he certainly was one of the main factor for it. In the teenager Bridger had found an attentive listener who actually understood the Captain's ideas, a caring friend, and a surrogate son as well. Lucas' carefreeness, his enthusiasm and his radiating joyfulness had shown Bridger how beautiful life could be.

And now all this was gone. Living aboard the seaQuest would never be the same again without the little genius. In his lifetime Bridger's life had often been completely changed: By his decision to join the Navy, marrying Carol, by his son Robert's birth, and his and his wife's death, and finally by Bill who had gotten the Captain out of his solitude on the island. Every time his entire world had changed; sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Bridger feared it would be the same in this case. But this time he didn't plan to stick around and watch it all. Watch the sudden and the gradual changes. Of course, they all would miss Lucas incredibly, they already did, but in the end life would just go on. Slowly the shared memories of the teenager would begin to fade, and even though he would never be completely forgotten, he just wouldn't be an important part of their lives anymore.

But Bridger was determined not to let that happen. It would feel like betraying Lucas after he had been such an important person in the Captain's life. He would not let himself forget.

This determination not to forget, was also why Bridger was here in the middle of the night. He was sitting on the bunk in Lucas' room, with the lights turned off, brooding. The room still held the teenagers scent, it lingered in the air, and in the clothes that lay strewn across the floor. On the table and the shelves, various computer parts, discs, papers, magazines and books were piled up. All together it looked just as if the teenager could come storming in any second, ready to launch himself at a new project.

But he wouldn't.

Bridger sighed deeply as this realization him again with full force.

Lucas wouldn't come back.

Out of the corner of his eyes Bridger saw a movement, and turned to see Darwin drifting idly in the aqua tubes behind him.

"Hey, pal." Bridger greeted him. The dolphin nodded to him, tapping the glass with his nose. Bridger looked around, and quickly found the vocoder that Lucas always kept around in his room, and switched it on.

"What Bridger doing?" Darwin asked as soon as the item took up its work.

"I'm saying goodbye." Bridger answered truthfully.

"Bridger miss Lucas."

"Yeah. That and I am leaving soon as well." The man admitted.

"Bridger no like seaQuest-home anymore?" the dolphin asked him.

"It's not that, Darwin. I just can't stay here any longer. There are too many memories here; do you understand?" Bridger stared at his hands, unable to look at the animal anymore.

Darwin nodded. "Bridger sad." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I'm sad, pal. I miss Lucas very, very much."

"Bridger no reason be sad. Lucas pod." The animal explained simply.

"That's right. Lucas is with his dolphin pod, and I'm happy for him. But I'm also sad." Bridger said, mostly to himself, unsure if the dolphin would understand what he meant.

"Lucas no dolphin pod. Lucas new pod." Somehow the vocoder managed to give this simple statement a triumphant sound, and it made Bridger look up at Darwin again.

"What do you mean with 'Lucas new pod'?" Bridger demanded. "We left him with his family!" He swore that the next sound coming from the vocoder resembled a snort, and he knew, had the glass not separated the two of them, Darwin would have sprayed him in annoyance.

"Lucas new pod." He stressed again. "Lucas seaQuest pod."

Bridger was startled by the response; he gasped in too much air, which caused him to start coughing violently before he could gather himself. "Lucas seaQuest pod?!" he repeated, almost yelling. "Darwin does that mean that...?"

The dolphin didn't grace his uncompleted quested with an answer. He shot the Captain a last, almost reproachful glance before he swam away. For a minute Bridger sat speechless, staring at the now empty aqua tube. Could it really be? Could Darwin have meant it that way or was he imagining things?

There was only one place for Bridger to find it out. Finally regaining his composure to some extent, he scrambled to his feet and hurried out of the room, nearly falling when he tripped over some junk that was lying on the floor. The Captain practically ran down the empty corridors, plainly ignoring the few crewmen he passed on his way. The men only shrugged mentally at this behavior – the Captain was beginning to act strange these days.

It seemingly took an eternity to reach the Moon Pool area. Nobody worked there at this time of the night, it was dark and quiet, and the room had an almost supernatural atmosphere about it – as if something incredible was about to come.

Bridger slowed his pace, trying to catch his breath after the run, and walked around the working benches. As he neared the pool, the Captain could hear the soft calming sound of splashing water, echoing through the otherwise quiet room. And finally Bridger a figure: Sitting on the 'catwalk' that led across the pool, his feet trailing in the water, as if everything was perfectly normal, as if nothing special had ever happened. In the pool Darwin was swimming around him, from time to time nudging against his feet.

"Lucas..." Bridger whispered astounded, unable to say anything else.

The boy looked up at him at the sound of his name. His face held a solemn expression, and he didn't reply, but only stared into the Captain's eyes for a long time. Then he looked down at Darwin again. Bridger slowly inched closer, afraid that if he moved too fast, the teenager in front of him would simply vanish like a ghost or a dream.

But he didn't disappear, and so Bridger carefully sat down next to him on the small bridge. Lucas didn't look at him, but instead kept his gaze fixed on the dolphin. The Captain in turn couldn't take his eyes from the boy. He felt the incredible urge to hold him close and never let him go again – but somehow he just couldn't bring himself to do it. It was as if a barrier had built up between the two of them. So much had happened... This person in front of him wasn't the same Lucas he had known anymore.

Thousands of questions were flashing through Bridger's mind. What was Lucas doing here? How did he manage to get in here, first place? When did he come back? What was he doing here, sitting alone in the darkness?

Unable to ask all his questions at the same time, the Captain only stammered out: "Why, Lucas?"

The teenager looked up at him for a short moment, a quizzical look on his face since he didn't understand what the Captain meant.

So the elder man rephrased his question. "Why did you come back?"

There was a pause, during which Bridger unconsciously held his breath. Lucas sat still, looking down with a pensive expression on his face.

"Because you let me go." He finally said simply, as if the statement made perfect sense for him.  
And when Bridger thought about it, maybe it did. Almost all his life, strangers had determined what would be best for the boy; the decision whether to stay or to go had never been his. But now his friends from the seaQuest had let him go; he had probably for the first time in his life been able to choose his own way. And this had proved to Lucas, that he was finally being accepted as a complete human being, that he had found a real home and real friends. And so he had come back to them.

When he realized all this, a heavy lump came to Bridger's throat. "Oh, kiddo..." he murmured, trying to control his emotions. Then he reached over and pulled Lucas in a hearty embrace. After remaining stiff for a moment, the teenager hugged him back, and buried his face in the Captain's shoulder.

At their feet Darwin whistled happily. Without the vocoder Bridger had no means of translation, however, he would have sworn that the dolphin wore a smirk that said "See? I told you so."

The Captain couldn't contain the grin that caused his mouth to twitch at this sight. More than once Darwin had proved them that he loved nothing more than to outwit his fellow humans – and he had scored once again. Then Bridger turned his attention back to the boy in his arms.

After a long time, Lucas freed himself gently from the Captain's embrace and looked up at him. They both were silent as they stared into each others eyes.

Then an impish grin suddenly spread across Lucas face, and it was as if he had never been gone. In his eyes sparkled a joyful mischief, and their color had returned to their beautiful, deep blue that resembled the ocean on a sunny day. It seemed to Bridger that in front of him he saw the very same carefree teenager he had met on his first day aboard the seaQuest, the one who had made fun of his hand signs.

Bridger also began to smile, and ruffled the boy's hair affectionately. "It's good to have you back, kiddo." He told him.

"Aye." Lucas replied. "And it's also good to be back."

They fell silent again for a while, until Bridger spoke up again. "Will you tell me what happened out there with your family?" He asked hesitantly.

Lucas shrugged. "Maybe... someday." He said vaguely.

Bridger nodded. For the moment that was good enough for him. Then he slowly stood up, stretching his muscles that protested against their uncomfortable position on the floor. He gave Lucas his hand and the boy pulled himself upright.

"Come on, kiddo." Bridger said. "Let's get you into some real clothes." He said, nodding towards the swimming suit that the teenager still wore.

"Alright." He agreed, and started walking out of the room with the Captain. "I hope you didn't let Ben sell my stuff yet..." He joked as they walked through the door. Bridger's good-natured laughter sounded from the hallway back into Moon Pool area as the two humans slowly left.

Darwin was left, drifting in the Moon Pool, whistling happily. He was highly satisfied with the outcome for his favorite humans. Even though they had proved, once again, to be pretty dense about some things.

It took them long enough to figure out how things were supposed to be. He could have told them so from the beginning – but as usually, nobody ever listened to him. After all, he was just a dolphin.

  


The End

* * *

I finally did it! I can't believe it! Man, took me long enough, didn't it? Thanks to all my reviewers, beta readers (especially to Persephone to stayed with me till the end) and special thanks to Tanja who wouldn't leave me alone until it was done. So here it is!

I know it's not a very good ending, and I'm not too happy with it either. But my muse left me completely in the end, and I was having a hard time finishing it at all. Maybe someday my muse will return, and I'll rework the ending; who knows.

So, feedback anybody?

©Sheela 2001/2002


End file.
